My 4 year old daughter does not like her new preschool. Should I change schools?

Question

My daughter was in a Preschool last year two days a week (half days). This year we wanted her to go all day to get prepared for Kindergarten next year. Needless to say we changed schools. She has a best friend that goes to this new school called Goddard School. They are in the same class. I drop her off at 8:30 and pick her up around 3:30pm. Drop off is terrible. I feel like my child is being traumatized. She will scream bloody murder and hold on to my leg for dear life. I hate how the teachers do not help me in the morning with her. I miss how her old teachers were more nuturing and caring people. Here I feel like I have no help with the transition. I also stayed for a while the other day to see what a typical morning was like and I was not pleased. This is a daycare not a school. There is no structure really just a lot of free play and activities to go to. The teachers refer to the kids as friends instead of boys and girls and the overall feeling I get is just bad. No wonder why she isn't happy. She is bored. Do you think pulling her out and going back to her old school is a good idea? Her old school has one opening for MWF all day and I need to let them know asap if I want the spot. When I asked her she said she wanted to go back. Even without her best friend. To me that was a big red flag!

Answer 1

i'd suggest going back to your old school if you were happy there.  but make sure your child understands that this is final.  she doesn't have the option to just stay home.  that she will be going to school.  she's been through a huge transition going from part days to full days.  i say go back to the part time preschool and let her be a kid.  she'll be going to school for years to come.  why push it?

Answer 2

I am having the problem you are as far as the latching on and screaming with my daughter. She is 4 yrs old today and hates preschool. She goes all day as well. I think it is the separation for us is the problem and not the school. If i thought it was the school I wouldn't hesitate to pull her out. Listen to your gut instincts cause they are most of the time right. Kids need structure and if she isn't getting it at school then its not benefiting her. I would put her back into the other school and also I wish they only offered 3 day a week preschool where I live because I think 5 days a week is just to much.  

Answer 3

Doesn't seem like that school is really benefiting her. I would pull her out. You might as well send her to day care if its all open play. That's not really teaching her what she needs for next year.  

Answer 4

Yeah make that change!  She isn't happy for a reason.  Don't neglect your child's ques.  I still remember a bad day care experience when I was four.  As an adult I wonder how my mom could have left me there even though I know she just needed to go to work, but still!  Take her somewhere else!

Answer 5

Trust your gut feelings & go back to the other school. She's acting out due to something traumatic that has occurred there. You aren't happy with the overall picture of this school. Again, go with your gut feelings & take her back to the former school. If it was anything else going on, I'd say to let your daughter stay put, but I'm getting vibes that something is amiss at this new school.  

Answer 6

It is a big change going from two half days to full day-and is this now everyday? Change takes a while to get used to and so she may just need to time to get used to the long days. As you say it will benefit her in the long run as she will be in Kindergarten soon.

Would the daycare let you do half days until she has settled into new environment? Then you could slowly increase it hour by hour over the next few weeks? You say about free-play-most settings prefer the approach as it is based on a theory called "Learning through play" and maybe it seems more unstructured because they are letting kids settle in before they start more activities. We have two weeks of free play to settle children into setting, staff and make friendships and also so we can learn the child's abilities, interests etc.

When you called and the teachers said she's fine surely thats a good thing? In my setting we have many children who scream when parent leaves and then settle as they get engrossed in play-then they cry at the end simply out of relief that mummy/daddy came back and its home time! It's not a sign they cried all day! You could ask them to take photos for you to see so then you will see if she's crying, what she's doing etc.

However if you do not feel happy then maybe it's not the right school-maybe you could look into other possibilities. You've got to ask yourself-is it a bad feeling because you know she's upset or because you just dont like the setting? If its the upset part then maybe once she has settled you'll feel better and if you really dont like setting then I would find a more suitable one.

I think you should speak to the teachers at the new school and say you having a tough time with your child, and shes is very upset-they should be trained to support you and your child and you may be ableto come to an agreement.  

Answer 7

Definitely send her back to her old school

Answer 8

I would think about changing her school if she is unhappy.  The fact that you do not get help with the transition when leaving concerns me. Your child'ss main teacher should be there in the morning helping with transitions comforting the children when you leave.  Schools that have open play are great but there should also be structured time when you child is with a group of children their own age with age appropriate activities.  If your gut feeling is that your child is not getting what she needs, then change her school.  

Answer 9

You absolutely need to make a change.  I had a great experience with a Goddard School, but every one is independently owned and very different.

I live in New Jersey and my city has a wonderful pre-school program through our public school system.  Contact your city's school district - there may be a program you are not aware of that would be beneficial educationally and socially for your daughter.  Some (like mine) are free, which is a big plus!

Where ever you decide to place her, the staff should help you with the transition during drop off, no doubt.  They should be there to help distract her with an activity or comfort her when you are leaving.  I have 3 boys and I'll never get the image of him standing at the front door of our babysitter's house crying his eyes out while I drove away.  The difference was that she held him and helped him cope, plus called me to reassure me he was fine within a few minutes of my leaving.  Some kids go into hysterics but with kind caregivers, the drama is usually short-lived.

Even daycare should give your child intellectual stimulation.  Whether her old school or if you find a full day situation elsewhere, at her age, she needs to have an environment where there is constructive play, reading, letter and numerical skills... not just a free-for-all play day.

I'm certain you've answered your own question here - any "red flag" is definitive that your little girl needs a different situation.  I would bet that drop off is going to be much more pleasant for you both, as well as the rest of the day, once you've found a positive place.

Why don't you put her in the old school for now, and that will give you a chance to find a full time pre-school without the pressure of getting her out of the Goddard school as fast as you can.  You'll know she's happy and it will give you a chance to do your research.  After you meet with any new school staff, it's always a good idea to visit with your child following then drop in unannounced on a typical school day before making a decision.  Any place that doesn't like surprise visits, I would write off immediately.

I hope this information is helpful to you and your little girl.

Answer 10

you should enroll your daughter in a school she likes. then, try to check her always in school so that teachers would be giving more attention to your daughter..