My 7 year old neice is acting out sexually and my husband and I decided to not have her come visit us....?

Question

this summer because we have 2 sons ages 8 and 4 1/2. I cannot watch her every moment of the day and night and recently she woke up and asked her older 1/2 brother to have s*x with her. We were worried that if we had her for a visit that something might happen with one of our boys (in the past she has gotten naked and encouraged my older boy to do the same) or that she might, if mad, make an accusation against my husband or I. We are full time students working towards our teaching degrees and don't want to risk our careers. My niece is in couseling now due to the insistence of her school after she pulled her skirt up and her underwear down at school. She has told boys at school that she wants to have s*x with them, she plays innapropriately with her Barbie and Ken dolls, she has been exposed to online pornography by typing in "dress up barbie" while using the internet unattended. Anyway, my sister and mother think we are overeacting...what do you think?

Answer 1

Sit down and talk to her

Answer 2

I think you have all the reason to not allow her over. I personally would of called DCS on them for not getting her help to begin with. Apparently the parents are doing a lot of things wrong here if she is acting like that, it's not normal for a girl her age to act in such a way.

Answer 3

You are right.  Some curiousity is normal, but what she is doing is not normal.  You don't need to expose your household to this.

Answer 4

I think you and your husband are right in that decision. Obviously your niece has been exposed to the wrong things at such a young age... and you need to do what is best for your sons, which is what you're doing! =)

Answer 5

If your niece is acting this way, it is a danger sign of abuse at home. Talk to your sister or sister in law about this.

Keep your boys, your husband, and her separated

Answer 6

No I actually agree with you there.  But sounds like your niece seriously needs counselling.  She might have been (or is being) molested by someone.  It happens all the time under people's noses.  She is only 7.  I sincerely doubt her seeing some inappropriate images by typing in 'dress up barbie' has turned her into this.

  I think you should get her parents to get her into counselling.

Answer 7

no, i think u guys are just doin whats safe for your family. her parents need to get her help

Answer 8

I think you're doing what you feel is best, so it most likely is best for you.  But I wonder where and when you've tried to act for her wellbeing, as well as your own immediate family's?  Also wonder how you will use this experience to learn how to deal with children in your future classrooms that you can't avoid or remove as easily you can your niece?

Answer 9

I think you are right with what you are doing. Stay strong.

Answer 10

Maybe what you could do is have occasional visits with her and her parents so that they are there to be responsible for her.

Answer 11

OMG!!! That's horrible. But you're doing the right thing.

Answer 12

Omg.. you really are not over reacting dont worry !

I completely understand how you must be feeling.. if shes like that she may try, like you said, and start introducing s*x to your two boys :l Which would be very wrong !

So yes i think your right.. stay strong and good luck :) x

Answer 13

not overeacting at all! as soon to be teachers, its a top priority to steer clear of sexual harassment and child abuse and stuff. and until she has had alot of counseling its just too much of a risk for you guys. in any other situation it would be different, but as teachers its a big deal

Answer 14

You are not over-reacting! Someone has taught this 7 year old these things.You have to protect yourselves and your children. Hopefully your sister will get to the bottom of this soon.

Answer 15

Wise, very wise. They may find her behavior acceptable but you have the right to protect your kids and careers. Now if your niece is allowed to view p**n on the Internet...shouldn't this be a concern? Too many red flags here...do something...

Answer 16

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get this child to help immediately...someone in her life is or has molested her and she needs professional help right away. This has nothing to do with her accidentally being exposed to online pornography, it is something she has experienced in real life.

If you do nothing, you could be aiding in the destruction of a young woman's life.

Answer 17

i think that the parents of this girl need to take her to talk with someone . and they need to try to figure out where she is getting these sexual vibs and if something has happened to her from someone like was she molested ? or anything . it is right for u not to have her around because it could ruin not only ur career but they could think u touched her in wrong places and arrest u and take ur children anything

Answer 18

You are NOT overreacting - you are being very, very smart about this situation. I'm happy to hear that she is in counselling - I think there is more to the story than just that she saw online pornography.

Answer 19

I feel sorry for the child. I would not have her up for a visit. I would see her when visiting her home, and make sure several people were present in the room at all times whenever any of your children or husband (and even yourself) were around.

Her behaviors indicate your decisions in this case. Anything you can do to encourage your sister to get out of denial and help her child would be great, but it isn't going to help anyone to take the child out of the mother's purview. If the mother is reluctant to deal with the situation, putting the girl 'out of sight' will only also put her 'out of mind' and delay any help the child might receive.

For example, she can't continue counseling while on an extended visit to your home. In addition, both parents and any other siblings should be included in treatment, as problems are often triggered by something in the home environment. These actions should be taken NOW, before her problems worsen with entering puberty.

I hope you refuse to provide an 'escape hatch' for your sister in this situation.

Answer 20

Keep doing what your doing!

Answer 21

thats not wrong not to invite her

Answer 22

I'd like to know if your niece was molested?

Answer 23

you're not over reacting its your house and you should decide who comes and who doesn't

Answer 24

If she you know why she is acting like this and she is in counseling then i think you should give her a second chance but make sure you tell her not to do sick stuff.

Answer 25

you are right

Answer 26

uh no u are definately not overreacting she definately has some problems

Answer 27

You are not over-reacting....you are being safe.  You should really get social services involved.  A 7 year old child does not act like that without having seen it or without being involved somehow.  Someone is abusing that child.  She's acting out and needs help!!

Answer 28

If she is only 7 you should be worried and keep an eye on her.  Most kids that age will only act that way if they have been sexually abused, molested or exposed to inappropriate things like adults having s*x in front of them or watching pornography with them.  It is extremely important she get counseling and you are not overreacting.  Somebody needs to find out what happened to her and help her get through it.

Answer 29

I think that you are doing the right thing. Counsling her might solve the problem or might not. DO NOT have her over because your DO NOT want any questionable marks on your record just in care she decide to make something up.   Hope this helps.

Answer 30

at first i thought you were completely over re-acting but i can see now where you're coming from. basically shes a hazard not only to your sons but to you and your husbands future career so yes avoid her going round your house if the little ***** cant control herself

Answer 31

i think ur doing the right thing. i wouldnt want my children to get the wrong idea. but seriously, that girl needs some professional help.