My 7 year old sometimes seems cynical and jaded by life surely this is not common?

Question

We took her to the theatre last night ,for a ballet and at the end of the performance she sarcastically said "well that was soooo interesting wasn't it".We have taken her to plays in London..trips all over abroad.. as well as letting her play with Barbies and read books .Have we burnt her out at such a young age. I only have the one and am not sure if this is a teen stage that is not in the text books....she has the attitude of pure ennui!!!!!

Please advice..thank you

Answer 1

She has seen this attitude from someone else.  It could be family, it could be peers or adults at school, it could be sitcoms on TV.  Kids this age tend to copy what they see.

Answer 2

I do not think the enriching experiences are the cause of the cynicism. It is likely that she is exposed to some one who has that type of attitude.

Assimiliation (or acclimation to a certain view point or perspective) is a common occurrence when you are around certain people. Unless you make a conscious effort to not fall into that trap. If you are around a negative person all the time - in type you will note that some of your outlooks or perspectives may change to the negative. That person continual views help to distort yours. One of my mentors used to state don't hang around negative people they tend to rub off on you.

Observe your surroundings or the surrounding that you child is within and identify the negative person (or the cynical person). Then you have one of two choices - get that person to change or refrain from their cynical viewpoints while in the presence of your child or limit your child's exposure to them.

Of course, I would sit down and ask my child why did she say certain things. A second question would be where did you get that term from - did you hear some one say it. That way you can find out the source of this cynical approach.

Answer 3

This is quite difficult.

I think your daughter is very privileged to have all these experiences.

At seven she probably thinks it is pretty normal for 'everyone' (apart from poor people) to have these experiences.

That is not meant as nasty, you cannot expect a seven year old to have extensive mature feelings about the world and other people's lives.

Here is a suggestion, when she has gone to bed, you and your husband spend the next 30 minutes on your knees and see the world form her perspective (so no TV) and read books for 7 year olds.

Then ask yourself are we introducing her to things that she is not ready for?

At 7 did you go and watch ballet and were you hoping to have a friend around for a sleep over and a midnight snack trying to read by torchlight without your parents knowing?

Kids have a great imagination are you allowing your daughter the chance to use hers? Or are you more concerned with 'exposing her' to everything?

I hope that doesn't sound mean. It is natural to want to give your child everything, but it isn't necessarily the best for them.

Answer 4

sounds pretty normal, kids can be really sarcastic, my Friends five year old talks like a jaded 45 year old sometimes. I wouldn't worry. Lets face it Ballet isnt sooooo interesting is it. Try Go karting she'll like that.

Answer 5

Ask her what she'd like to do. Theatre and Ballet is not every 7 year old's cup of tea.

Ballet doesn't turn me on either, but that doesn't mean to say that I don't have interests.

Answer 6

She sounds spoiled to me...also sounds like she is being overly exposed to things that most 7 year olds have no interest in. Take her to things 7 yr olds may be interested...or else you may be in for a very unappreciative teenager...have you seen My Super Sweet 16 on MTv?

Don't get me wrong if you have $ to do all the finer things, great, but balance it with kid things too.

Answer 7

It's not a big deal as long as she's not rude to other people or defiant. If she starts losing interest in everything or starts acting aggressive, then it can become a problem, and you should seek professional help.

Otherwise, it's not a big deal at all.

I've always been very sarcastic, partially because both of my parents are. It drove them crazy and they tried to nip it in the bud, but I stayed sarcastic. It didn't really do me any harm- I finished college, got a post-grad degree, a good job, friends, a husband.

Some people don't appreciate my sense of humor, but that's their problem. On the bright side, some of the best writers, journalists, and attorneys have a really sarcastic streak.

Answer 8

no, shes just been watching many programmes aimed at kids older then she is.

when she is older, her ability to control her emotions will be stronger, as you know, 4 year olds like to jump around furniture, 12 year olds also like to but dont as they have the ability to stop themselves.

Your daughter is experiencing all the emotions she would feel at her age, but trying to control her actions and words as she is "growing up too fast" and trying to act older then she is, it could be for many reasons: being around kids that are older then she is, watching tv programmes made for kids older then she is, reading many older magazines.... could be any number of things. She doesnt want to act on how exited or happy she may be feeling all the time as its deemed as immature by those groups or things she is newly into.

What she doesnt realise is that by doing this, she is actually makeing herself look more immature.

Answer 9

I agree, she is learning it from someone. My 8 year old is nothing like that at all!

Answer 10

Sitting down at a ballet is not fun for a 7 year old.  I have a 10 year old and I know she would be getting antsy after the first half, whether or not she found it interesting.

It is great that your daughter is exposed to so much culture, but is she really interested in it?

Answer 11

She is learning it from someone. If its not you, then its a teacher, or another adult friend she is around alot. SHe is just imitating them.

Answer 12

I could imagine a 7 year saying a ballet is boring...cuz they are.  

Kids that age aren't interested in seeing the world and going to plays.  Let her take ballet or gymnastics lessons, maybe she'll find an interest in it.  Maybe there's a sport she's interested in like soccer, cheerleading, or baseball.  Or maybe she likes to draw and do art.

Don't force her to be interested in the things you like.  Let her discover things on her own and find out what interests her.

Answer 13

take her to McDonald's and buy her a happy meal and let her play in the play center...  sounds to me like a teenager, let her be a child

Answer 14

I think she may have seen this behaviour from an older person and she aspires to be older herself (As all 7 year old girls secretly want to be "big girls")

I think she is feeling more grown up by acting like that but she has to understand it is rude. She may also be trying to actually be polite and the fact she didnt enjoy the ballet - she wanted you to think she did. Ask her what she wants to do and try to get her to form her own personality.

Answer 15

I think most are like that now at a young age they think it's alright to be like that as they see it all the time on childrens programmes.