My 4 year old is still having tanturms. suggestions?

Question

Normally it's when i have to make him leave a place when he doesnt want to leave....like when we go to the swimming pool. i've almost thrown my hands up and said i'm not taking him there anymore because everytime we have to leave he throws this huge screaming fit to where i have to pick him up and carry him out of there. i'm really scared he's going to get hurt because he's 47 pounds and i'm 120. i'm scared one of these times he's gonna get too out of control and i'm gonna accidentally drop him. i've tried time outs and i've tried telling him that i'm not going to bring him anymore if he continues this behavior. he'll apologize after the tantrum is over, and i'll agree to take him back, but then the same thing happens all over again. this happens anywhere, the playground, grandma's house, play groups. and if he's tired during one of these tantrums...it's 100x worse. so anyway, i'm taking suggestions from anyone! and plz done refer me to the supernanny website. i have her bookmarked lol

Answer 1

Show him a calender and the days of the week. Mark one day off every day before bedtime so he understands the time and day. Do that for a week. Then show him the calender and tell him you are going swimming but that if  he throws a fit upon leaving that he will have to wait 7 days before you try it again and show him on the calender how much is seven days and mark it for him to see. Check it off every day so he has something to look forward to. Before taking him swimming on the given day show him that if he is naughty when it is time to leave it will be 8 days before he can go again. If he leaves nicely 3 days. Keep marking it at night and showing it to him. Praise him every time he leaves some place without throwing a fit. Also practice going to places for just a few minutes, be sure and tell him it is just for a few minutes, and leaving and praising him for a job well done. Use the calender as a visual for him every day. Don't argue with him about anything just show and state the outcome. Never take him someplace when he is already tired as you are setting him up for failure. Take him visiting and swimming first thing in the a.m. or after his nap. I hope this helps.

Answer 2

"i've almost thrown my hands up and said i'm not taking him there anymore because everytime we have to leave he throws this huge screaming fit to where i have to pick him up and carry him out of there."

If it were my child the first time would have been the LAST time.  You haven't been consitent in your discipline.  You TELL him you're not going to take him any longer and yet you do.  You can't tell him you're not going to take him and then turn around and take him.  That's WHY he does this, he KNOWS he is going to get his way one way or another.

Answer 3

Until you follow through with your threat of not taking him back until he learns to behave he'll keep doing it. Common sense. If all he has to do is make puppy eyes and say sorry do you really think hes not aware that you'll give in? If you ever watch super nanny you'll see lack of DISCIPLINE and follow through is usually the main issue as it seems in your case.

Answer 4

When you tell him you are not going back and the he says he is sorry and you take him back HE WON. Next time tell him he's not going back and when he says he is sorry tell him you thank him for his apology but he will have to sit the next time out. Stick with that. Don't take him back. Let him know that it's not o.k to just say sorry without truly meaning it. You demand him to change his behavior.

Answer 5

You must get a handle on this before this child is 200lbs and beating up people to get his way. My husband and i have decided to use spanking (not beating) with our children, and since our kids were 6 months they have never been allowed to throw fits. This is something that you have to do time after time after time. Kids will find out that you can't spank in public but our kids now find out that we do spank in bathrooms and that they can't get away with it.....Our kids now respect us and they do love the fact that there are rules and regulations. This helps when they get out in the real world where you can't just do what you want.  I suggest that you get a handle on it before it goes to far....Good luck.

Answer 6

my brother is that way and we found out last week that he was a.d.h.d.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like your discipline isnt working... The next time he pitches a fit...Tell him you will not take him back until he learns to control himself...Before you leave the "swimming pool" tell him you would like to bring him back on "Saturday" if he can leave without pitching a fit...If he pitches a fit just tell him, well that was your decision, we cant go back to the pool on Saturday, then DONT take him on Saturday...Just make sure he understands if he behaves he gets to go and if not he doesnt get to go...It may take a while but eventually he will realize that outings are rewards for being good not something mommy is required to do!  Good Luck!