My 7 year old daughter is just plain mean to her baby brother. What should I do?

Question

My kids are 7 years old (daughter) and 7 months old (son). My daughter has never been into babies... never played with baby dolls... and has always been uninterested in other ppls babies.. she maintains they are "gross". So I wasn't expecting a miracle when her bro was born, but she is just nasty. She ignores him when he smiles at her, refuses to play with him, doesn't say hi to him ever.. and today I asked her to sit with him when I ran upstairs (i rarely ask her for any assistance with him) and I saw her repeatedly swatting his hand away from a toy she was playing with. It wasn't enough to hurt him but it was aggressive and I got quite angry with her and sent her to bed at that moment. About an hour early.

I have done everything I can think of to ease her into the transition.. especially since she was an only child for so long. I make sure she spends lots of time with myself and daddy independently so that I can minimize the jealousy. She gets along with other kids just fine.

Answer 1

Your daughter hates the idea that she is not the sole center of the family any more, and obviously blames her brother. There is not too much you can do about this. Punishing her would make things worse (which of course doesn't mean that you should not tell her off or send her to her room when she hurts her brother), so all you can try is to be patient and to explain to her again and again that you don't love her any less than before, and that you enjoy spending time with her. You can also try to make her your partner in caring for the baby or ask her to teach him things (girls tend to love being teachers). Be prepared for more nasty scenes, but remember that most little boys have survived the horror of having a big sister, and expect things to get better as your daughter gets used to the new situation.

Answer 2

Your best bet is whenever you see her acting up around him either spank her or MAKE her take a time out.

I baby sit for some children and the mom told me if the older one acts up I should make him either have a time out or make him clean his room for 10 minutes.

Start with punishments then if she gets better instead of taking away lets say webkinz for a week... take it away for a day if she starts acting up then go back to stricter rules and punishments

Answer 3

she's only 7 wow imagine what will happen when she gets older, i think that you're probably not disiplining her enough she needs  agood spanking and learn how to be obediant to you then she will take you more serious when you tell her to take care of her little brother, and spanking doesn't mean that you're abusing her,  she sounds liek a very selfish spoiled brat and it'll get a lot worst when she gets older. i think you're being to soft on her you're oviously not putting your foot down, if that was my child i got get the belt and give her a good a** whipping

Answer 4

It sounds like a classic case of sibling rivelry and she's still at a very "me, me, me" stage.  I've seen my kids go through it, even my 9-year-old sometimes.

She may not be old enough for her brain to understand putting yourself in someone else's shoes (not all kids develop empathy skills at the same rate), but I am sure she is old enough to understand consequences. I would send a clear message to her, for example: If you hit your brother, you will lose your tv time for the day. It has to be a threat she'll take seriously and you absolutely must, without exception, follow through with it no matter how much she says she's sorry and won't do it again. If you give in, she'll never believe a threat you make again.

Answer 5

try telling her "you were a baby once too , how would you feel if someone did that to you?"

then just let them sort out their own problems , it will never fix if you keep seperating them , its putting fuel on fire!

every few das say something touching if she does something mean.

Answer 6

I think children that are so used to being the only child have trouble.  My oldest was 1 1/2 when his brother was born and loved him at first, until he found out that he was not just staying over for a few nights.  Then he too began to ignore him and showed no interest in him.  He cried when I held the baby and made sure that he was in my arms too.  When my youngest got old enough to crawl, his big brother would try to run over him with his trike (managed to a few times!) and then as the baby started learning to stand he would purposfully run as fast as he could at him and knock him over.  After a lot of punishing, he has finally got out of this stage and now enjoys his younger brother.  He'll yell for him to go play with him and they'll take off down the hall to their room.  Hopefully your daughter will come out of it too!  Though I do understand, it is hard when your children don't get along with each other.

Answer 7

My 8 year old daughter, used to do that to her then only 15 month old younger brother! Your daughter is suddenly, after so many years, sharing the "attention from her parents" with her little brother. It too shall pass you just need to be more patient. She is only "exploring his territory". I used to say to her : "Look at your lil brother, he "pooped" again in his diaper!" And giggle. Make her feel "important" and no matter how little the things she does for her "little brother", make a big deal out of it. It worked for me and now, she is extremely overprotective of her brother. I wish you good luck !

Answer 8

Beat dat ***...

Answer 9

well, tell her if she thinks babies are nasty she shouldn't have any. And if you thought a baby was nasty (which you obviously don't) tell her you wouldn't of had her. Its important she has a strong connection with him, otherwise this could be bad for both of their developments. Tell her,her role as a big sister is to teach him. And ofcourse there is always the "what if" method. What if when she gets older and needs little brothers help. or she needs him to do her a favor? If that doesn't work, tell her, her privledges are going to be suspended. And if you do tell her this, make sure you follow through with your deterrent.

Answer 10

You weren't expecting a miracle, and you didn't get one.

She doesn't like babies, some people and children are just like that.

Answer 11

maybe words will speak louder than actions this time.

try talking to her and telling her that later on her brother will come to help her and she will need to help him and have her try to think of them switching spaces and she'll see how he feels and stuff.

counseling isn't really necessary unless she tries HURTING him. she doesnt really seem jealous she just isn't into little kids i guess.

Answer 12

hey what i think you should do is take her to counseling our something...because she sounds evil hecka evil,so i think you should have a long talk to her