My 4yr old is giving me trouble at bed time, help!?

Question

We have a good bed time routine and always have, he has a bath at 7pm and then pyjamas story and in bed by 7.45pm, BUT, he hates his bedroom he says he is scared in there and screams if I leave him alone in bed. I turn the lights out but leave the hall light on and say goodnight, he will cry and come out of his room. I immediatley take him back to bed and repeat the goodnight but he keeps coming out.

I have been known to return him 30 times in one night, if he does eventually go to sleep he will wake up crying again all hours in the morning and we will have the same episode again.

I don't react on the outside but on the inside I am screaming!

How can I get him to go to bed like a normal person?

I have also tried gradual separation by moving further and further away from him each night but he takes up to 4 hors to drop off this way and again wakes screaming later.

I have tried putting a baby gate on his door way but he can climb over it.

Answer 1

hey

I dont know if this would help but i use to have a glass of warm milk at night and that helped me sleep.

Also have you tried a night light?? Maybe that would help.

I hope you find a solution :)

Answer 2

The thing that I would suggest is this:

First, make sure the bed is as far away from the window as possible, but then I would take him shopping. Have him pick out a nice set of sheets for his bed, and a new pillow or two. Also, allow him to pick out new curtains that are what he himself chooses.

A lot of times when children are afraid of their bedroom, all it takes is making it a room that is "all theirs" because then they will want to be in it, and it also is a way of "getting rid of" the scary feelings, and "bringing in" the good happy feelings.

It might cost a little bit of money to buy new sheets and a blanket and pillows and curtains, but usually that is all it takes for children to see their room as "the coolest" which wipes away the scary feelings.

Good luck to you :-)

Answer 3

Why not ask him what exactly it is he is scared of . Then ask what could you put into his room to make him feel safe . I would recommend a nightlight as well.

Good luck !

Answer 4

buy a popup tent and put it up in the bedroom and put the bed in the tent.     its like their own little fort.

Answer 5

You can buy small plug-in lights that come on when the room goes dark and they did the trick with my daughter.

A light on outside of the room can create all sorts of shadows that can scare a small child so i used this small lights along with a dimmer switch on the main light.

This keep the light extremely low but gave an even, soft light throughout the bedroom avoiding those shadows and dark areas.

The small lamps can be bought just about anywhere for a few pounds and use a lightbub with a softer glow.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/AUTOMATIC-SENSOR-P...

Try using a large toy in his bedroom like a big teddy and tell him that the teddy is there looking over him while he sleeps and he's there to protect him.

My friend used a baby monitor in that his son could call out if he needed him which avoided the chid getting out of bed.

You have to do this right, you MUST go to him when he calls or he'll not trust it, after a few weeks he just stopped.

This whole thing is just about the childs insecurity, being scared and alone so there's many ways you can tackle it.

Answer 6

From what you say, it sounds like he really is scared rather than just being difficult. If he is scared have you tried to find out why? Has an older sibling told him somethig scary will happen to frighten him? Maybe something makes scary shadows? The only advice i can give is try to really wear him out so he cant keep his eyes open so that he learns nothing bad will happen. Good luck and well done so far!

Answer 7

I had the same problem - don't worry, it is a phase and it will pass.

I allowed (and sometimes still do) allow my son to fall asleep in my bed and then carry him through to his bed when he is sound asleep. It solves the problem.

Another thing I did was install a bedside light with a switch where he can easily reach it and operate it himself; let him fall asleep with it on and then just turn it off when he is asleep

Good luck

Answer 8

Have you tried a night light? Or perhaps leaving his bedroom light on, maybe it's the darkness he's scared of (even though you leave on the hallway light). Maybe you could try some sort of reward system, like a star chart where if he goes to bed like a good boy he gets a star and after so many stars he gets a treat. Does he have a teddy to take to bed? When I was little my parents bought me a new teddy to sleep with on the promise that I would stay out of their bed!

Answer 9

Either he's testing his limits, or he's genuinely scared.

Try a night-light.

Or stay in the room with him until he falls asleep. You can rub his back to help relax him, or sing him a song.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Why not put the light on inside his room? Also try watching Supernanny...

Answer 11

There's some fantastic children's books that deal with this. Helen Cooper has one called 'The Baby Who Wouldn't Go To Bed' with lovely illustrations. There's also 'I Don't Want To Go To Bed' by Tony Ross... Perhaps you could read one of these books to your little boy and then try talking to him about whether any of the characters sound familiar in their behaviour, or simply say "They were like you and didn't like going to bed..."

You could also try getting him a fancy nightlight (I'm pretty sure places like Daisy & Tom do some featuring pirates or Disney characters) or some new bedlinen with characters on that he's into. Try making bedtime something that can be an adventure (fantastic story, followed by sleep under his fancy duvet with his nightlight on and surrounded by his favourite soft toys)...

Good luck.

Answer 12

Night Light

Monster - Ghost Spray Recipe;

1 quart water

1 tablespoon Fabreeze

Mix together in old spray bottle.

Attach label that says Monster Spray.

Tell the child that monsters and ghosts dont like things that smell good -- and that they can keep the monsters away by spraying the Monster Spray.