My 7 year old son keeps soiling himself...?

Question

Im at my wits end, he is 7, (8 in a few months) and he keeps soiling himself, i think its because he keeps holding it in and has become constipated, i have read up a bit about it, it really smells aswell, but it is down to pure ziness, he has been doing it since he started school, but not in the winter months when he is in the house, its in the summer holidays when he is out playing all the time, i have tried grounding him, talking to him, shouting at him, praising him when he doesnt do it, star chanrts, presents if he doesnt do it for a week, but once the novelty has worn off he will do it again, its not every day he does it it may be once a week sometimes more sometimes less, i just need help in dealing with this as nothing working!!!

Answer 1

Maybe you could take him to a child psychologist. Maybe you should get him into sport and take is mind off those issues. May i suggest running, swimming or soccer?

hope it helps...

Answer 2

The problem with this venue is the lack of contact with parents. On the internet it is good to simply take the parent at her word. So the child (7) is healthy, popular, and lazy.

If this is the situation, I would send him to overnight camp. He will make new friends, have a different enviornment, and perhaps (because I assume from what you have written he has developed social skills) he will learn from other children of his own age.  They're harsh, but they get the point across. "Peer presure" is not always negative.

Also you may find that there is a glitch in your relationship with your son which allows this behavior to continue. short-term seperation from parent occasionally helps adjustment.

I agree with the poster who said "no shrink" costs too much money, and my experience has been that with this "problem" results are often negative.

Answer 3

If you are sure that it is just laziness, if you have had him checked medically, you could try something that works well for me.

My son is also 7. He doesn't soil himself but if he's playing outside he will go wherever he is to save the hassle of going inside.

Whenever the kids do something they should know better about, I tell them they must have forgotten how, so they need to practise. (I got this from a great book called Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking, really recommend it!)

So if they pee or p**p outside, they must have forgotten how to go to the toilet. They must practise 5 times.

Start outside, come in to the toilet, pull down pants, sit/stand at toilet as appropriate, put pants back on. Back outside. That's one practise. Now do 4 more.

You need to stay calm, your attitude is that you are helping him learn how, not that you are punishing him. If it is pure laziness motivating him, and he has to go thru 5 practises every single time he messes up, he will soon work out that it's harder to do it wrong than to do it right.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Hi.  I would agree with both the previous comments that there could either be something physically wrong with him, or there could be something that may require someone such as a shrink, but first I was just wondering a few things.  What does he tell you his reasons are for not going to the toilet when it happens???  Have you spoken to his teacher since this started when he started school???  Does he have any other regular complaints  from bullying, to school work, to friends, to headaches, tummy aches etc???  Just thinking all these little details could be little pieces of a puzzle...  On the other hand, if you really do feel that it is laziness, have you tried things like getting him to clean himself up with nappy wipes etc?  this could be  a bit of a deterent if it does just come down to laziness... Just some suggestions, and good luck.

Answer 5

he can't go outside until he has "taken care of his business".

Answer 6

No child of reasoning age wants to soil him/her self. This is not something that you should be getting upset at him for. A lot of people will tell you that your son is most likely acting out. Please, before you take him to see a shrink, take him to a doctor. It's probably something that physically wrong with him. The most common cause is lactose intolerance. When a child has this (very) common problem, it is usually much harder for the child to make it to the bathroom in time at places outside of the home. Think back for a bit, does it usually happen when he's not close to a bathroom? Does he seem scared to let you know when it's happened? Is he embarrassed by what is going on? It is very important how you handle this. I had a close friend who's mother believed that her middle son was just lazy and would get very upset with him. He, on his own, discovered that it was happening whenever he had any kind of dairy. To this day he really resents his mother. Please, don't make the same mistake that she did - I've seen how strong the resentment can be.

I hope this helps you and that you and your son get through this together.

Answer 7

I would try to get him regular by having him sit on the toilet at regular times during the day and try to go. If he has a normal time a day he tends to go most I would have him sit on the toilet for about 10 minutes and try to go around that time every day. maybe try for 5 min about 30 min after each meal as well. If you get him onto the toilet he may just go then. This would be better then just waiting for him to have to go and knowing he won't tell you. This way at least you might catch it at the right time and then you can praise him for going in the toilet. Make sure he drinks lots of water so he doesn't get constipated.

I don't think punishments or charts will help. I think you just need to get him sitting on the toilet at regular times and he will probably go. It's possible he just doesn't want to take the time out to go so by doing like I said you are not giving him the option to do that and he will just go.

Also your child could have something called encopresis which is a medical condition that is a result of holding it. Here is more info about it

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sic...

good luck.

Answer 8

I'm having the SAME problem with my 7 year old...I've taken him to 4 different doctors/psychiatrists...he has another appointment on the 22 of August...with a childrens specialist...we believe its called Encopresis...read up on it...good luck, update on how it goes:)  You could also email me or talk to me on yahoo if you need someoen to talk to that can relate, its misery_poe :)

Answer 9

He is old enough to understand.  when you ask him why he does it what does he say?

you can tell him that he needs to go to the bathroom more frequently and if he has to go then go or tell someone otherwise tell him you will put him in diapers.

I know it sounds harsh but my daughter kept wetting herself and we tried everything and thats what worked. Never had to buy them!