My 8-year old daughter is having a hard time making friends.?

Question

My daughter is a very sweet and caring little girl but for some reason the kids in her class are mean to her (not only she is complaining but her teacher recognized this problem also). I have put her in several activities in the school but still noone wants to play with her or anything. Please help I am really running out of ideas.

Answer 1

As a parent I really feel so sad for you and your young daughter. You know what, I just feel that you have already spent heavily trying to remedy the situation by putting her on different activities and the like. Be her best friend, make her realise she still has someone who really cares about her. Get her a personal pet to help her. From my point I just feel life is not about trying to fit-in all the time, try it several times, if rejected maybe apply a new strategy to win them over to your side. I also suggest you concentrate on her strong and positive things that she is really good at either as sport, hobby or academic or anything. With consistent practice she will win some friends over either in math class, science etc or dancing (when the friend needs some help on a topic, dance move etc)

Once more I share your pain and sorry if I spoke anything offensive.

Answer 2

My daughter was the same.  She was shy and not very outgoing. Then we involved her in an activity that had nothing to do with school.  She started competetive cheerleading. She LOVES it.  Not only that, but she was able to make friends in a different setting rather than school.  She is still quiet and reserved at school and has a few friends, but she loves her cheer friends since they all have that in common.  They have play dates and sleep overs and so on.

Try putting her in an after school activity that is not associated with her school.  This puts her in a different environment and she may behave totally different. Talk to your daughter about making friends, ask her what her ideal friend is and how she might go about making friends with that type of person.  Ask her who she would most like to be friends with in her class and talk about why.  Talk about how she might be able to become that persons friend.  Have a party and invite the girls over for something special, maybe a movie night at your house so you can ablserve how all of the children play together.  

Last, but not least, keep your chin up!

Answer 3

Have her teacher talk to the class and explain about friendship and respect for others.The teacher should choose a child each day to be her buddy for the day so that way the buddies get to know your child one on one.Good luck!

Answer 4

What about putting her in activities outside of school? Try a sport or lesson that does not involve her classmates. Most of my daughters friends are from Girl Scouts (none of them go to her school) and soccer (only 2 go to her school - but she met them before she started going to school). It won't help her problems in school, but it may allow her to make some friends and have her feel better about herself.

Answer 5

I had to deal with it too in grade school-maybe she could be moved to a different classroom or even a new school?/my mom had me go to church to make new friends & that worked for me as a child.-good luck.

Answer 6

put her in girl scouts, sports, i suggests places outside school. im a teen and had problems making friends in elementary school as well. i didnt do anything to try to make friends, eventually i just found the right people.

what dies she like. music, sports, singing, dancing?

find a place where she will be with people with common interest.

good luck, and trust me, it will work out just because she has people in her life who love her..

Answer 7

well, i'm sorry, but there's nothing anyone can do to change that.

Answer 8

If the children continue to bullie her than the teacher and the school arn't doing enough to punish these children so I would definately address the school board on that. As for friends, that will come in time just remember to let your child know that 1 good friend is better than 10 bad ones.

Answer 9

I really like Mom Of 4's ideas. I really agree that the school counselor needs to get involved. She may be able to get some insight into what might be going on in the classroom.  Also, when I worked in an elementary school, the counselor would do "friendship groups" for kids who were having  a hard time making friends too.

What are her hobbies? Maybe getting her involved in groups that have other kids outside of her school might be helpful.

Good luck. I hope things get better for your daughter!

Answer 10

make her look cool n not geeky

Answer 11

A couple things to try:

-- ask the school counselor to sit in on her class and recess (she doesn't have to let the kids know why she's there) and give you some input on what is causing the problem.  it's useful to know if there's a bully leading this kind of behavior; it's also useful to know if your daughter could use some social coaching or other tips;

-- ask the teacher who would make a promising friend for your daughter and ask if they could be seated near each other at school.  see if you can arrange a couple of playdates with that kid.  sometimes kids do better one on one, and that can lead to a better relationship and situation at school, too.

-- try putting her in activities outside school with an entirely different group of kids.  it may boost her confidence and give her some social practice that she can then apply at school.

-- talk to your daughter about dealing with mean behavior (and make sure she knows to tell a grownup if there's behavior she can't handle on her own).