My 8 year old son is having a really bad time since i started working, what can i do?

Question

My 8 year old son has always been lovely, but since i started working last month, he is a nightmare.

He is full of attitude, and is REALLY nasty to me and his 4 year old brother.

What can i do to make him feel better, and get him to behave!?

Answer 1

goodluck

Answer 2

Get your Dad or brother or b/f or male next door neighbour to give him a good walloping.

Have him explain that Mum needs to work and that you need him to cooperate. If he's old enough to be looking up women's skirts then he's old enough to understand your position and you have a right to expect almost adult behaviour from him.

Answer 3

I find that a good slap around the head works well. Be strict and don't back down, explain that the consequences of his actions may be pain and make it pain if that is what he chooses.

Just like training a dog really.

Answer 4

I know most people wont agree with me, but i would sacrifice the extra money and stay at home with my son. I am a single mother also, but i found on a smart budget, we never go without and we have plenty of creature comforts too. I think a child should be cared for by a loving parent, as we lost his father when he was a baby there's no way i'd give him less of me so i could earn more money. It can be tough financially sometimes, but there's many other things i would sacrifice first before sacrificing my son coming home to a loving mother. I dont understand mothers that have a child and put them straight into fulltime childcare at 6 weeks. (i know thats not you, just a more extreme example).

Answer 5

He is trying to get your attention. I am a single Mom, so I know how it is.

After you put your 4 year old to bed, take 10-15 min that is yours, first talk about how he feels, talk it out with him. Make it a routine, read, talk, something for the 2 of you.

Try not to get involved in a lot of money talk, kids find a way to believe everything is there fault.  

Answer 6

Maybe try and arrange a special playdate with him on the weekend or when your free with just him and  do some sort of activity that he may enjoy doing. He may be getting stroppy because he wants you to spend more time with him considering he is not seeing you as much as he use to.

Answer 7

Hello,

Wow, that's the same ages of my son's (8 & 4).  Is your 8yr old starting 3rd Grade soon?  The reason I ask is that perhaps since its late summer and school is about to start, that maybe part of it, is boredom.  I also think he resents that your working and not with him during the day, but have you sat him down to explain that Mommy needs to work?  I'm just assuming things without asking.  Are you a single mother (divorced)?  Or, you just working to help the family income?  I should have read more of your posts to find out, but I figured I'd ask.  I have the exact opposite issue where my 4yr old is the one that acts out and the 8yr old is an angel (we'll, most of the time - LOL).  

Its never easy.  If things continue this way and nothing is getting better, you might need to talk to the school psychologist and have him seek counseling to talk through his issues/fears.  Its not uncommon for kids to go through these insecurities and I know as a parent, its very frustruating.    

Answer 8

The most important thing you can do is talk to him, and really listen. Try and find out why his behaviour has deteriorated so you can find a solution. Set aside time every evening to spend quality time without interruptions doing something that each of your boys would enjoy, and don't miss it for anything.  

Answer 9

Maybe you should get him a really nice, funny, and smart babysitter, and he won't be able to WAIT till you go to work!!!

Answer 10

at 8 he should be in 2nd or 3rd grade..these kids have a lot of homework

what are your hours...do you spend time with him to do homework etc....spending time together does not mean sitting acoss the table and gazing into each others eyes...you can be with him when he is playing on tv by quietly cleaning up his room and saying something as you dust...as for nasty attitude...mebbe it comes from peers....but gently let him know ..shouting or talking back is not  the right way to get things done..hopefully its a phase that h**l get over...by the way how was he before u worked and what did you do with them then...think about times before work and since work started..ur clue is there

Answer 11

He is rebelling so you notice him more. He probably feels abandonded and mants any kind of attention from his mommy. Try to spend more time with your kids doing individual things, check their homework, and make them feel special.

Answer 12

Aw, I think your son may be missing you. I know when my mum started working night shift, we all really missed her and my little sister acted in the same way. Spend some more time with him and praise him loads for good behaviour but don't pay too much attention to him when he is misbehaving. That might help. Hope everything works out for you :)