My 4 year old won't stop lying?

Question

My 4 year old lies about everything and I am afraid my son who is just a year younger will pick up on it and start doing the same thing. Her father (who isn't in the picture) was a liar to the extreme and it landed him in jail. Is there a genetic link to lying? At first I wasn't very hard on her because she was lying about things like wetting the bed or her pants and I know things like that are just accidents, then it started getting worse, she started making up things to lie about. I have tried many different things to stop this and so far nothing has worked. I am not interested in mom bashing remarks, I am here for good advice from the experts aka people who have been there and done that with their kids!

Answer 1

Maybe he feels he isn't getting enough attention.

Punish him when he lies. Tell him stories about what can happen if you lie.

Show him what lying is like from the other point of veiw

Answer 2

Start by getting down on her level and talking to her.  Ask her if she is sure that what she is saying is the truth.  I always say "Mommy can tell when you are lying!"  If she continues to insist on lying about whatever it is tell her she has one more chance or she gets a spanking.  It doesn't have to be anything dramatic.  Just a swat or two on the butt.  Have her sit down for a few minutes and then start all over again.  Usually the truth comes out after the first time.  Of course, be SURE she is lying before you do that.

Answer 3

Could be a genetic thing.  There are certain things my daughter does that remind me of her father even though she hasn't seen him since she was 9 months old.

My mom says I was a huge liar when I was little, that I would make things up for no reason like your daughter.  She taught me that some things were okay to make up while others were not.  We had "story time" each day where I was allowed to come up with the biggest lie I could think of.  My mom would embellish the story and we would have a good laugh about it.  She said it worked for me and soon I was writing my stories on paper and the verbal lying almost completely stopped.  I'm still writing stories today for my little ones.  Big lies at a young age usually mark a vivid imagination.  Give your daughter an outlet for that and who knows?  You could be the mother of the next J.K. Rowling.

Answer 4

It sounds like a faze to me....

Just catch her in her lies and give her punishments for the lies.

She will learn and out grow it.

Answer 5

its normal for kids to lie- its actually a sign of intelligence actually since they are able to conceive of a story and elaborate on it. She is still at that age though where she may not understand pretend from real life, so I would just talk to her about how whatever story did not really happen. And for the accidents- she may just be embarassed so I wouldn't worry too much about her lying about something like that. Have you tried a reward system? Start off with a certain number of tokens or whatnot in a jar, and everytime she lies she has to take one out. And then at the end of the day, dependent upon the number of tokens she has left she can have a treat/watch tv/have mommy time. (so have one half hour of tv be worth like 2 tokens, and if she has that many left she can watch)

Answer 6

maybe your 4 yr old doesn't know truth from lies yet

Answer 7

Either she's around liars, or she's exposed to them on t.v or something.  4 years old is a bit  young to be starting out this way. It is a learned behavior not a genetic  one.

I would make it clear to her- EVERY TIME you catch her lying- you are smart enough to catch her lying, so you're ahead of the curve- that you  know she's lying and it won't be tolerated, and  make a punishment and for Gods sake stick to it!

Answer 8

Well I think it is a genetic thing because my cousain will lie about things and my uncle is just the same. But maybe she will grow out of it because my cousin has kinda stopped the lying, he use to be bad about it but now its not that bad.

I know you dont really care about what i just said but im just thinking that it might be genetic

sorry boo boo i cant help

Answer 9

have you tried reading the story of "the boy who cried 'wolf'"?I hope you remember that story.

A boy was sent out to tend to his animals. And he gets bored so he screams "Wolf, wolf"

The towns people come to his aid to drive off the wolf, but when they get there, no wolf can be found and the boy is laughing.

A few days later the boy is out tending the animals again, and again the kid is bored so he calls out "Wolf,wolf"

the towns people comes to his aid again. Again there is no wolf and the boy is laughing.

This happens a few more times. And again there is no wolf and the boy is laughing.

Finally a week later a real wolf comes and attacks the animals, the boy cries "Wokf, wolf" again. The townspeople have been fallen for the lie so many times that no help comes.

And the wolf kills the anamals and the boy.

What's the moral of the story?

If you lie; sooner or later nobody will believe you even if you tell the truth.