My 6 year old daughter is driving me crazy?

Question

I'm 27 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child and I'm struggling to cope as me and my husband are currently separated and my daughter is driving me up the wall from the second i pick her up from school she starts hitting me and her 3 year old brother and my son gets in to a right state about it and I'm not able to get her to stop misbehaving and i have had calls from the school about her hitting her class mates and even her teachers WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HER TO STOP I'm against smacking so no way am i doing that

Answer 1

You are going to have to be firm with her when you tell her to stop. And try time out if you dont believe in spankings. And try to take her stuff she likes to play with away if she hits you. And give it back when she does something good. Good Luck.

Answer 2

It's because her home is now broken and she doesn't know how else to vent her frustration. Take her to a child therapist who can help her deal with her frustrations in a better way.  

Answer 3

i'm no mother but please make sure u help her while she is younger

i have seen way to many children with no respect for others and its really sad to watch

a little spanking helps but its not that common anymore in England and it doesn't sound like your comfort zone

sorry i couldn't help more

Answer 4

Sounds like you need nanny911.

Answer 5

I think there is a lot going on in this little girl's life right now and she doesn't know how to deal with it or express her emotions.  Children at this age don't have the skills yet to do so, so instead of being able to talk about it, they act out.  

Between the family split, a new baby on the way, and school starting up, this little one is struggling with a host of issues.  Have you tried asking her about how she feels about the various things going on?  Helping her to verbalize some could be very helpful.  But since they don't have the language skills yet it can be hard, in which case drawing may be easier for her.  Have her make drawings about how she's feeling, or how she feels when she's angry, does the hitting, etc.  and then ask her about it when she's done.

I think having her talk to her school counselor is another excellent idea.  They have methods they can use to help discover and deal with things that are troubling little ones at various ages and stages.

Then, even though she may be dealing with emotional struggles she can't convey, it isn't out of the question to give her time-outs when she acts up.  Let her know what behaviors are not acceptable.  Discipline is not limited to spankings, and my daughter did pretty well with time-outs.  I always talked to her afterwards to be sure she understood what wasn't acceptable and why she received the time-out, as well as be sure she understood it was the BEHAVIOR/ACTION itself that wasn't acceptable, but that I still loved HER.

Our family just split as well, and I see my teenage daughter acting out now, too, even though she has the verbal skills to express things.  Although she knew this was coming for some time and was anxious to get out of our previous atmosphere, the reality now of the move to a smaller place and finding it necessary to get rid of massive amount of personal stuff is very hard on her.  As is the change in the financial situation.  We have our hands full being single moms, but we must be sensitive to what our children are going through.  Good luck.  

Answer 6

She is probably feeling insecure as her father is no longer there and she knows that you are having another child.  Just love her and reassure her as much as you can.  She can't express her emotions in the same way as adults do.  The things that are happening around her are out of her control and are not what she wants.

Answer 7

If she just started this, it is most likely because her parents just split up and she is in some ways jealous of your other two kids. You have to understand that it is very hard for her to cope with all of this. But she also has to understand that she is not the boss, you are. You need to sit her down and explain the situation so she can understand what exactly is going on. If you don't do something about this now then she can make your life's h**l.

Answer 8

Talk to the school counselor about the situation and have her go see him/her.

Answer 9

hmm maybe you should get her some consoling she is only young and her mum and dad are splitting up and she has no idea why the h**l its happening and its confusing her and she wont act like an adult or an older child about it because she is only young and i know it is hard for you and her brother and people at school but you have no keep calm and not lose your rag and yes don't smack her

Answer 10

DO you know, we have been to the zoo today, and it was so full of badly disaplined kids that we took our kids home! The manners of these kids were dreadful! You are going to have to find a form of disapline that works! Perhaps a couple of smacks may make her realise they hurt! Or take her favourite toys off her!  You are her parent and i know it is tough being alone looking after kids when pregnant, but you are in charge NOT HER! Either, talk to her, or smack her or take things off her! But she shouldn't go around smacking people! Your idea of not smacking obviously hasn't had the knock on effect of her not doing it!  by the way when my 13 yr old was 6 he had to deal with me divorcing his dad, moving in with his new stepdad, and me being pregnant! HE DIDN'T smack anyone! Talk to her and reassure her!

Answer 11

Have her talk to someone about it.  Maybe a teacher or a counselor at her school.  She is angry and upset that her dad doesnt live with her anymore.  And being so young, she doesnt know how to tell you, or anyone that she's upset.  Get her some help.  And in the mean time, you try to talk to her about why she keeps hitting and tell her its not okay to hit people, it hurts, etc.  Make sure she knows that you and dad still love her.  And even though he's not in the house anymore, he's still around to take care of her.

Answer 12

Punishment. Make her go to her room, make her sit in the corner. Smacking is against my rules too. But there are certain circumstances to where you need to do something. Spank her butt, it's not gonna hurt her.

Answer 13

your daughter needs counseling she is young and cat understand why mommy and daddy are not living together,

Have you ever thought she might blame her self,i have a 6 year old who has been through a traumatic year and she hits punches and until she had counseling we never really knew what was going on in her head