My 6 year old son seems too physically affectionate with me. Is this normal?

Question

My son seems to want to be physically affectionate with me almost the same way a partner might be. For example, we were watching a movie, and had pillows and blankets laid out on the floor. I laid down, and he immediately cuddled up next to me, put his arm across my chest, nuzzled his face against my neck, kissed me on the cheek, sometimes he will even try to wrap his leg around my leg. It makes me very uncomfortable. Sometimes I will tell him to stop because I tell him it's not comfortable for me, and he will get upset and say "but it's comfortable for me!" I don't know how to handle this without hurting his feelings even more. I think the occasional hug and kiss is just fine, but this seems excessive. Or, am I just totally crazy and is this normal behavior for a young boy? Help!

Answer 1

Normal!!!! Very normal.

Answer 2

I think its pretty normal..My 5 yr old son does the same thing..I mean if he's not doing anything that's inappropriate then totally fine! He just wants to show you some affection!

Answer 3

small kids love to be hug, kissed and cuddled, you are acting like he has the plague.

Answer 4

I think you should enjoy it while you can.  He will "grow up" and realize that snuggling with your mom is not cool and you will miss the closeness.  He's still a little boy.  Tell him if you're feeling suffocated or smothered, but don't insinuate that he's weird or that he shouldn't want to be so close to you-- you're his mommy, and as long as it's nothing overtly sexual, which I believe would definitely send up a red flag for abuse, then don't worry about it and enjoy it for what it is-- a little boy expressing love for his mom.  Many moms of boys would gladly deal with that "problem"!!!

Answer 5

i would just think that he wants to be handled and cuddled with ... I think its normal , im 20 y/o and still cuddle with my mom lol ,.But i've always been a mommy's girl ... I didnt move out til i was 19 ... She didn't kick me out , i just thought it was time i let some space between us .. But i still see her daily or as often as i can ...

Answer 6

You have to be very careful with this situaton.  First of all let me say that a child that age doesn't understand what s*x is all about.  But they learn things.  If you treat him like this is abnormal, he will grow up thinking he's abnormal.  If you push him away,it could effect him emotionally.

He's just loving his mom.  Treat it that way and that's all it will be.  When he gets upset because you tell him to stop, he's already feeling rejection.  Don't do that to him.  Just love him like the little boy he is.  He obviousely loves his mommy and needs you.  He just wants to be close to you.  As time goes by, if he starts to do different things, then act accordingly.  But I doubt you'll have that problem.

Now show that child some love.  Hold him and give him the security he needs.  Don't think of him as some kind of pervert.  There are a lot of mom's who wish they had your problem.  So relax and enjoy your son.  Good luck.

P.S.  When you've received all your answers, would you please choose one as the best answer?  I'm not asking you to choose mine unless it really is the best.  Just choose one.  Thank you and good luck.

Answer 7

It's normal. It has to do with the Oedipal Complex where a young boy will develop "intimate feelings" for his mother. It'll come to pass. I would say enjoy it while you can since he'll be an adolescent in a few years. And let's just say adolescents aren't quite as affectionate.

Answer 8

Totally normal... 6 year olds are facing a lot of changes (school, the deployment, etc.) but they're still needing the physical comfort of their moms to help them feel secure.  If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then find another physical act to make him feel loved that you don't associate with a partner.  .  For my son, I have him lay down across my lap and I tickle his back lightly with my fingertips.

Answer 9

I would think that its normal or he might have seen your partner doing stuff together and he just is coping that little kids always copy older people they see same thing with words they might not know what it means but they say it because you do sometimes.

Answer 10

My son is 10 and is still the same ...very physical wd me...nothing tht is uncomfy  at all...I keep setting boundries..have been doing so from the time he is 7 or so..He now reads my face and knows when to stop...Its kinda cool...No,he doesnt watch unnecessary stuff on TV..We are quite protective about his outlook to life and talk very openly to him on all subjects...better we clear his doubts rather than he learns elsewhere and gets confused..I have heard tht its quite normal for boys to be very attached to their mums...Once they reach puberty,I am sure they will be able to distinguish the meaning of touch and will definately stop heavy physical display with their moms...Enjoy these precious years ...time flies...I feel that I will miss all this cuddling in 2 or 3 yrs now.

Answer 11

sorry it is normal boys love thier mommas best and he is just showing it wait til he is 13 and rpetends you do not exsist

Answer 12

You should be happy and cherish this time, because in a few years, you're going to have to beg him just to acknowledge your existence, much less get a hug from him!

Answer 13

It's lovely! I am having a ten year old son and i cherish the moments when he hugs me and takes care of me the way I take care of him!

I think that you are seeing it from the wrong side! It's nothing sexual! I mean he is your son! He just loves you and really wants to show you his feelings! Would you prefer it if he was aggressive to you? Or if he cared for nothing? He is tender to you! Appreciate it!

Answer 14

don't worry this will stop he just need to learn other ways of being affectionate with you so just get him to stop say no when he feels affectionate with you just tell him other ways

Answer 15

Totally normal, in fact it's quite sweet. I guess it's what level of physical affection you're comfortable with. Is it a cultural thing for you?

Answer 16

You probably let him watch too much grown up TV or movies and he thinks that is the way a male of any age shows love to a woman. He has no frame of reference to know that it is for an adult man and woman to do that stuff -- not for sons and moms to do.

So...now that the bell cannot be unrung you do have the right to have boundaries in your relationship with your son (wow that sounds weird to say) and you can tell him that lying beside you to watch TV is okay but getting all over you is not what moms and kids do together.

When my five year old son crawls into bed with me ifhis dad is up late I let him put his head on my shoulder and he usually turns around so he is facing out. That way his back is against my side a little bit but we are not touching too much.  I did not institute this -- it happened naturally -- but I would have done so purposely if he had been over 3 and getting too touchy feely for my comfort zone.

Little boys do not always know their boundaries unless you tell them. When I was a teenager I had a boy of about four whom I was babysitting try to touch me between the legs because he did not know what it was like to not have a p***s. I simply redirected his attention. He was not a sicko -- only curious and had not been told it was wrong.

Answer 17

Normal....he is bonded with you and feels comfortable with you.  Both my boys are like that with me and also my mom.  It is all a comfort thing for them.

Answer 18

awwwwwww how sweet. enjoy it while you can soon when you want to kiss HIM on the chee he wont let you. he loves his momma! just tell him putting his legs over urs is not appropriate but youll always love him and still want a hug and a kiss every day

Answer 19

The issue is with you not your son. Ask yourself why do I feel this is inappropriate, majority of people would not even close to thinking the way you are.

  Why would you want to stifle your child's affections? How do think this would affect his Psyche? You may want to rethink your whole perspective on this, believe me your son IS NOT trying to hit on you.

Answer 20

my son is exactly the same. its really odd that he is also six. maybe it is the age...i dont know. but i think its totally weird and i feel very uncomfortable. i too make him quit. i tell him tho that he should not try to kiss me slowly or anything like that. ive went as far as explaining that it is how people who are married (boy/girl) act. but for some reason...i think hes not getting it lol. i think alot of the time im mean or maybe its me feeling weird about it since i had a bad experience as a child. but at the same time...it just doesnt feel right. idk what to do really. my hubby says it makes me seem cold hearted

=(

Answer 21

isn't it your job to teach appropriate touching??  instead of sexualize your son's affection, consider it a blessing.  it won't be long before he doesn't want to touch you.  model appropriate touching when you are with your partner.  teach him mutual respect and let the kid hug & kiss  you millions of times each day.

Answer 22

Hes just an affectionate boy!!! maybe its uncomfortable to you cause you dont know how to be affentionate with your own child. Has he ever seen you and your partner do anything sexual? he could just be doing what he see's men doing to you. I would only worry if he was  touching your genital area or kissing with tounge.

Answer 23

i think this is a little abnormal. but maybe it's just from things that he has witnessed in his young life and believes that is how he should act. try talking with him about it just try not to lose your temper that may cause emotional problems