My 5 year old was booted out of pre-school...?

Question

I was wondering if anyone had any ideas. My 4 1/2 boy was booted out of a public school program for 3-4 year olds. It seems he was missbehaving and the teachers could not handle him. He went for 3 weeks, 4 days a week, a full day. His teacher would call me each Thursday and I would have to suck up the embarassment and go pick him up. We punnished him at home buy taking away all of his privilages, but nothing seemed to work. School is going to start again soon and I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how I can get him ready.

Answer 1

You need to spend some time observing different preschool settings.  Talk to the teachers and administrators upfront and ask them how they resolve discipline issues.  I recommend trying a Montessori school.  Children are free to make decisions about what they want to do instead of being told what to do all the time.  Put an effort into finding a good fit for your child.  It will be worth it in the long run.

Answer 2

Sounds like he does have behavioural issues.  I suggest seeking a little counselling, perhaps your doctor could suggest one.  

Too many parents put their children on meds to cure this, please don't.

Answer 3

How does he behave at home?  Have you taught him to follow directions, be considerate of others, etc.?  Do you give him attention when he does welll--or just when he misbehaves?

Answer 4

Punishing him will only make things worst. Talk to him and ask him what's wrong and why he's doing certain things.

What do you mean by misbehaving? He's being too rowdy in class? Enroll him in sports like a soccer program to release the extra energy.

Answer 5

dont worry, they kicked my son out of pre-school too, he is now a senior in high school,makes great grades,never in any trouble,a champion chess player,tons of good friends and graduating high school in may. ( he just hated pre-school but once he started regular school loved it), its maybe because they may have to take naps and he dont want too? other little kids are bullying? try switching classes,or whole schools,or get a sitter instead,goodluck.

Answer 6

Tell him that this is his job.  Tell him he needs to cooperate with the other children so everyone can have a good time and get their job done.  

I told my son this when he was in Kindergarten.  He was bringing home notes everyday and we had to have a few conferences.  After our conversation he told me.  "OK Mom...I'll do my job, but that doesn't mean I am going to like it."  Bottom line is: it worked for him.  Give it a try.....

Answer 7

Kids mature differently.  I know my neighbor's seven-year-old is having serious issues.  She wants to have him tested but her husband is against it.  I'm talking he has taken scissors to another kid and threatened to cut out that other child's soul, cut himself with the scissors, cut off chunks of his own hair, etc.  This is behavior that does need to be looked at.

I think for your own son, it is a question of what he is doing that the teacher cannot handle.  If he is posing a danger to himself or to other kids, you may want to seek a counselor now to get to the bottom of it.  If it is mild stuff like ignoring, running around, etc.  He might just not be ready (mature enough) for pre-school.

Answer 8

There might be a behavioral problem with your son, have you tried talking with your pediatrician or GP about this.  I really do not believe he is so unmanageable that he can't be in school but try to get some outside help and all should turn out well.  

All the best.

Answer 9

I have never heard of a school kicking a child out for misbehavior!  The teacher couldn't handle him???  Evidently there is a problem and the school should be the one helping you find out why your child is acting out that way!  Doesn't your school have a guidance counselor?  I feel that this was very unfair and unethical of them!  I would seek legal advice...a consultation is free, couldn't hurt.

As far as your son is concerned the reasons for doing this can range from getting attention or something more serious like ADHD.  Speak to his pediatrician about it, he will tell you where to go from here.  

Good Luck!

Answer 10

Are there any major changes in your child's life? (new siblings, moving, death) these may negatively affect his behavior.

Ask for specifics, what did he do? Schools are responsible for the wellbeing of the children in their care, he physically hurting another child is a serious offense for the school and it may be cause of dismissal.

If you already know exactly what happened, talk to your child about the issue, tell him why the behavior is unacceptable. Set up house rules, give him responsabilities. You must be aware that he might be young but he does understand the consequences of his actions.

Best of luck!

Answer 11

I work at a preschool and we deal with many different behaviors,In my opinion, I suggest that you look into another preschool and see if he does better because if the teachers did not want to deal with him they could boot him, their choice. If your son gets booted from another preschool then I would start seeking professional help. Maybe he did not click with the teachers, it happens( some people just don't click). We had a student that cried for six weeks straight because of the new beginning we got through it and he is still there.

Answer 12

preschool kids are now being kicked out preschools at an alarming rate.  I believe that all the focus on accademics at such a young age has made us forget about the social development of children.  I would look into getting your child evaluated for special services.  There are services for preschool kids with behavior issues.  I am a teacher of a prek classroom for kids with chaellenging behaviors.  call the school district and ask who provides these services in your area and get your son evaluated.  Don't wait until kindergarten comes.  He needs help now.

Answer 13

That is so funny!

Answer 14

Nanny 911

Answer 15

I managed a daycare center for 5 years. All kids are different and need to be disciplined in different ways. What exactly is he doing at daycare that you get called from work? Is he hitting other children, not listening to his teacher etc..? If you plan on putting him back into a daycare center, have a talk with the director first. Tell her your problems from before and ask how that center thinks they can help your child. Maybe it was his teacher. In my experience I noticed that some children responded better to a quite teacher who expects nothing but angel like behavior, while others were more respectful to teachers that were more leaniant. Does your school have an "open door policy" where you can pop in anytime? They should! And maybe you just want to pop in one day where your child cannot see you, and see how he is really acting. Since you were called every Thursday, and you did show up to pick him up, maybe he has figured it out that you will be there so he continues to act out.

Stand your ground! Do you think EVERY child out there is just perfect at school. NO. All kids misbehave, and let your school know that you do not want to be called unless your child has done something extreme, like bite or hit someone. Being grumpy or not wanting to listen is something that every kids does all the time. Honestly I would look into the teacher and her behavior before I stressed too much about your 5 year olds almost normal acting. Good luck

Answer 16

I have owned a preschool for 12 years. We have asked only maybe 3-4 kids to leave. While many school toss kids out for lesser reasons, the ones we have asked to leave have all had some sort of emotional or other problem larger than we could handle.  Often its source would be parenting, but as often as not it would be something that a child psychologist or other educational  evaluator would pick up.  He may be very frustrated with a learning disability, mild autism, ADHD or ADD.  You should get specifics of what he was doing in preschool, this should be documented!!!!, as well as when and what was setting him off. Bring all this to the psych. and go from there. Disciplining for things he did at school would be pretty ineffective, as the time in between would be too much for him to connect it.  Try also being very, very stern and consistent in your parenting, - do not let him be "in charge", you are the parents! If he is allowed too much of being in charge at home he will expect the same at school, where that is not possible, and he could be showing great disrespect to the teacher and other kids. good luck!!

Answer 17

At this point until you can figure out what the issue is and have a program in place to rectify the problem you may want to consider waitin until next year.

As others have stated he may just need intervention if there is a behavior problem. Be honest with yourself on this one. It will not help him if you aren't and I know you want what is best for your little one. But if there is no issue with his behavior while he is with you but he is having trouble at school he is not mature enough to be there and needs more time to get ready.

Of course there is the possibilty that the school is not handling this properly. In which case it is time to consider private school, home school or moving to another district.

Good luck

Answer 18

First of all....the Teacher should be able to control a 4 1/2 year old and if he/she cannot then they should not be teaching that age. Time outs are given at most pre schools and seem to work well.

Punishing a child at home (after the problem occurs) defeats the purpose cause they need to be repramanded immediately otherwise they don't understand why they are being punished and then act out more. My suggestion is to request that one day you stay at the school (outside the sight of your child) and watch what goes on. By removing the child from the situation at hand only gives the child the confidence that if he/she acts up they get their way (which in this case is to go home). Most kids do not want to be away from Mom and if they are sent back to Mom for a tantrum (THEY WIN). And will do it all the time.

Eventually, by keeping the child in school and letting them cry and give them time outs when they are BAD will calm them down cause they will realize that no matter what they are there and not going anywhere. Don't remove the child from the school, the Teacher will have to find a way to calm the child down. Maybe the teacher is not including the child in the days activities. Tell the teacher to let your child participate by being the one who who leads, such as STORY TIME. One little thing that works well is line leader. Don't give up and don't let the teacher give up either.

Good Luck,