My 7 year old was "playing husband and wife" with her lil friend! What should I do?

Question

My daughter is 7,she has 2 sisters 10 and 12. They dont watch TV,are VERY sheltered and yet she went to her friends house and her mom caught them playing hubby and wife!! I am freaked out. They were on top of each other. Im not sure how to address this. I had a long talk with her and told her how unacceptable this was and she knows not to do anything where private parts are involved. What would you do? We grounded the girls a month and she and I had a long talk. What would you do???

Answer 1

I used to play husband and wife with my guy friend when i was little, we had a pretend wedding and everything, shes young and she'll forget she ever did this. Trust me right now shes not thinking about having s*x, shes just doing what she thinks boys and girls are supposed to do,adress that thats what mommy and daddy do, not her and the boy. :)

good luck

Answer 2

Yikes.  I think you over-reacted.  s*x isn't always a learned behavior, especially when it's just the curiosity side she's portraying.  I think talking to her is the best way to go, but I would lift the grounding.  Keep an open dialog when it comes to s*x...  or you may end up with a pregnant 12 year old.  I mean, if your 7 year old is playing these games, what makes you assume your 12 year old isn't?

Best of luck.

Answer 3

its so natural to do this at that age. i still remember when i used to do this when i was little. its just mockery of what the children see every day and its normal for kids to want to "grow up" or be older. and this is the only way they can satisfy this urge. just like little girls love to play "mommy" with their baby dolls

Answer 4

Grounding your daughter is too harsh and unwarranted, not to mention downright wrong.  Just discuss with your daughter what is deemed appropriate and what isn't.

Children of that age ALL experiment as "mommy and daddy."  It's just a form of mental development.  To you it was sexual, but to a seven year old, it was play-time and innocent.  While it's definitely not acceptable to be promiscuous, your daughter will have serious mental repercussions as an adult if you keep on with the attitude you have.

Answer 5

You are overreacting. Every kid does this. And usually it's with the same s*x because of probability, most of their friends are the same s*x. Calm down. I know YOU played husband and wife. Did YOU get yelled at? Maybe you don't remember doing it, but I'm sure you did.

What the h**l is wrong with parents today? Grounding a 7 year old for doing something that every child known to man has done since the beginning of time? Please, don't have anymore children.

Answer 6

Children that young can be curious about their sexuality. Instead of "punishing" them  its a good idea for a parent to explain to their kids about where do babies come from. This should come ONLY from a loving parent.    

  

Answer 7

Don't ground her! She didn't do anything wrong she was just having fun.  Did you forget how it was being a child? You don't think about s*x at 7 years old.

Answer 8

DONT SWEAT IT. she doesnt understand what shes doing wrong, you basically just punished your seven-year-old for playing. its a bit harsh (no offense) but you should just let her be and think what she wants but just make sure you tell her where to draw the line with 'playing'.

Answer 9

i think that you are being over the top. all children at some stage will play this game, it all part of growing up its called role play and all children do it. it is normal.

Answer 10

Dont freak out because she will not want to talk to you when she has a real problem. Explain thats what married people do and leave it at that. Overreacting might cause more problems than what you saw. Keep in mind that what you saw IS normal. Most kids play house.

Answer 11

A month seems kind of harsh... Maybe ground her about 2 weeks and have a very serious talk. This isn't something 7 year olds should know how to do.. I have a 22mo , 5 year , 7 year, and 8 year that are all girls and I'm hoping they don't know "that stuff" yet.

But besides all that, you can't learn from mistakes until you make them....

Answer 12

It is perfectly normal, instead of grounding her, just remind her that noone needs to see her naked. Her body is her own and while she is curious, she needs to come and ask you and her dad questions. Next time she goes to that friends house, make sure that the other mother does not let them play alone for long periods of time, and do not close the door.

My son and his cousin were exploring each other; my sister and I explained to the boys that their parts are for their eyes only. They grew out of it.

Answer 13

well u did great i think having that talk with her but make sure she understands you and not just saying "oh i wont do it again" just so u can stop being mad at her

Answer 14

shes a little kid, she probably didnt know what she was doing, talk to her about it, other than that there is not much u can do, dont be so harsh

Answer 15

What your daughter did was perfectly normal and natural and an expected part of development.  It is natural curiosity to even want to see and touch the genitals of other children.  Certainly, you did the right thing by talking to her about it but now, let it go.  The more emphasis you put on something, the more intriguing it becomes to a child.  The human body itself should not be made taboo.  What is done with it, is trickier when addressing the issue with children.  The fact that she does not watch much TV and as you say, is "very sheltered", gives credence to the fact that it is innate curiosity.  Just keep an ear and an eye open.    

Answer 16

that is a bit harsh grounding them. i would talk to her and say there will be consiquencesif she does it again hope that helps it works on my children that way they are too scared to do it again.  

Answer 17

i think you're over reacting, i'd leave the punishment now, but seriously, if you freak out like that it would only increase her curiosity about it...  

Answer 18

no tv she learned the behavior some where . lighten up you have done enough by speaking to her

Answer 19

I don't think grounding them is the answer. While you don't approve of her behavior now, you don't to traumatize her by making her afraid of it her entire life. Calmly explaining it was definitely a good plan. If it was my situation, I would have done just that: calmly explaining that it is inappropriate, and something adults do. I would continue to let them play together, but for a while, keep a watchful eye on them. Have them play in the kitchen where you are, or right in the next room where you can hear everything. Good luck.

Answer 20

Kids do this kind of stuff all the time, honestly. Their parents are their role models and if they see their parents or even another adult doing something (doesn't mean your daughter did, could have been the other one) then they'll want to do it too. It's only natural.

Obviously they didn't understand what they were doing. You had a talk with them to make them understand, now leave it at that. I think the grounding is a bit extreme. If she does it again, then you can ground her because you already told her not to do it. But she didn't know any better, so don't use that extreme a punishment - just take away a stuffed animal or a doll or something, that's what my mom used to do to me and then when I was good she would give it back.

Answer 21

chill out she is 7, dont be so harsh kids will be kids she didnt know what she was doing, as long as you have had a chat with her its fine, all she needed was someone to tell her what she was doing isnt right, she isnt going to do it again now

so dont ground her thats so so evil

Answer 22

i wouldn't make to much out of it .its part of groing up .it will be forgotten  and something else will take its place to them its just a giggle.trust me .i worked with children for a long time it crops up a lot.

Answer 23

Just talk to her and stop being so protective, no need to ground when someone is curious!

Answer 24

Honestly, I think the grounding was unnecessary.  Some curiosity about s*x is very understandable and NORMAL.  Telling her it was inappropriate is fine, but talk to her in a manner that she can ask her questions in a safe and non-judgemental manner.

When your daughter is 16 and is thinking about having s*x, you don't want her to be afraid to come talk to you!  

Answer 25

i think your actions were correct. your daughter may live a sheltered life but who knows what he friends are learning and then showing it to her ! i would limit her play time with that friend....like say only at your home where u can watch the two.

Answer 26

You are obviously a very good parent consulting others but from the details you gave, the little boy she was playing with must have know more then your daughter. You may want to have a talk with the little boy's parents and see if he is being exposed to a "mature" Lifestyle. And if that is tha case you may not want to exposer your daughter to that. You seem like youre doing a perfectly fine job as a parent and good luck!

Answer 27

Lol, when I was 7, I used to play hubby & wife with the neighbor's kid.

I told my dad (coz I couldn't keep my mouth shut), and he was shocked so he told my mom. I think what my mom did was watched us everytime he came over and never left us to be alone in the room together. No punishment involved.

Answer 28

it sounds to me like she was just playing a little game with her friend

a lot of kids play family and house and stuff with their friends and i don't think she was being bad at all. i think you were too strict because it is normal behavior for little kids to play games where they are married. they probably werent going to do anything. i might talk to her but i would not ground her

Answer 29

That is completely normal! Don't be so freaked out. When I was 5, I was caught playing "pregnant lady"  with a friend of mine . We were caught while he was trying to get the baby out haha. I still remember it to this day! And hey, I turned out to be a fine adult.

Answer 30

This is difficult as they probably are too young to understand what they were doing. They will both probably be horrified when you tell this story to them when they are in their teens!

I would suggest trying to keep it in perspective - you have talked to them. I am not sure that the one month grounding is proportionate. I can assure you that as they get older and present you with other problems/concerns, this will pale in importance. It's similar to when youngsters tell dirty jokes and laugh at the punchline when they really have no idea what it means!

I hope that helps.

Answer 31

Ouch. well I would guess she has a crush???? but i guess she is just kinda i don't know cause I'm only 12 but just tell her the bees and flower story or ( s*x story) make it suitable for a 7 year old maybe she'll get it.

GOOD LUCK.