My 3yr old acts out at school ONLY?

Question

My son will be 4 in July and is dyslexic (as I was) his behavior in school (Pre School) is getting out of hand - He refuses to listen and he has been hitting other kids, some little boys grandmother has companied about my son so the school tries to keep them apart - does anyone think his behavior has to do with his dyslexia

Answer 1

MAYBE!

the other little kid was picking on him for being dyslexic

Answer 2

Maybe he isn't ready for school. The dyslexia might not have anything to do with it. A not-yet four year old boy is still a babe in many ways. Let him mature at home for another year. It won't stop him from going to Harvard if he isn't in preschool at age three.

Answer 3

Do you think he could possibly be bored? If things are too easy or too hard or just uninspiring he could be lashing out because of this.

Have you spoken to the staff? Maybe they can help by observing his behaviour to see if there's any pattern or stimulus for it. Do you know how the behaviour is dealt with? And is it possible the preschool don't know how to help chidlren who are dyslexic?

Also is your child on an IEP? If you dont know what one is I'm guessing he's not...an IEP could help staff target the undesireable behaviour and find ways to support him. It would also mean he could get outside help to see why he is like this in school only.

Also, has he been there longas it could be a settling in issue or a routine issue? Best thing is to speak to the lead practitioner, SENCO or manager!

Answer 4

Could be but I think you will find he is just starting to find his feet.A lot of kid's at my daughters p group are the same they are trying to establish themselves as leader the same as in an animal pack.Try not to worry too much,when they start school they usually calm down.Good Luck.

Answer 5

I agree with j_mo83........after speaking with the teacher and figuring out when and why he displays this behavior in school you can move forward.  I think the teacher needs to do a FBA (a functional behavior analysis) this means she needs to chart his behavior.  You do this by using an ABC chart.  A = antecedent, B = Behavior, and C = is the Consequence.  This will help the teacher track the behavior and see exactly when and why it is occurring and she might be able to see a pattern.  If he is refusing to listen it might be that the demand the teacher is placing on him could be embarrassing, too hard or he might be confused.  She also needs to come up with a behavior management system for him and the whole class.  She needs to praise when he is doing something good and redirect when he is not.  Visuals work best for that age.  It is like the saying "catch um being good"...she'll soon find out that he will work harder for the praise.  You also might want to consider if the teacher is a good match for your son...is there another teacher he can be put with?  Good luck and hopefully it gets better.

Answer 6

he probably just wants the attention. maybe he thinks the dyslexia makes him... more worthy of it. if you know what i mean.

its probably just a stage, but even stil you need to discipline him to let him know that dyslexia doesn't make him different to any other child.

Answer 7

Dyslexia is not a behavioral problem, so I doubt it's causing his poor behavior outbreaks. Have a conference with his teacher. First and foremost it'll let the teacher know that you are infact concerned with his behavior, you know that other parents are complaining, and you are ready to get it under control. Together, you and his teacher can come up with ideas for behavior management. Something that will be easy to monitor at school and at home. (I sincerely doubt that he's a perfect angel all the time at home - unless he's just always getting his way). Try a reward chart where he gets a sticker for good behavior and a special (small) surprise at the end of each week if he gets so many stickers. Or track the poor behavior by putting a mark on a chart for each poor choice and having it result in a consequence (time off recess or whatnot).

Your best bet is to work with his teacher. That way you will both be on the same page and may be able to get the unwanted behavior under control.

Good luck!

Answer 8

i think its to early to blame it on dyslexia.  I think your child is probably just testing his boundries which he has to learn what is wrong and what is right when he plays with his friends.  I believe alot in praising the good behavior to help him learn this is how he should behave.   Its very hard to seperate

children at this age  without removing or switching classrooms. ( Maybe a change would do the trick.)

Answer 9

I know he is young, but to me it seems as though he may be ADHD.   I know a lot of people say this about children but my son has this problem.   His Terrible Twos started at around 1 year old and are still continuing (he's 14!) - he is now on a drug like Ritalin, only slow release so he only has to take tablets once a day.   I say that I have two children in one.   I love them both, but one I like and one I hate.

My son was diagnosed when we saw a specialist.   She said he was typical ADHD as he had an attention span of a gnat, except when he was doing something he enjoyed.   He could watch Power Rangers but would not hear you when you asked him if he wanted some chocolate!

Speak to his teacher and ask if your son could be referred to someone, such as a child psychologist.   It could be that he is frustrated and taking things out on other people.   However, you need to explain to him, over and over again, that his behaviour is not on.   Whether or not he has a problem, he must be told when he is being bad.   You and all your family must agree on actions with your son - carrots and sticks.   If his behaviour is to be improved, he must know he cannot get round you/dad/granny - even if you do not agree with dad telling him no TV for (say) running up and down the aisles at the supermarket, you have to back him up.

You cannot use dyslexia as an excuse for your child's behaviour - as we do not use ADHD for our son's.   Dyslexia is a way that your body sees letters/words and numbers - it is not a behavioral problem, so I do not think the two are related.

Sorry this is so disjointed, but I hope it makes sense to you!

Answer 10

It could be frustration about not being able to communicate what he wants to say. I would ask the school if they have counseling or psychological testing available.

Answer 11

No I don't think his behaviour is anything to do with dyslexia I think he has some boundary issues and does not like conforming.  I think it is essential that you work with the staff at the pre-school and make sure that you are backing up them at home and reinforcing what they are asking him to do.  If his behaviour is a real concern to them and to you perhaps you should take some advice from your Health Visitor.  your child is going to start Big School soon and he will have to follow rules there and so it could be that the staff at pre-school need some extra support or training.

I will say it again though the most important thing you can do is back them up.  If they tell you he has misbehaved at pre-school don't go home and give him a treat talk to him about what he has done and why it is not acceptable.

Answer 12

There could be several reasons for your sons behaviour.  He may not like being at school and this his way of showing that he is unhappy about being there. He may want to stay at home or want to be at a previous setting as this is what he is used to.

Does he just hit certain children or is it just random?   There may just be a personality clash between the children involved and the school need to possibly do some group work with them, in order for them to get to know each other better.

Your son may also be frustrated with the type of activities whilst at school.  He may be finding the work too difficult, due to his dyslexia, so in turn he may be displaying his frustrations of not being able to take part and complete them.  It could be on the other hand that the activities at school are not stimulating enough and are not keeping his attention.  The school may need to modify his work and give you some ideas on how you can help him at home.

He is still young and is still finding his feet.  Remember to keep praising him for any acts of positive behaviour and en emphasising that he can reach for the stars if he really wants despite the fact he has dyslexia.

Answer 13

I am surprised that he has already been diagnosed with dyslexia as this is not usually diagnosed until elementary school.  (ADHD is also usually diagnosed after preschool as well.)  However, dyslexia should not be affecting his behavior.  In preschool, children hit either because of aggressiveness or for sensory stimulation.  I would have your child's teacher keep track of the child's reasoning for the acts during the day to assess what is motivating him.  It might be a combination of the two.  When a child hits or hurts another child, adults tend to become stressed and angry, but a good preschool teacher will control this and not look at it as "bad behavior" but rather as a situation that needs to be understood or changed.  I would definitely look at the child's classroom and see how many sensory activities are offered on a regular basis.  Also, how much time is devoted to free play during the day- children need to be able to control their own play for large amounts of time during the day in order to be emotionally healthy.  He needs certain activities based on how you want the child to react.  He might need one of one particular type of activity to help regulate his behavior.  There are three types of sensory stimulation activities/experiences/centers that you want for children in the classroom:

          Calming Activities- quiet music, soft and private areas in the classroom, holding or rocking children, stuffed animals, reading stories with one child or in a small group, using free-flowing materials such as paint, water, goop (made from liquid starch and glue), pouring sand, playing with warm water in the water table, another trick is to apply lotion to the child's hands and massage it in- eventually they can be taught to do this themselves- I have found this is especially effective with children who hit...

          Self-regulating activities- poems and chants, chewing gum, sucking on a life-saver or sugar-free candy, cutting paper/playdough/clay, using playdough or clay, playing blocks with the intention of building something (not all children at the level to do this), using drawing materials that they need to press down on- such as oil pastels or crayons.  Games on the playground, riding a trike, pushing a wheel barrow, balancing while sitting on a large ball...

          Activating activities- when child is overly passive- crunching on celery or crunchy foods, clapping, dancing freely to music...

    There is more information on this including a using a "sensory diet" by an author named Carol Stock Kranowitz.  She wrote a book called, "The Out of Sync Child" it is about children with sensory processing disorder.  It is useful for all children because they are all at different points of development and need help calming, self-regulating, and activating their senses.  Your child is not trying to be bad but is over-reacting in his responses.  Even aggressiveness can show that the child needs help self-regulating.  I would look at what his needs are and what adaptations can be made to help your child feel more in control.  Usually environmental changes are more effective for the long-term and for the whole class than tools like behavior charts or stickers which focus on the short term and separate the behavior in a way that can isolate or label the child.