My 5 yr old is absolutely out of control!?

Question

My son has lately been out of control. He screams and throws things when told no about something. Yesterday we were all out at the pool and he decided he didn't want to be out there anymore and that he wanted to go home. I said no so he ran around the pool screaming "I want to go home!" When that got no reaction, he climbed the 6ft chain link fence and ran to our apartment. I had a problem with this because noone was in there. He then called me from my daughter's cell phone inside our house and cried that he was lonely. I told him that he should have stayed at the pool. Today, I told him to let go of his sisters' mp3 player and he yelled "No!" So, I told him to go to his room and to leave my mp3 player in the livingroom. He threw my mp3 player, which he was listening to, across the livingroom and ran screaming down the hall. I'm ready to throw my hands up in the air from being frustrated. I don't know if it's ADD or not, he is only like this at home. He is fine at school.

Answer 1

Its not ADD, its lack of parenting.

Lets get this straight.....

You have a 5 yr old boy.

He climbs a 6ft high chain link fence and runs away.....

Then calls from home.....

And exactly what were you doing during all of this?

First if he's running around the pool screaming you must physically sit him down so he doesn't hurt himself or others.

Before he got half way up the fence, you needed to physically pull him down.

No way can he be on the way to the apartment, let alone there by himself.

He has no parents.... or at least anyone who acts like a parent, and so this is what he has become.

Answer 2

If there are no penalties for bad behavior, (in fact, he's getting rewards) he will behave badly.  You realize, right, that in life there are consequences for certain behaviors.  He'll never learn that any younger and you are the one who needs to teach the lesson.

Answer 3

Yea, just ignore them, pay attention only if they are about to hurt themself

Answer 4

If he only does it at home, then he's obviously looking for attention from you or someone else at home.

Answer 5

hi my son was like that starting at age 2.  At first i thought okay its the terrible 2's and then it got worse by 3.  He got kicked out of daycare twice and finally by the time he was 3 years old, i had to get help b/c my parenting skills were poor for this type of behaviour.  It turned out that my son has ADHD with oppositional defiancy disorder.  I dont think your son has it or it would of showed up earlier at daycare but sometimes people notice it more when they start school but you stated that he acts good in school. So...there is definetly some kind of defiancy going on at your home.  What helped me was reading self-help books on difficult or strong willed children and i sought counselling from a trained social worker who works with kids with defiancy.  She worked with me and my son for about 1.5 years for behaviour management therapy.  It took time but it helped alot.  I had to learn new parenting skills. the main thing was diciplining.  All the diciplining strategies that most parents used failed for my son.  Time outs didnt work, talking didnt work, spanking made things worse.  I had to use other techniques like reward system with tokens or tickets.  when he was younger i used charts.  I started giving him choices where he had to pick out of options so that he felt in control.  I also had to remember to reinforce positive behaiouvr b/c i only yelled at him when he was acting out.  So whenever i got him doing something really good at home, i would go out of my way and give him positive remarks.  This helped too.  I mean there are alot of things i had to do and it took alot of heartache and frustration.  Now my son is much more manageable but he's still argumentative but he does what he's supposed to do without fussing as much.  He's now 7 so its alot easier but he will always be argumentative or try to get his point across.  We are constantly comprising.  Its tough.  You are lucky that he doenst have ADHD or ODD.  My son also has to take meds which helped so much with the behaviour managgment.  The meds helped him focus better so he can absorb the information.  You are lucky that your son is normal.  Sounds like you  have to update your parenting skills or find new ways to deal with your son.  He's probably learned that by acting out, he can get his way or your attention. This has to be changed and will take time.  Just remember, you will go through a very difficult time at first when making changes.  He wont be used to this and will act out even more...but you will notice a change as long as you stick to the plan.  Please get some help.  There are professionals that study children that can really help you and your son. they did for mine!!  I couldnt of done it without the help.  Oh i forgot, i also joined a parenting group that had kids like mine and this helped me out bc i could talk to other parents without feeling like a freak or getting yelled at by someone that i ddnt kow how to parent.  So i hpe this helped.  Its a contstant battle.

Answer 6

Hmm. It is not your fault. When he does something attention-seeking, ignore it. If he screams or anything, put him in his room and let him scream or cry. DON'T respond to him. It sounds to me that he just wants attention. Reward him when he is good.

If nothing works, send him to a counsler or doctor.

I hope things get better for you!

Answer 7

I think the most important thing here is for him to see that whatever he does it will not make you upset. as soon as he thinks he has 1 up on you he will use it to his advantage. try and be calm when disciplining him. remember to reinforce a reward for good behavior and the opposite for negative behavior. does he eat much sugary stuff?? that may be affecting his mood.

hope that helps

Answer 8

Why the h**l didn't you stop him from climbing the fence or go after him when he ran home? I smell bullsh*t. And by the way, you said it was his sister's MP3 and then you said it's your's...

Answer 9

it is not ADHD if he is behaving at school. Sounds like he is pushing his boundries and you have to clearly show him where those boundries are. There is nothing wrong with a smack now and then. If he throws the MPS player then take away any electronic devise he holds dear to him as he is not responsible enough to have it. You need to step up in the parenting department. Check out this and see if it is running in your area

Answer 10

Dont worry its not that your a bad parent its just you need some help.