My 3 yr old daughter was molested by our 8 yr old neighbor...I need advice!?

Question

I was babysitting for our close 8yr old neighbor boy who has been like a 6th child. He was here with us and our 3 youngest kids.He was down in the basement in my sons room for awhile with my 3 yr old daughter.We finally went downstairs to check on them to see what they were up to.To my husbands surprise he peeked in my sons room and saw the 8yr old neighbor on the bed with his pants/undies down and my daughter was standing next to the bed.As soon as my husband walked in the boy said "come on" and made my daughter jump on the bed under covers.My husband pulled the blanket back and the boys underwear were up but pants still at ankles.Our baby came upstairs right away.When we questioned her,our 3yr old said he was "pinching her" privates and she touched his.His mom came right away.We talked for awhile with her and says she will put him in therapy and a severe grounding.Question is...is this enough? Should I do anything else? Therapy for my daughter? or never mention to her again?

Answer 1

Talk to the police. It's an illegal act and if the boy's parents think they are authorised to punish the boy themselves, they are sorely mistaken. If he murdered someone do they think they can just ground him and send him to counselling? The police need to be involved. And yes, therapy for your daughter. She will remember and if she doesn't deal with it properly, it will effect her emotions and behaviour later on.

I just want to say again SHE WILL REMEMBER THIS.

He knew exactly what he was doing at 8 years old.

Answer 2

Yeah, maybe you could your daughter to talk to a professional. It might help her open up about it as it probably wasn't very pleasant for her. Poor thing.

Answer 3

Keep him away from her. Talk to her about how that was inappropriate and to never let anyone touch her privates without her approval. But don't make it too serious, after all she's only 3

Answer 4

I would call somewhere that deals with children and see IF she needs therapy.

Answer 5

ur daughter is too little jus never mention to her again how can she undertsand i think its enough but the things u need to do not to talk abt s*x evan not to have s*x infront of ur children and dont let them see those chanels who play those kindaf stuff and u need to keep an eye on ur children GOD i m surprised to hear that thanxs TO GOD that ur daughter is save.

Answer 6

As Much as I don't want to tell you how to raise your children. I would say to wait a little while, to see if she is having anything going on that is out of the ordinary. Like, not being able to sleep, wanting to see the boy again, talking about it, or something in that nature. If she mentions this, that means it may has traumatized her sub conscience and that isn't good. If she mentions it, then you should put her through therapy. But if she doesn't mention it, that means she has forgotten about it, or it doesn't bother her. But also, if she doesnt mention it, it could mean that she thinks its embarrassing or she doesn't want to talk about it. Sit down with her, and ask her if she remembers what happened, and if she does, tell her to tell you what happened, again, because she may have forgotten some of it.  

Thats all I can think of to do. Hope it helped!

Answer 7

Just my opinion, I think she may be too young to fully understand what was going on.

Therapy might be an answer, but only if she seems troubled and distraught by the incident. If not, I suggest not mentioning it.

She may not even remember it ever happening as she grows older.

Answer 8

definetly therapy for the daughter.

Answer 9

she probably wont remember it. i dont remember anything from that age. do you?

Answer 10

no the mother is definitely not doing enough for her son.when i was 8 i knew better.she needs parenting classes.and as for your baby girl you need to get her into deep counseling you have to.please look it up on-line or call a professional.in fact it was earlier tonight that i heard any age over 2 the child will have severe problems.please talk to her doctor i am sorry for your family.you will make it through this.

Answer 11

Get help! Councelling or something like that because she may grow up to have psychological issues!

Answer 12

Children have natural curiosity and will explore...however, your daughter is young.  If you don't make a big deal out of it...the kids will be fine.  His mom is over-reacting a bit too.  When the kids are together...they should be supervised more closely

Answer 13

it all depends my daughter said she was playing doctor with her cousin cause her cousin wanted to "check her" but once me and my ex confronted his brother about this he agreed to supervise them more when she was in his care. i didnt make a huge deal out of it in front of her but i did explain that no one should ever touch your privates and if they do you scream and tell them to stop and you will tell. you cant stop kids from being curious but you can help them when this stuff does come up. i dont think she needs therapy thats a lil extreme unless she is talking about it and doing wierd things

Answer 14

WOW! That is messed up!!! But I think since your daughter is only 3, she wont remember any of this...

Answer 15

are you for real?... anyways poor girl.. she'll forget it by the time she grows to his age and that boy seriously needs therapy THAT IS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!!!!!

Answer 16

It is important that you report this to child protective services in your state. it is a law.  he is more then 2 years older the she is.

because of this you need to call them. if not they can get you for failure to protect your daughter. and be for every one thinks that the 8 year old boy is bad, you need to think about why he is acting out. He has most likely been abused as well. and what you tell her is that, what that boy did to her is a red flag touch and that if an one ever touches her were here swim suit covers to tell you. you let her know that a green flag touch is a hug from mommy and daddy and a red flag touch is any were that her swim suit covers. now is a good time to talk to her about good secrets and bad secrets. over all, just love her. she will be ok. I'm proud of you for reaching out for help!

good job mom!!!! good job!

Answer 17

I would definitely get therapy for your daughter.  There is no telling what else may have been said or done prior.  It's possible he told her to keep it secret along with a threat.  I am so sorry this has happened and it can be devastating to a child without the proper help.  As far as the boy, no I would not say that punishment is enough.  I'm not sure what your relationship is with the parents, but if the boy is doing this, it's very likely that he has been abused in some way and at that age, it's usually by a family member.  You can report him to child services anonymously which will lead to him getting the help that he needs as well.

Answer 18

right now give your daughter more attention than ever just dont talk about it to her she will probaly feel like she has done wrong when she is innocent. The boy well honestly take it to court if the mom does not get him counselin  and make sure she does because for a 8 year old to do that he has to be exposed to sexual activity in his house

Answer 19

erm

what about taking ur doctor to get a check up

i mean there could have been tearing or she might have an infection

and i personally would call CPS on the parents of that 8 yr old

they dont learn this stuff at school!

Answer 20

Oh wow... therapy would probably be best.

Answer 21

kill that **** ing kid

Answer 22

Is this even considered molestation? I don't think so even though it's pretty serious. I though molestation was when somebody 18 or over is doing sexual acts upon someone youger than 18. Anyway shes 3 I don't think she will remember a year from now but if she does say that he was bad mistake and will never happen again. I hope this helps and I'm sorry to hear this.

Answer 23

i am not sure how well she will remember this incident? i would wait until she is a little older and ask if she would like to see someone. i wouldnt make too big a deal out of it for her now because then she is more likely to become scared. just stress that it is wrong of him to touch her like that. of course if she begins acting differently she should go to the therapist.

Answer 24

Why do people have to create new accounts just to post a touchy question?

Yeah, what he did was wrong, never mention it to her again and never let that boy in your house again.

Answer 25

Well ask her how she feels about it. Let her know it is okay to say what she feels. And that you won't be upset with her about anything. Then if she is troubled by it then therapy.

Answer 26

If she has been severely affected by what has happened, then therapy if probably best. But she is only three years old, and will probably forget about it because at this age, she will probably not realise the significance of what has happened. I think that the boy should definitely have therapy sessions to realise what he did was sick and wrong. But I think therapy for your daughter will make her confused in some ways.

Hope this helps x

Answer 27

shoot the 8 year old

Answer 28

I agree with answerer who said that this is just a "let;s play doctor" situation.  The boy should not have involved your toddler though.  However, I would not label this "molestation" and start therapy, etc.  Just never let your daughter play near the boy again (if he is a neighbor, then it will be tough, but you have to keep her safe and away from him).  I don't think a severe punishment is in order for the boy - that could lead to much worse mental trauma and much, much more dangerous psycho-sexual disorders later on.  No, this boy needs to be talked to openly about limits,  the no-touch zones (aka"private parts") and sympathetically about his own curiosity about s*x.  A good therapist hopefully will guide him and his family through this.  Tell your neighbor to be careful  on the "punishment" though....I have read a few true crime books and "punishments" for curiosity about s*x were the starting points for lots of serial rapists...

Answer 29

the are just kids s******g around, they dont know what that stuff is, i would just not mention it and keep a close eye on them when that kid is around

Answer 30

call a lawyer.  see what they suggest.  should you call the police?  should she pay for your daughter's therapy?  her son is the delinquent here, I would think her homeowner's insurance would pay for damages caused by her son - this could be where it would be classified.  good luck.

Answer 31

I don't think it'd hurt to go see someone one time, just to see if she needs someone to talk to.  She may not need, but it certainly wouldn't hurt anything.  I hope she's alright, and I hope that boy gets the help he needs as well, he's very young and I'm sure did not know what he was doing either.  Good luck to you and your daughter.  (and the boy)