My 5 yr old daughter wont quit throwing tantrums at school.?

Question

She will cry and yell until finally they call and I have to leave work to go get her. we ground her from t.v. and other things and try to talk to her any suggestions on what else we could try

Answer 1

This is just me. My son used to do the same thing. But I felt he was special needs. And I was right. It turned out he is PDD-NOS. Family and Friends always advised me to "discipline" him. I couldn't bring myself to do that. I am Glad I didn't, because he didn't fully understand what was expected of him. Now he  so well behaved. Now i am not saying your little one is special needs....I am saying follow your gut. I am a firm believer in  "MAMA KNOWS BEST"

It could also be she needs time to adjust to school

Answer 2

What is she throwing tantrums about?

Kids throw tantrums to get what they want, because they know it works. If you don't succumb to her wants, then she'll figure out that tantrums don't work anymore, and she'll stop.

Answer 3

take away everything from her and tell her if she behaves herself she will slowly get them back

to try to help her get along with her classmates , invite them over for a playdate try to help her make friends

Answer 4

You may have to consider taking time off from work and attending kindergarden with your daughter for about a week. What was her day care situation previous to this? She also may just not be ready for school. My brother had the same problem, but this was along time ago so they just put him in the corner or something and ignored the tantrum instead of calling the parent. He failed kindergarden and had to repeat it.

Answer 5

Maybe have a play date at your house, if she had some friends with her at school and meet them while you are around it might make her feel better at school.

You're daughter is winning everytime she throws a tantrum.  Everytime you come, she gets her way by coming home and seeing you.  Sorry, but taking away TV is not a punishment.

Have a conference with the teacher and ask if she can put your daughter in the hall instead of calling you.  By now you daughter knows everytime she throws a fit she will get her way by seeing you, and going home.

Answer 6

She knows now, that if she has a tantrum, You will come get her out of school. You and the school need to work together to break her of this....I realize she is probably in Kindergarten, and they probably cannot handle this situation in the classroom, but constantly sending her home is reinforcing the behavior..."I don't' have to stay here if I throw a big fit". Sit down with the teacher and powers that be, and work out a solution. Have her go to another class, or to the office, until she calms down, and can return to class.

I also recommend a method of discipline called

Smart Discipline by Dr. Larry Koenig. Look it up on the web, sometimes they have seminars locally. It is where the child is given a certain about of "chances" then privileges are taken away for the rest of the week. It is a visual system, so the kids can see what will be lost for bad behavior. Also read Dr. James Dobson's Strong Willed Child and Dare to Discipline....I may not agree with 100% of what they say, but they do have good ideas.

Answer 7

I'm sorry you may not like what I tell you but it's a try.  I think you need to discipline her.  Take her and whip her behind.  Alot of parents dont like to do that but it's a way she'll know that you mean business and that you're not playing with her.  

Keep in mind:

Children only do what you let them

Answer 8

Did you let her throw tantrums before she went to school?  I'm not judging but maybe being a better parent before would have helped this problem.  5 years old is getting to the point where you will have to dedicate a lot of time to changing this behavior.  Spend time with your daughter and set her down the right path before it is too late.

Answer 9

Maybe you can spend a couple of days at school to make sure all is OK with her teacher and classmates. Always rule out any real reason first.If the kids are OK and the teacher treats them OK, then Ask the principle If they have a room they could put her in to throw her tantrums and they know she would be OK ,Don't  go pick her up early. You know this is all she is wanting. let her throw the tantrum ! After a few days of this, she will see that it is getting her nowhere and she will quit throwing tantrums. I would put a mattress pad down for this one little boy I took care of, ( he banged his head on the floor and kicked). I put him off in the bedroom and told him he could cry and scream all he wanted but I didn't want to hear it. I told him he could come back out when he was finished screaming then I shut the door.It wasn't 10 minutes (I guess) and he decided that if he was the only one listening, he didn't want to hear it either. He never gave me any problems after that. I listened for all sounds to make sure he was OK and didn't hurt himself but he didn't know I could hear him. Hope this helps with your daughter.

Answer 10

Go see your doctor. This doesn't sound like typical behavior for a 5 year old. Also, if she isn't interested in other children or what's going on, that is a big red flag.

This is a behavior, and  taking away TV is not a solution to something that is going on at school.

Asked the school psychologist to become involved. If you keep going to school to get her, nothing is going to be solved. Ask for a behavior intervention program. If your child isn't in a public school, then call the regional center or your school district (school districts are responsible for children ages 3-22).