My 5 yr. olds best friend is getting hearing aids. What do I tell him?

Question

She will be at school Monday with the new hearing aids. Do I mention them in advance?Say nothing since it's not a big deal really.. The mom seems a little upset. I just wonder if saying nothing is the best route where if I say something it will seem like it's a big deal...

Answer 1

Just let it go.  If it's an issue with your child, you'll hear about it since you seem to be a caring parent.  Saying something ahead of time seems to be making a bigger issue out of it than it may be to any body.  God Bless you.

Answer 2

what exactly do you need to say?  are you going to draw attention to the child.  children are often more forgiving and understanding than adults.

Answer 3

I would definitely tell him in advance.  I know I've told my son many things in advance, and told it in a "no big deal" way, and when he sees it, he notices but acts like it's not unusual.  Some examples are my grandmother's artificial leg that she likes to take off in the evenings, possibility of seeing naked people at a beach, what would be happening at a funeral.

I'd say something like "You know how your friend has trouble hearing sometimes?  Well she's getting things for her ears that will help her hear better".  Just say that in an "oh, by the way..." way, answer any questions he might have, then move on to something else.  If you act like it's no big deal, he will too.

Answer 4

How well do you know the mom? I am sure if she wants to talk to you about it she will mention it first. When your child gets home she might not even notice the difference. if she does ask then explain to her how neat it is that his Friend had a hard time hearing but now he doesn't because of the hearing aid.

Answer 5

You could handle this two ways, depending on the childs maturity level.  

At 5 years old children understand more than we think:

A.) You could leave it until the child comes home and asks questions or says something about it.  The child might not know what to think when seeing their friend with the hearing aids.

B.) You could explain to your son that the friend needs to have the hearing aids to help her hear, and explain what they might look like.  Also, explain how the child will not want to be made to feel different and give some advise on how to comfort the friend.

By choosing B I think that will ease the situation and make the hearing aids seem not so important, otherwise with A there might be some shock as to what is going on and what are the things in the friends ear.

Answer 6

My oldest daughter got cochlear implants and hearing aides when she was starting kindergarten.  She was so scared because she was afraid all the kids would make fun of her, they were use to her using sign language.  Just tell your child that his friend is getting a special gift that will help her hear better and that it isnt a big deal but she might be self conscious of it.  trust me it wont be but a few days and none of the kids will even notice them anymore.

Answer 7

Getting a hearing aid is no different than any other assistive device - glasses, for example.  Of course you tell your child in advance.  Explain that your child's friend has trouble hearing and now has hearing aids.  It's part of life and no big geal.

Answer 8

Well you don't want your son to pic on his friend  ( though he probably won't) all I can say is be there for the little girls mom become her friend if you aren't alredy thats pretty sad well thats all I have good luck

Answer 9

Mention it to your child and have a private chat to the Mother and comfort her as it seems like she needs that and tell her your child doesn't care and that should only matter as they are close friends.

Answer 10

Just wait until your child comes to you. It may be discussed at school. Children sometimes have a tendency to be inquisitive, so your daughter might ask her friend, whereby she'll get a response. Don't worry too much about it. If you try to tell her ahead of time, you might confuse her or worry her.

Answer 11

I think you should talk to you child and let him know what they do why the other child needs them and how they work.  Maybe talk to the others child's mom see how see would like it to be handled.  Maybe you can take you child to her house over the weekend and have him educated by both parents.

Answer 12

I work in the disabilities field.  I can tell you from expierence it is better that you tell them ahead of time.  Talk to your daughter, and let her know what's going on.  People think kids that young are too little to understand, but the child with the hearing aid will remember the other kids being uncomfortable.  Just be open and honest...that's the best way to go.

Answer 13

Let your child know what is happening and that it is not a big deal.  The friend will be worried enough about staring and teasing, let her best friend know ahead of time.  My children have always known about people who have disabilities, that they are not "weird" because of it, that they are just people.  Now between 4 kids, one has a best friend with hearing aids and speach problems (because of hearing), they are all friends with the neighbor who had a brain tumor and can't walk by herself, and a friend in a wheel chair.  Kids can be cruel, but can also look right passed it all.  Just let her know so it isn't a surprise, tell her that her friend had some trouble hearing, and the doctor is giving her these really cool things for her ears.  Not a 2 hour lecture, just a 1 min conversastion.

Answer 14

Do you and her mom have a relationship?  If so, then maybe all of you can go together to get her HA that they can both be involved and it will not be a big deal to her best friend.  You didn't mention whether your child was a boy or a girl so I'm gonna assume it's a boy becuz I have a son.  So anyway, your child will be prepared if another kid wants to make fun of his best friend.  He can learn how to defend the little guy (who so happens to be his BFF).  And they can remain friends thru thick and thin.

Answer 15

Hearing aids aren't the end of the world. She needs to go into the class and explain to the students what they are and what they do. If she treats it like it's no big deal, the kids will follow her lead.

When my daughter was 5 we found out she needed glasses because she was nearly legally blind. I cried for days, not because of her needing really thick glasses, but because she lived her entire life without seeing properly. As soon as she put them on and walked through the mall she started yelling and pointing at everything. She yelled, "MOM!! There is a Build-A-Bear over there!!!"

Her mom needs to get a grip and get over it. Her daughter NEEDS her to treat it like it is no big deal.

Answer 16

I would just say to your child that his/her friend is getting something in her ears to make her hear better and i would say they are gonna help her. and i would tell him not to comment on them.

Answer 17

Does your 5 year old know anyone who wears glasses? Just tell him they are like glasses for his friend's ears. And loads of people wear glasses (Harry Potter was a godsend for us when my 5 year old needed glasses).

Edit: Sherry, I have SO been there. Except in my case it was "Mummy, I can see a BIRD!" I nearly cried.

Answer 18

It's no different that getting glasses.

Mention it so your daughter won't be surprised, answer her questions honestly, but don't ignore it.

Answer 19

I would have a talk with him and explain that they just help her to hear better, and that she is no different than anyone else.  The shock of just seeing them could lead to an uncomfortable moment, but if he is prepared you will avoid that.