My 8 year old son will not wipe his own butt.?

Question

I did the "let him do it himself" and that just turned into him not wipping at all! I'm sick of hearing "he's a big boy". I KNOW! Believe me, I know. I feel like I have done everything for him and now I am looking for some "real" advice. Thank you.

Answer 1

Just quit doing it.  A couple of comments from the other kids at school about smelling like p**p may make him see the light.  And who does it for him when he's not home?  Make him do his own laundry.

Answer 2

every time you have to do it i would take away a "big boy" privilege like a game, or fav food (mcdonalds), candy, fav activity(video games)....until he starts wiping his butt like a big boy- he will have to do "little boy" things...

tell him that also....cuz children that age dont want to be referred to as little, so tell him if I do wipe your butt like a little boy, for you then everything for the day you do- is going to be little boy things.

also make it easy for him and get some "can do" wipes- they are like baby wipes but for older children that flush, so that way, its easier for him to do it himself.

and if he at least tries you can help him "touch up" until he gets it down.

Answer 3

um. my sister was the same way.

Just keep doing it for him untill one day you wont be there (like your at work or something) and he will just have to do it himself.

he will grow out of it just give him some time.

Answer 4

I don't suggest you that you listen to the people here telling you to allow him to go to school and stink. Yeah that is a self esteem building thing for a parent to do.

8 seems kind of young to do their own laundry. My youngest is 8 and he can't evenr each anything and he would probably put in too much soap or not enough or set it wrong. My older 3 do their own laundry and they are 13 yr twins and almost 11. I think 8 is to young especially if the underwear has p**p on them they need to be rinsed and sprayed with stain protector. All too much for an 8 yr old to handle just becausehe has a hard time wiping his butt.

I buy the flushible wet wipes and leave them on the back of the toilet. My kids use a couple of those before wiping with the dry paper and it really helps them get clean on their own.

good luck :) please don't make your son feel bad about this.

Answer 5

Don't make him feel bad about the situation or have poor self esteem because of it. Maybe he doesn't know how to do it properly or maybe he's lazy- who knows. But he's 8 and chances are VERY soon he's going to become more aware of his body and then he'll feel awkward with his mom wiping his butt. Does he ask you to do it when there are sleep overs? What about when he's at a friend's house?

My advice is when he yells at you to "WIPE MY BUTT" tell him you're busy. Make your point that you are too involved in doing what you're doing at the moment to do it for him. Make him have to be more independent and assertive over his personal hygiene. I like the suggestion about wet wipes, they're a lot easier to use and will guarantee he gets all. If only this was Europe and he could have bidet that would spray his bum for him. Heck, if the problem becomes so severe go out and spend the $100 or $200 to get him a bidet.

Answer 6

I would make him do his own laundry so you don't have to deal with it. And if you can smell it, I would make him take a shower and loose a privelege.

Answer 7

take him to the doctor.

Answer 8

i know you don't want to be embarassed by his hygiene but i think he has to realize it for himself. a guy i know ( when we were younger) started showering daily rather than every couple days when his friend said something to him.

Answer 9

say something like, "ok fine. i'll wipe your butt for you like you would have to do a baby because your obviously a little baby." and stuff like that. when your that age you hate to be called a baby!

Answer 10

I like the idea of making him do his own laundry.  That and possibly letting him figure it out on his own that he's nasty.  My 3rd grade students are starting to get really comfortable with one another now that the year is wrapping up, and they'll flat-out tell each other if they stink or have bad breath.  One negative comment from his secret crush will have him wiping his butt in no time.

Answer 11

Teach him how to do his own laundry. My 7 year old can do laundry, if he doesn't have a mental issue then your 8 year old should be able to do his.  Frankly he should have been taught to wipe his own butt when he was learning to use the toilet.

As far as the "esteem" issue goes...he's the one not wiping his butt, so he gets what he deserves.  That's why kids are as out of control as they are these days, too many idiots are so worried about their "self esteem".

Answer 12

only in america,huh?!

Answer 13

He needs to have to wash his own underwear, just HIS underwear, in the washer and dry them, and put them away, several pairs at a time, of course.  If he doesn't, then there will be no clean underwear, to wear.  I think he will tire of this, hate doing it.

There is something not right about a child his age doing this.  I think you should speak to his pediatrician for the best advise.

Answer 14

Poor you!, I can only presume that by not doing it for him and then quietly telling him he smells of poo poo, will be the drive he needs to get it sorted.

Remind him that his friends will notice and be too polite to tell him.

Really hope he gets this sorted very soon!.

Answer 15

.What does he do in school or if he is visiting at a friends house ? IF HE DOES IT THEN HE CAN DO IT AT HOME. Tell him what you expect from him and if he doesnt comply then  have repercussions for the noncompliance.Dont even go to the bathroom if he is in there,  if he calls you let a deaf ear be your guide