My 4 year old refuses to clean himself after pooping?

Question

my 4 year old goes to the potty but screams when it comes to cleaning himself after pooping. he gags on his own smell and wants to get out as fast as possible. i think that it disgusts him and he doesn't want any of it on his hands!! he is starting pre school and i've told him that i will not be there to clean & that he needs to learn himself. its even come to the point that after screaming for 5 minutes that he gives in only if he uses latex gloves...(so his hands doesn;t get dirty) so i don't know what to do now..i tried to reason with him and even bribed with treats..but he just doesn;t want p**p on him and hates the smell. so if anyone can give me some advice..i would appreciate it. thanks

Answer 1

He can practice breathing though his mouth while on the potty.

Also, you can practice a way to make sure that the toilet paper is always between his hand and his bottom. If it means a couple extra squares so be it. It's likely a stage that he'll grow out of.

Answer 2

Tell him that if he doesn't wipe, the p**p will stay on his bottom and be smelly all day. Then when he pulls down his underwear, it will be on it too. It might disgust him enough that he'll take the lesser of two evils and wipe.

Answer 3

you're the mother, get a grip on the boy and make him do as you say.

Answer 4

So let him stew in it. He has to clean himself up. If he throws a tantrum ignore it. Maybe you should leave a box of the gloves in there that he can use?

Answer 5

ignore 'woman 2'. This does need to be trained. What I would do is to not teach him too.... the more you focus on punishment and trying to make him... you are creating a fight, which makes him resist more. What I would do is to get a reward chart. Now at 4 years old most kids still need help to wipe anyway.

So you need to get him all excited about this sticker sheet. Whenever he 'tries' to wipe his butt... even if doesn't acutally wipe... but just even touches the toilet paper onto his butt... than he gets a sticker. Keep doing this and start rewarding for the behavior as it gets closer to what you want. At first reward for any effort at all... but as time goes on... only reward for closer approximations of what you want. If the sticker is not movitating enough... you can have a candy jar.

This is the type of thing that if you discipline or make a fuss over.. you are only going to create shame and a 'dirty' feeling in the child... and create more resistence. I would not punish here... just train.

Answer 6

Try moving him to the toilet a far bigger drop which in turn is less likeley to make him messy. put smelly gelll down the toilet befor he poos giving a nicer smell when it hits the water. You could also try the wet wipes you can buy for children when they go to the toilet. Get children aorund that are toilet trained and comment on how big they are because they wipe thier selfs. Also dont mention he needs to do this for school. School can be scary and this could just be another factor so he doesnt need to go, it also puts presure on you and him.. Not sure what else just a few things i can think of. Hope it helps good luck .x

Answer 7

you could try the really cut throat way...dont wipe him anymore. Give him some wet wipes in the bathroom (it cleans up the p**p better) and leave him on the pot until he wipes, he's not gonna stay there forever especially since he hates it so much. Im sure it'll only take a couple of times before he gives up on the screaming. My son went through a phase where he would just leave p**p on his butt, eww, even though it lead to an itchy crack, I told him if he didnt clean it he would get sick and worms would start living in his butt, that seemed to do the trick for mine, good luck!

Answer 8

If he needs the gloves, have them handy and get some wet wipes too but encourage him to wipe his own behind.

Answer 9

Poor Kid...he sounds as though he has a strong gag reflex and weak stomach.Almost a phobia...(he may need professional help for this)Try getting him a box of disposable masks and some of those moist cleansing towelettes to use after he uses the restroom...the moist wipes will help him get the job done quicker so that he doesn't have to smell it...as he gets older he will probably become more comfortable with cleaning himself. Make sure he knows how important cleaning himself is, since failing to get the f***s off of his bottom COMPLETELY could cause other problems such as infection...good luck with this.