My 5 y/o isn't circumcised and now he feels "different" & is too upset to change at camp at swim time.

Question

Has anyone else experienced this and/or have advice about how to handle this?

Answer 1

I circumsized my kids, but we went by the same method you did.  "Like daddy."  

I would just teach him that everybody is different.  Then if he's still self concious in a few years, ask HIM if he wants to be circumsized, he may surprise you and say he prefers the way he is.

Answer 2

First of all, I do not understand why ANYONE would not circumcise their son for two reasons.  Number one being an infection issue (bacteria thrives in those dark, moist folds) and number two the reason you are now writing about.  Who can blame him for hiding and not wanting to be seen?  Kids are cruel and say mean things....and this will continue through high school as well so prepare yourself.  I dont have any suggestions as to how you should handle this except maybe talk to his pediatrician.  You might want to talk to him about having it done before he gets too much older to save him the embarrassment and mean comments once he starts school.

Answer 3

And he's 5?

Sorry, but I don't believe you. And the fact this is your first every contribution to Y!A reinforces my belief you just made all that up.

Answer 4

At 5 years old, your child won't know much beyond what he has been taught at home.  Since it sounds like you wanted it done, I am guessing you have probably planted the seed of embarrassment.  Most boys don't know anything about circumcision until they are much older, circumcised or not.

You should be building your sons self esteem in every way possible.   My son is only four months, but I can bet you that when he is 5 he won't care because I will have made him feel perfect.

I am 34 and I am proud to have everything I was born with.  My f******n has not caused me any social or physical problems in my life. But then again, I have been taught and believe that I am superior to circumcised boys, because I had the opportunity to choose, they didn't.

Answer 5

Troll...

Answer 6

Firstly can you talk to the teachers or counsellors or whoever about this? They need to get through to the children that teasing about genitals isn't acceptable, and your son needs to be left alone. I also hope you can reassure your son that the reason he looks different is because he has his whole p***s - if you explain in an age-appropriate way that the other boys had part cut off, and he is the one with a normal p***s, he might feel a little better. I highly recommend against a circumcision now it would be painful and cruel and just teach him to change himself to deal with teasing. what if he gets teased later on about height or weight or acne would you recommend surgery? I'm sorry this is happening and hope you can speak to the people in charge to sort it out and also reassure your son.

Answer 7

It's never too young to teach a child that it's *ok* to be 'different.'  



"Johnny has bright red hair, and Mike has brown skin and Chris has 5 sisters.  And you have a f******n on your p***s."

Answer 8

I think I'd have a nice chat with my child and find out why he feels different and is upset.  It sounds like someone other than other children might be making fun of him.  If it's a counselor, you need to call the camp staff and raise a ruckus.

That said, my kiddo will know that he is intact and whole.  And if other kids make fun of him, I'll ask him to chin up and to remember (privately) that they are missing parts of their genitals and that he wouldn't make fun of them for such a sad thing.  He can be the bigger man.  

Kids make fun of other kids.  I was mocked for wearing glasses.  Unlike circumcision, it didn't scar me for life.

Answer 9

I used to work at a summer camp. I worked with 7-8 year old girls mostly. What we did with the shy ones was to allow them to change privately. Its not unusual for children to be shy, regardless of their circumcision status. It is likely that if your son was cut, he would still not want to change with the other kids. Send him in his swimsuit in the morning, then ask his counselors if he can change in private afterwards. At the very least you could teach him how to cover himself with a towel. I would also talk to him about it- that nobody else is looking, that everyone is different, and that its normal to feel funny changing in front of people, so you just do it fast and get out. Since his father is intact, have him talk to his son about it as well. If he absolutely won't change, the worst that happens is that he sits in a wet bathing suit for the rest of the day (actually it would probably dry pretty quick most days), or he doesn't get to go swimming. Either way, he may decide its more fun to put up with a few moments of changing time than to deal with the natural consequences.

Congratualtions on raising an intact son btw. -Neb

Answer 10

I agree with that guy. 5 years old ?? Doesnt sound normal to me. Imagine when he faces major problems in life. I think you made the right choice by not having him circumcised anyway!

Answer 11

Have him wear his swim trunks and a shirt, and then he need only remove his shirt when it is time to swim.  Afterwards, he can change in the bathroom.

The ratio of circumcised to noncircumcised is nearly even right now, so he will not always be "different".  I would not get it done now based on this one incident.  Explain to him that everyone is different-and that it is okay to be different.

Answer 12

NOw see what you did?NOw your child will be self concious for the rest of his life.......Try to explain to him continually that it ok to be different like the above girl said good luck...