My 5 yr old son is very competitive and he always wants to win! What do I do?

Question

What can I do to make him realize that playing the sport is just for fun and he should not feel hurt when his team is not #1. He literally was crying on the field because the other soccer team was beating them. He came up to me and said, "they are beating us! I just want to win!" Of course, all the other parents were watching his behavior and I felt on the spot. If you have had this problem and have solved it, I'd appreciate some suggestions.

Answer 1

you need to teach him how to lose. To do this play board games and card games and don't let him win. When he loses you teach him the right way to behave

Answer 2

let him win some times and some times beat him and tell him that its OK to looses some time... that way when he loses he will feel bad but know its OK.

Answer 3

He may grow out of it...he may not.  Some people are just competitive.  This may be a good inspiration for being the best he can be though.  Or maybe there is a solution.  I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Answer 4

Maybe you could tell him that his behavior is not big kid like. Don't yell. and everytime he acts like a bad sport take him aside and tell him if he continues he will have to sit out. It may be a phase, but also you don't want him to always be like this, so make sure he understands it's okay to not always be number 1! Everytime he does it explain to him that in life you can't win or lose. It's about learning from experiences and this is an experience for him and he needs to learn from it that it's okay to let other people have the spot light sometimes. also when he loses take him out for ice cream and don't even mention the fact that he lost, tell him how proud you are and that he is a good boy! Just keep working at it and he will eventually get it...don't give up:)

Answer 5

If your son is competive and wants to win, is he actually a good player himself? No offense. If he is then you should let him know that even the best players lose games. One player should not hold the whole team on their shoulders.And give him examples of great players losing ie. ovechkin not making it to the finals this year. Let your son know about the fun aspects of sports as well, they are just as impotant as being competitve. Its good he is competeing at his age, but he should also start with fun.

The important thing is that he plays his best and has a good time out there.

Answer 6

my cousin is like that. lol when we play board games he gets kinda mad so i usually let him win but when he don't i just try to explain that when he plays games with his friends if he gets mad then they won't want to play with him anymore. that usaully helps. but i mean there just kids they don't understand yet. he will sooner or later.

Answer 7

well wut happend is like u mentioned hes oviously competetive really just have to sit down and explain to him which i know is probably hard for a 5 yr old but try be like its not just about winning its about fun if you dont win it doesnt matter you had fun and like try to make him understand i know its hard cuz a 5 yr old i mean wow but hes only 5 so he will get over it !

Good luck best wishes !!

Answer 8

i think that many young kids (at least ones i have known) want to win all the time. its just an obsession. you could have a nice talk with him and explain that not everybody can win all the time. but i think its just a phase and will pass soon. you could play games with him and beat him some times (start out  with small games small and work your way up) just to show him that its ok if other people win and what to do about it. when he gets older it will most likely go away.

hope this helps

Answer 9

it's very natural to want to win at his age, all kids are like that at his age. Some kids even want to cheat or cut corners to win. It's all about his self esteem. Competition can be ahealthy thing too.

But if his behavior is over the top and embarrassing to you then you need to explain that it's great to try and win, to do your best, but teamwork and having fun is even more important, and that the other team wants to win too!

Give him time to mature a bit and realize that nobody can win all the time.

Answer 10

encourage him and ignore the negative behaviors like tears.  some  people are driven to succeed.  don't do anything to discourage him, but get him out of competitive sports for a  year till he matures more.

Answer 11

Don't be too hard on him; it can be a blessing.  I was like that when I was 5, and even though I'm 22 and graduated from Yale last week, I still am like that in many ways.

Think of a competitive personality as a wild horse.  Sometimes, when you try to ride it, you'll get thrown off, cry, and throw temper tantrums.  After you get thrown off enough times though, you make peace with your competitiveness, and channel it productively.

Don't beat the horse; help him tame it.  Help him get perspective.  Tell him that if he doesn't want to lose, he needs to stay calm, stay focused, and practice harder.  Winning isn't everything; doing his best is.

Answer 12

Im sure he picked it up somewhere. Weather it be his couch or other kids. Just tell him a story about how you have lost several things but it never meant you was bad at them. If he learns that you literally cant win 100 out of 100 games then he will be ok. He is 5 though so thats a good thing. He is still young and you can teach him this before he gets any older. Tell him others deserve to win to and even if he looses a game it doesnt mean he didnt do his best which is the most important thing.

Answer 13

Remind him as long as he is trying his best he will always win pizza after the game. But if he cries and gives up then there is no reason to go and celebrate. Also try to teach sportsmanship,  if you play a game with him at home he has to give you a hug and say you did a good job. That way even though he is hurt he learns not to cry and pitch a fit. It's good to have some level of competitiveness, thats how you get the promotion, and great jobs with all the benefits.