My 5 year-old daughter got a makeup kit and I don't like it. Suggestions?

Question

Yes, I know the standard, first-impulse answer will be "What's wrong with that - just let her have fun". But the thing is, I'm very concerned about the current trend of heavy makeup, short skirts, and sexuality being pushed on girls at way too early an age. I understand that girls have always wanted to play dress-up with Mommy's clothes and makeup, but it was still understood that these were adult things and the play was pure fantasy. Now it's being pushed on girls as the way they should be. It isn't play or fantasy any more, it's become their identity. I truly hate this trend and I believe it's very damaging to young girls' self esteem, not to mention the possible physical dangers later like teen pregnancy and STDs. Some may think I'm overreacting, but as a Mom it's my duty to guide my kids.

Back to the makeup:

She puts on lipstick and heavy pink/purple eyeshadow that makes her look like a clown (or hooker, to be honest). Should I tell her she looks ridiculous? Ignore it and hope it's just a passing phase? Forbid it altogether with the above explanation? I would NEVER have bought this thing for her, but certain other family members seem to think dressing a 5 year old like a sorority girl is cute. GRRRR... More on that later.

Help?

Answer 1

Well, first off, I'd try teasing her, like, "You look so ridiculous, [insert name]!" Have fun with it and, after a while, if she keeps putting so much one, try suggesting, "Why don't you put not so much on, honey?" Tell her she's beautiful when she's not wearing the makeup.

Maybe you are overreacting... I'm not sure. It makes sense why you worry but, just because of this retarded new trend, it doesn't mean little girls still can't like coating on a ton of stuff.

If you're super worried, just take it away or give her a limit to what she can do.  

Answer 2

Keep it for dress up.   Obvously I wouldn't let my daughter go out in public like that, but I think for dress up purposes, it's fine.  If you want, play with it with her and do her makeup for her.  That way you can control how much and what colors she has on.

Answer 3

let the poor kid play dress up. you are looking way to into it. you just teach them the difference.

Answer 4

You're her mother. Take it from her. She is way too young. You set the boundaries not her! If you let her get away with it it will only get worse and worse, good luck!  

Answer 5

My daughter is only 8 months old, and I already  worried about this. For all the same reasons you've mentioned and more, I would  probably not allow her to play with makeup, or keep the makeup kit.

Answer 6

If it was my child, i wouldn't even let her near the make-up. Take it off her, as I also think the trend of young girls these days are ridiculous. If she does get into your make up bag, I think that is fine as it is normal for her to snoop around in mommys make up bag.

I hope that helps as I'm not yet a dad! :D

Answer 7

I agree that girls are wearing make up much, much too early.  However, when I was a little girl (I'm 46) I had make up to play with.  My mom enforced a rule that I was allowed to play with it only in my room or when I was playing "dress up."  We had hand-me-down skirts, high heels, hats, purses, jewlery, etc, that we would sometimes wear when we played with our baby dolls.  Mom actually has some hilarious old photos of us kids and I enjoy looking at those photos now. Just so you know.... Of the girls I played dress up with, only one of us had a baby, none of us wear much make up and certainly don't feel compelled to wear it EVERY time we leave the house....and never, never felt naked without make up.  None of us were sexually permiscuous.  

I think it is fine to "play" with make up just so long as you teach your daughter it is just play and that too much make up looks silly.  Try playing WITH her.  Intentially put on too much make up and show her just how silly it looks.  Have fun. Laugh. Make memmories.  Take pictures!

Answer 8

Take it from her until she's in middle school or high school (your pick)

Answer 9

My daughter did the same at that age, take some pictures and let her be a girl. With your proper guidance she will become a wonderful young lady with taste and fashion sense and you can laugh at the clown pics in a few years. Your concern shows you care, your guidance seperates you from a parent too busy to deal with these issues.

Answer 10

My daughter got a couple of these 'kits' when she was close to 6 (so right around the same age). What I did was I took them from her as soon as we got home. I ruled out what was good for usage (threw out the shadows, glittery powder and anything else that would make huge mess), such as the lip gloss, sheer lip sticks and nail polish. Perhaps when she gets a bit older I will be more comfortable with her wearing shadow, liner, etc. once I know she really wants to wear it and I can show her how to apply it properly. I myself am not a big makeup person, so we'll see if she picks it up from her friends, whatever.  You do what you feel is best, because ultimately your daughter is hopefully one day going to look back and respect you for what you did. Good luck. =)

Answer 11

I'd talk to her and explain that make up is a big girl thing, and that in our family we wait.  Possibly pull out one item that she can keep for now, or go and get her a lip gloss that has no colour.  Then put it away until she is much older (I agree with you on that one).  Don't just take it away without explanation or she will try to do it behind your back.  I think this is a great way to open up lines of communication with your daughter, and starting as early as possible!

Answer 12

Well I agree with you but even if I didn't my advice would be the same, follow your instincts and do what you believe is best for your child.  I would tell her that she is too young, without going into all the other concepts she wouldn't understand, and get rid of it.  

Answer 13

Just hide it (aka throw it away) from her and tell her you don't know where it went.

Answer 14

well i think if you dont like it take it away you dont wanna  take a chance so take it away if you want

Answer 15

I totally agree with you, little girls shouldn't be dressed as (cheap?) teenagers, I don't have a girl, but I think, what do you leave for when they're 15 or 18 if at 5-6 they already dress and act like that?  A therapist who held the workshop I attended for more than 2 years always told us that having the children wait is ok, so I would just talk to my daughter and explain her that make up is not for little girls, thake the whole kit away from her and at the time you do this, provide her with some exciting coloring set, doll, pet or whatever other thing you know she'd love.  Tell her that this is ok for her to have due her age. If she makes a tantrum, let her, she still understands.  She is in a lovely age in which they believe in us parents and you need to talk to her or act without hesitation.  Do the same with the family members that come out with the "cute" argument, or ignore them, you know better who you can talk to or not.  

If your daughter insists, perhaps you could arrange for a play with her cousins or friends once in a while and let them wear make up, not to look like sexual little things, but like princesses, fairies, zoo animals and other fun stuff.  I hope it helped. Wish you the best!!

Answer 16

Why don't you tell her that the make up is meant for halloween and if she keeps using it there won't be any make up left for halloween. Or let her use it up and make sure she doesn't get another make up kit.

I personally feel she's to young to have a make up kit anyway.  

Answer 17

I have four children and my youngest ones are 7 and 5 1/2. Any time they receive make-up for a gift, it goes right into the trash and it is replaced with something I find more appropriate.

Kids are growing up WAY to fast, and there is nothing wrong with trying to keep them little for as long as I can.  

Answer 18

It IS a passing phase.  Most little girls do this.  It's called playing make believe and to think that fantasy play will cause teen age pregnancy or promiscuity is just plain silly.  

Answer 19

I agree with you. Throw it in the trash after she goes to bed.  

Answer 20

i agree with you...girls are starting way to early  when they play dress up that is different  just tell her she cant go out side  with any make up on till she is wayyyy older.....little girls are growing up way to fast it seems..you sound like a wonderful mum  ..and the world needs to have mums like you  so we can keep our little girls....  little girls like they should be....

Answer 21

YOU are the parent, if you don't want her to have make up take it away from her.

Answer 22

okay i'm sixteen.. and when i was younger my mom let me put on as much make up as i wanted, and dress up however i liked--- free chioce.. i had freedom so as i grew up i knew i didnt have tobreak/bend rules because i was trusted and had a very good amount of freedom.. to this day, honest to god, i have not smoked weed, partyed--under the influence, or even consumed alcohol for that matter smoked cigarettes, had s*x, gotten a tatto, snuck out, nor do i hangout with anyone who had done any of these things-- BY CHIOCE. i understand your a mother, who doesn't like the image today and who am i to tell you how be a mother, im only 16....but in my PERSONAL opinion if you hinder your daughter and put too many restrictions she will only feel like shes being held too close and react by rebeling against it.. still being a teenager i certainly agree if my mom were to all of a sudden take away my freedom i owuld begin to rebel-- sneaking out, doing what i want even though it upset her, etc.. but i know that i am trusted and do not NEED to sneak out because i have the freedom to go sleepover someones house, or go to a party and not drink, i know it's just make up but i feel very strongly about this because i think my mom did an amazing job on raising me... && i forgot-- i was ALOUD to wear make up at any age, so it wasn't a situation for me "you always want what you can't have" because i could.. and i just started wearing it a year ago.. and i hear other girls say in 9th grade "oh my mom won't let me" and im like what ?? you know what they do ? take it to school behind their mom's backs and put it on at school.. so you pick..

oh and did i mention she's also my bestfriend, my mom is...

and i tell her EVERYTHING (:

Answer 23

Quite honestly you are over reacting if anyone saw this child with her makeup on at the store everyone would know that she is playing dress up. Pick your battles. If you make a big deal out of something it will be come a big deal. By the time she really ready to wear make up the novelty will wear off and she will apply it properly. Is she your oldest?

Answer 24

Answer: you're her mom, put it away and replace with a different toy.Next time, nip it in the bud before she opens it. Tell her you will put it away until she gets older.

Answer 25

well if she wants to play with make up then do her make up for her and give her stuff not as hookerish then you have control over it

Answer 26

Your daughter "got" a makeup kit? where, a magic hat? don't you have a say about what/when how things get into your 5-yr old's hands? (my wife controls the grandparents, even). To me, this is odd.

Do you wear makeup? While its important to what she sees, wants to emulate -- if you have her watching Bratz or Barbie, you are conditioning her for style/fashion and makeup. She may have older cousins, etc. that she sees all made-up. Or, you may allow her to watch Older TV like Disney nonsense about getting boys, dressing-up etc. like hannah montana and HS musicals and dramas? (keep her watching to her age)

Playing the house is one thing -- walking outside is another. I don't see how you equate the hooker comment with a little girl, that's too much for even an exaggeration/joke. Stage moms do that, for shows/recitals, etc.  Teen pregnancy? you're a little overboard, and mayeb using this post as a SoapBox?

...You should just tell her "no makeup untl you're 15" - this will work, if you know how to replace that toy, with something else like Webkinz or something more age-girl appropriate...

Answer 27

i wouldnt let my 5 year old play with it. i dont blame you for bein upset at all. just take it when she goes to bed and get rid of it. mean, but hopefully she wont notice. and you'll avoid a tantrum. unless she notices.  

Answer 28

As long as she is only playing dress up, I do not see the harm. I certainly would not let her outside the house with it on. I would also make her wash it off when play time is over. Every little girl plays dress up and have for a very very long time. As long as she knows it is pretend and that only adults wear makeup outside, she will be fine. Good parenting prevents the hooker looking girls.  

Answer 29

It's part of "pretending".  I used to teach make-up at a modeling school.  Sometimes, I'd bring my daughter who was only 3-5.  She'd have her own make-up and "pretend".  Flash forward.......today, she JUST began wearing make-up all the time.  She'll be 17 in January.

Answer 30

Wow, I'm surprised with all the answers that agree with you.  I do agree that young girls nowadays are headed down the wrong path but I don't think that play make-up got them there.  As long as you continue to parent your daughter throughout her life, she's not going to get an STD just because she had play make-up as a child.  My daughter is 3 1/2 and I've dressed her up and put tons of make-up on her several times for fun.  Of course she didn't go out in public like this.  As a child, I never had limits on make-up and got to put it on for fun whenever I wanted with my mom helping me.  And when I got to be of an age to start wearing make-up my mom taught me how to put it on appropriately.  Odd thing is, because I never had a restriction on make-up, it was never a big deal for me.  All my friends who weren't allowed to wear make-up until a certain age ended up looking like the clowns with too much make-up.  I would say relax a little bit and let your daughter have fun with make-up but explain that it's just for pretend and dress up time at this age.  But I do agree with you that it's our duty to guide our children so, of course, to each their own.  I just feel the bigger deal you make about make-up, the bigger deal your daughter will make of it.  

Answer 31

My daughter whom is 4 likes to put on makeup and I buy her a makeup kit from the kid section. She too puts on heavy makeup but knows to wash her face after she's done playing, and knows she does not wear it out of the house. But your daughter is your daughter and if you feel the way your feeling take it away and tell her you don't think she's old enough to play with makeup right now.