My 3 year old wants his daddy!! How do I deal with this??

Question

My son's father and I were never together, it was a summer fling and I wound up pregnant. I went through it alone, he didnt even see his son until he was 2 weeks old, and in his 3 years of life has spent time with him less than 40 time. My son hasnt seen his dad since easter. And now almost everyday he asks me if he can go see his dad. I call his father and if I do get an answer he beats around the bush to see his child. Last week he was supposed to pick him up and take him for just a few hours and NEVER SHOWED, my son was very upset and angry with me. I'm not sure what to do anymore, I've tried everything to get him involved and he is just stubborn, he now has 2 other children with 2 other women and only sees one of them. My boyfriend of 2 years really gets upset as well because he loves my son like his own and they get along so well, he wants to adopt him when we get married in a year. Is it a good idea to have his father sign off rights?

Answer 1

Why do you torment your son by saying daddy is coming when you know, chances are he is not?  Instead of pulling your kid several different directions, accept the fact that he wants nothing to do with your child.  Yes, your son is angry right now, but over time, when you stop discussing the jerk, he will settle down to life with you and your bf.  If the guy is not supporting the child, you could find out how to remove his rights due to abandonment. Alternatively, and more likely marry your boyfriend and then you can do a step-parent adoption since dear old dad will likely sign off on that.

Answer 2

I agree with what the others have posted. The thing is your child is 3 he blames you or himself for his "father" ,I use that term in biology only, not wanting to see him. He probably feels he's unloved or some crazy thing because of this mans behavior. The best thing you can do for that child is let your current boyfriend adopt if that is what he wants to do. And the next time he wants to see "daddy" ask your boyfriend to take him out for a boys night out. Your son will quickly realize what a daddy really is. Because it is not biology that makes a daddy that is what a father is. A daddy is someone who loves, respects and teaches a child the right way. And that is rewarded years down the road with the same love respect and teaching. Because after all our children teach us as much as we teach them. Good luck to you and your son, and give him an extra hug from me today, OK?

Answer 3

Honey, that guy doesn't deserve a child. Children are a gift from God and that guy doesn't appreciate that. Have him sign off the rights and never call him again. If your current fiance wants to be a daddy, let him!! Your son will soon forget about that dead beat b*****d.

Answer 4

i would say yes he should sign off his rights. make sure the man ur marrying is good and if he is then explain it to ur son that he can call him dad if he wants to or use his name and he will do all the fun daddy stuff with him.

Answer 5

I would have the biological father sign off the rights and explain to your son that your boyfriend is going to be his daddy.  at his age, he may be more stuck on the idea of having a dad (because his friends do) rather than WHO it is in particular.  his biological dad may have actually seemed pretty scary to him when he showed up.  

with the right attitude, you should be able to get him very excited about getting a dad in a year.

Answer 6

I think it would do more harm than good to have him sporadically involved. He's either got to step up to the plate or back out completely. It will only confuse and hurt your son for him to be involved when it is convenient for him. He may be his biological father but that doesn't make him a daddy. A good person wouldn't treat his child that way. It's not your job to make him be a good father- it's your job to be a good mother. I think you need to protect your son from him.