My 8 year old son still sleeps with me?

Question

I have a 8 year old son who goes to bed on his own and falls asleep on his own, but at 1:00 a.m. he will go on my bed, I tried to put him back on his bed but he can't go to sleep again and he gets mad any ideas?

Answer 1

Maybe he is having nightmares. Maybe you could try a night light or leaving his door open a bit. I would not make him start start sleeping on his own cold turkey. It is obviously an attachment that took time to form, so I would think it would take time for him to get over.It is a kind of security blanket to know mom is right there beside him when he wakes up. It may be inconvenient for you for a time, but if he wakes up ever night at a certain time I would set the alarm so you can go in his room and sooth him around that time.

Answer 2

My brother is 17 and he still does it every once in awhile....if you dont want him to you have to break it now....cause my mom tried and he is still doin it now.......

Answer 3

lock your door,  hes 8 he will live. mom and dad finally had to lock their door to keep my sister out at TWELVE. i never allowed my kids to get started sleeping in my bed so i didnt have to nip this particular problem.  

(i can see the co-sleepers clicking the thumbs down button already lol)

Answer 4

let him get mad, should have never been in your bed in the first place.  one time is all it takes.  let him go to school nice and tired and keep him busy when he gets home and he will be glad to go to sleep.

Answer 5

I did that until I was about 9.

Answer 6

My daughter used to do that too.  Eventually it's like a little alarm clock inside that wakes them up anyway.

You have to walk him back to his bed and stay with him until he does fall asleep and then leave.  What makes this hard is that you're probably so tiered too, but if you don't he'll just keep doing it.  the first week you'll be exhausted and so will he, but eventually it just works.  

Also, many of you will disagree with this but, it worked for me.  I used to give her a prize in the beginning for getting through one whole night without needing me then for a week etc.  It may be wrong to reward the behavior, but I now sleep without her and she sleeps without trouble.

Answer 7

lock your door at night for a bit, and let him be angry..tell him he is too old to be sleeping with mom and dad, only babies do that.

My parents did a reward system for me when I was a kid because I had ADD (still do) and had trouble getting to sleep so i'd go in there...but they started giving me stickers every night I stayed in my own room..> i had a sticker book so it worked for me....perhaps something like that would work for your son? Like if he enjoys matchbox cars, perhaps get him a new car at the end of the week if he stays in his own bed all night...rewards can really work so long as they are not used in a controlling way. Stay away from unhealthy rewards like candy though. :P

hope that helps! :)

Answer 8

Oh you are stuck. I would do this to my parents until I was 11-12.

My daughter started this when she was 4 and no matter how mad she got or how little sleep she got I would not let her stay in my bed.

Explain to him before he goes to bed that this is what is going to happen so that he is aware and do it until he stops. Offer him a reward like a special breakfast for not coming to your bed. The sooner you start enforcing it the better you will be.

*edit*

Don't forget the talk and make yourself clear but also don't let him think he is never to come to you in the night. Make sure he knows that if he is sick or there is some other kind of emergency that it is ok to wake you.

Answer 9

Let him get mad! With persistence you will eventually be able to change this immature behavior and unhealthy connection.

Answer 10

I was recently talking to my now grown son about when he used to get up at night and come to my room. He finally told me why...he got cold and my bed had more blankets.

Maybe your son just needs another blanket on his bed.

Answer 11

stick with it went throught it last year with my 7 yr old tell him no go back to your bed your a big boy we got him a dog to sleep with at night that helped now the puppy sleeps sometimes in the house other nights she dont but he sleeps in his bed stay firm dont give in make sure he dont see you feel bad it makes it worse stick to it mom you get through to him just be patient

Answer 12

okay what you do is when you take him back into his bed lay there with him until he either falls asleep or is off in a daze where he wont realize what is going on around him...then get up and go back to your room...i used to have to do this all the time and it worked every night. if he wakes up when you get up, keep walking...if he says anything tell him you will be right back...you might feel bad because you are lying but soon enough he will learn to sleep by himself.

hope it helps... :]]

Answer 13

Oh, jeez!  He gets mad??  Well, that settles it.  Give him whatever he wants just so he doesn't get mad.

You need to put an ad in the newspaper, "Adult wanted" because your home sure doesn't have one.

Answer 14

I think that he is too old to sleep in bed with you. i suggest that when he arrives to your bedroom, escort him back to his bed, find out why he is coming to your bed, and explain to him why it is important for him to sleep in his own bed through out the night, try to read him back to sleep, sing to him, or just lay there with him until he falls asleep. When he awakes the next morning, ask him how was his night in his bed. give him a kiss and reassure him that he is a big boy now and everthing will be ok....