My 8 month old daughter refuses to be fed she only wants finger food that she controls?

Question

I can't even put finger food in her mouth, she takes it from me! Do I indulge this independence as a faze? Or should I take control?

She has a normal appetite and used to love her cereal and then purees. I never had a problem with her appetite, but now I'm on edge because she obviously gags sometimes on bigger pieces. Funny bit is, she gets outraged when I try to remove bigger pieces!

Answer 1

your baby is fine.

she is absolutely normal.

make sure you give her a balanced diet for each meal with small sized pieces of fruit, vegetables and meat.  also make sure you watch her eat for safety. if she chokes, who give a flying *** if she fusses. you are the mom and it is your job to take over and save her life or make sure she is comfortable.

Answer 2

and?  She is ready, mommy.  Let her eat her foods.  Just make sure they are not big before she gets them.

Answer 3

This is perfectly normal.  Let her eat it her way.  Put a shower curtain or sheet under her highchair to ease the cleanup.  Also, let her eat in just her diaper.  That way you can just pop her in the tub when she is done.  :)

Answer 4

Let her feed herself!

There's no harm in it.  Don't worry, she won't choke on the big pieces.

We did purees for about a week in my house when my little one was 6 months... he didn't like them in the least bit.  Ever since then, we've done baby led weaning.  He eats what we eat.  I steam veggies and let him gnaw on them.  I cut fruit into sticks and let him go at it.

Answer 5

lol let her do it herself. she's independent, thats a good thing :). just make sure that you keep an eye on her while shes eating to make sure she doesnt put too much in her mouth and chock

Answer 6

i'd take this as a blessing in disguise. my 2 1/2 yr old still gets lazy to a point where i have to put the fork to his mouth occasionally. just make sure the bits aren't big enough to choke on and sit with her. or  teach her how to bite to make smaller bits, so you're still in control, but in a guiding way rather than a 'doing' way.

sounds like you have a very head-strong young lady there, good luck.x

Answer 7

Yes my son is the same at fourteen months.  I found it easier giving him a spoon/fork to feed himself.  It might be that she just wants more substantial food and likes to be in control.  As long as she is eating healthy foods, let her get on with it.  She will come around eventually, just try the fork/spoon thing, it'll be messy but she might feel more comfortable trying to feed the sloppy stuff herself!!

Answer 8

Your baby is supposed to feed themselves?  Do you want to be feeding her forever?

Let her learn to feed herself at her own pace, and learn to chew at her own pace.  Gagging isn't choking.

http://www.borstvoeding.com/voedselintro...

Won't he choke?

Many parents worry about babies choking. However, there is good reason to believe that babies are at less risk of choking if they are in control of what goes into their mouth than if they are spoon fed. This is because babies are not capable of intentionally moving food to the back of their throats until after they have developed the ability to chew. And they do not develop the ability to chew until after they have developed the ability to reach out and grab things. The ability to pick up very small things develops later still. Thus, a very young baby cannot easily put himself at risk because he cannot get small pieces of food into his mouth. Spoon feeding, by contrast, encourages the baby to suck the food straight to the back of his mouth, potentially making choking more likely.

It appears that a baby's general development keeps pace with the development of his ability to manage food in his mouth, and to digest it. A baby who is struggling to get food into his mouth is probably not quite ready to eat it. It is important to resist the temptation to 'help' the baby in these circumstances since his own developmental abilities are what ensure that the transition to solid foods takes place at the right pace for him, while keeping the risk of choking to a minimum.

Tipping a baby backwards or lying him down to feed him solid foods is dangerous. A baby who is handling food should always be supported in an upright position. This ensures that food that he is not yet able to swallow, or does not wish to swallow, will fall forward out of his mouth.

Answer 9

A phase? What, you think you'll be feeding her when she's five?

No, you let her do everything for herself that she possibly can. If she can feed herself now...then you never feed her again. It's called growing up.

And bigger pieces are safer, provided she's not trying to swallow them whole. She's far more likely to choke on little pieces that she thinks she doesn't need to chew.

Answer 10

Let her control this task.  Make sure the food is cut into small pieces so she wont gag and leave her to eat what she wants.  I was raised this way with no purees and I think it is best.  You want your child to become independent.  Have patience and teach and encourage her independence.  

Answer 11

Just cut the food into small pieces and let her feed herself. She will be fine. If you get edgy your little girl will pick up on it. Give her a spoon and let her get on with it, you can keep an eye on her from a distance. Put a large washable plastic sheet on the floor under her highchair, then if she makes a mess which she will, it will be easier to clean. It is quite cute when they start to feed themselves and get full of food.

UK based Mum

Answer 12

it's absolutely normal! she's ready to try new things, maybe some fruit and toast in the morning, and more solid foods for lunch and dinner too. if you let her hold a spoon and eat your own meals around her, she will soon pick up on how to feed herself too! good luck

Answer 13

Its not a phase its her growing up. Try giving her her cereal still just give her the spoon its how she learns to feed herself, she might make a mess but its what they do.

Answer 14

Ha!  This sounds exactly like my daughter at 8 months!  She went on what I called a "spoon strike" and refused to eat anything off a spoon except yoghurt. The rest of the time she just had finger foods.  It drove me mad as each meal took about an hour!  Luckily she appears to have grown out of it now.  She still has finger foods for lunch and sometimes toast for breakfast but she is happy to have a meal from a spoon for dinner. I think your daughter is just asserting her independence.  Let her get on with it for now and she should accept a spoon again soon. A tip that worked with my daughter was giving her her own spoon to hold while I fed her.  Good luck!

Um, why the thumbs down?????

Answer 15

let her feed herself, just make sure that you break up everything so that its small enough so that she does not choke on it.

Answer 16

Just let her get on with it, she won't starve herself. Make sure everything is small enough and let her learn new things :)

Answer 17

"Should you take control"  NO.  Let her feed herself.  There should be no "control" in feeding.  Let her eat foods that she can pick up herself and put into her mouth.  There are a ton of foods she can feed herself....steamed or roasted veggies, fruits, chicken, whole grain breads and pitas,hummus or yogurt to *dip* the breads, etc in.

Don't hold her back by spoon feeding her.  Let her feed herself and explore her food.  Trust me, you will be much happier in the long run when you have a toddler who will eat almost anything anywhere because she was allowed to feed herself!

See:http://babyledweaning.blogware.com/