My 4 1/2 year old son is lying to us and his daycare provider. They will watch him do something wrong and then

Question

ask him why he did that and he will say he didn't do it. They state they just watched him do it so they know he was the one that did it and he never will state the truth.

Answer 1

Tell him to tell the truth and if he doesnt hit him till he does...

Answer 2

Well, it's not completely strange to hear this kind of behavior from a preschooler.   Remember, he's growing up, and he is beginning to understand that actions have consequences.   He knows that when he does something wrong, he will be in trouble for it.   Have a talk with him- especially if you see him do something in front of you.   With children, as soon as the incident occurs, he needs to be spoken to, it really makes no sense to bring it up hours or a day later.   If possible, ask the provider to call you when they see this, I know it might be difficult for you if you are at work, but work with the provider so that you can become a support team.   If your child realizes, not only the teachers, but Mommy is disappointed he will quickly learn that his behavior is unacceptable.

When you catch him, tell him that you know he is not telling the truth.   Explain to him that is lieing is not good because then when he does tell the truth no one will believe him, and then he cannot be trusted.    Talk to him in ways he can understand.   Tell him that when he does something wrong, he needs to tell the truth.   Also, dont forget, consequences.   If you see him do something wrong, and he lies, tell him your are disappointed in him, sit him in time out for 4 minutes.   Before the beginning of his time out, tell him exactly why he is under punishment.   Because he lied, and because (what ever else he did).  When his punishment is over, ask him "Why did I put you in time out?"  To see if he has understood the reasons of his punishment.   Be consistent, he will eventaully grow out of it.  

Go to this site, it has some helpful info.

http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Spe...

Answer 3

my brothers girlfriends kid does that he will be 5 on november 8th

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel. Maybe he does it to get attention.. Of course by lying he thinks he will not get in trouble and it the total opposite. I found this great article. Hope this helps.  I always tell my kids lyying is not right and they do get in trouble if they do. You also have to lead by example; if you lie they will do it too. Bad behavior should be repremended, but praise him when he tells the truth.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_lying_11557....

Answer 5

Many kids go through this stage.  I just read an article about it in one of my parenting magazines.  You just need to let him know lying is wrong.  Practice with him on telling the truth.

Answer 6

I have a 4 1/2 son old also.  On top of telling "lies" he takes things that don't belong to him.  

The way I see it, he tells lies because he has just discovered that he has the ability to tell lies.  When he does it, I point out to him that I know he is fibbing and I don't appreciate it.  I make him tell me he is sorry for lying to me, acknowledge the truth and deal him a little punishment.  At this point in his life I don't really think it is something to worry about.  They are just learning right from wrong and they have to test the waters.  You need to find some way to let him know it's not ok to lie.  Everyone has their own opinion about disciplinary actions so I won't advise you in that area.  I think as long as you are concerned about it and take some affirmative action to help him correct the problem your son will be fine.  It's the parents who don't do anything that have problem children.  Good luck to you!!!

Answer 7

I heard that it is very common in 4 year olds. They are not lying in the way that an older child is lying. They want that to be true so they feel if they say it....somehow it will be.

I read that it is pointless to enter into the kind of arguments that your daycare provoider is doing.

Instead ...don't ask them whether they did it or not or why they did it (they probably don't know). Just state what you saw the child do and what the consequences are.