My 5 year old says she hates herself. I'm worried.?

Question

my 5 year old daughter gets mad at herself when she makes a mistake and actually says she "hates" herself. i don't know where she got that from but it worries me. is she depressed?

Answer 1

My children tend to have high self esteem and both are perfectionist. My youngest is 6 and she is very bad about this kind of attitude. We never put her down, and I'm sure you don't do that to your daughter, either. It's really a perfectionist thing. My husband did it growing up, too. My daughter rips up art work and cries if she *thinks* she has messed up and screams that she isn't good at anything and hates herself.

I just started this and it seems to be working.

When she does that I hold her hands and ask her if she can think of anything that she is really good at. she usually says "singing." Then I say, what else? If she comes up with nothing I tell her everything that I think she's good at, from being kind, taking care of her kitty, beating me at mario go kart on wii (lol), making up song lyrics or whatever. Just list things she is good at. It will calm her down and lift her spirits.

Answer 2

She needs to know that mistakes are ok and normal.  Show her and tell her that you yourself make mistakes.   She needs to know its part of everyday life and everyone makes them.  Explain to her that no person on earth is perfect.  Remember to point out the things she "shines" at so she can celebrate herself at times.

Other than that lots of TLC and hugs.

Answer 3

when she says that give her a hug and hold her telling her its okay and that you love her. I became clinically depressed at age 6 but it was from ongoing neglect and abuse.

Answer 4

give her positive reinforcement on a daily basis. Compliment her on the good things she does and tell her how much you love her. tell her how smart she is, how talented, let her know how much she's loved.  (Also, ...make sure you don't insult yourself  around her, you might be doing it, without realizing it?...) Just let her know how great she is in every way. hope this helps!!!  

Answer 5

if she only said it this once, i wouldn't worry too much about it. if she says it more than once, i would set her down and ask her why she said it and why she should not say it.

from personal expirience, i would say that she might have just heard the word and figured out what it means, if it was the first time and she noramally doesn't talk like that. it is actually an ok thing for her to use new words as long as you teach her to use them appropriately. im not saying that the word "hate" is a great word, but she is 5.

my 8 year old stepped on our kittens tail  and he said "i should just kill myself!" i immediately explained to him that is not something he should say and how it makes me feel when he says it. he understood and i havent heard anything like it since then. he has said other innapropriate things as well, but that is what kids do.

if your daughter shows other signs like hurting herself or others or being unessicarily mean to friends and family or saying off the wall things everyday, then i would become concerned and contact your family doctor. good luck!!

Answer 6

instead of focusing on mistakes give your daughter praise and tell her all the things she's good at. encourage her to join a club like dancing or whatever she fancies to give her a hobby and something to make her feel proud and good about herself. you could also allocate a special day when you're both free, for example every sunday, where you spend quality time just the two of you. if your daughter continues to feel she hates herself then take her to the doctor who can decide if she has depression and can refer her to a child counsellor. good luck xx

Answer 7

She just wants to do evething right. She probably thinks she is the only one that makes mistakes or that she just isn't good enough at what she is doing. I wouldn't call her depressed, she just has to learn how to deal with mistakes.

here's what you can try

Let her see you make a mistake and how you handle it

tell her it's ok to make mistakes everyone does it

lets say you are teaching her to write the ABC's and she messes up tell her that it's fine. Everyone has done that and that's why they put an eraser on everyone's pencil.

I really hope this helps I have a 5 year old too that I am trying to do this with.

Answer 8

try to spend more time with her and maybe tell her a few tips like everyone makes mistakes and hate is a strong word especially against your self

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