My 8 yr old Grandson (I'm raising) can't keep his hands to himself at school or day camp,how to deal with this

Question

He is very handsy towards the other kids and I know he can be annoying to them. The staff at his YMCA day camp tell me this everyday. Since I am not there we can only talk to him at home about it. Wev'e tried taking away priveledges and about everything else we can think of. It's almost like he can not help himself from rough housing, touching, and grabbing the other kids. He has ADHD and he's on Strattera for it but this behaviour has to stop. He acts impulsively and regrets what he does sometimes after the fact and does not know why he does this. My husband plays his Father role, his single Mom (my daughter) works a lot of weird hours so we have him most of the time, like 5-6 days a week straight. It seems he is not his Mom's priority anyways. His Dad is in on death row. Could this be his way of dealing with frustration? What can I do about him before he gets kicked out of day camp?

Answer 1

I would have him evaluated again not for ADD but for an anxiety disorder. Its very possible that he doesnt suffer from ADD/ADHD - this is just what they peg any child who cant sit still these days. There are alot of things that cause kids to act impulsively - anxiety and lack of sleep are to HUGE causes that often go undetected and therefore kids are medicated for ADD rather than for what there issues are.   At a young age this boy has had to deal with ALOT - more than most adults ever do.  I would really recommend counseling and even get him into a social skills class - a therapist could help you get him into this or any family therapy group in your area.  

Try your best to be supportive and loving to him - he doesnt mean what he does -  and trust me, he just wants to feel included with the other kids.  Try having some of the kids (only 1 at a time) over to play so you can observe how he plays and redirect him.  Tell him too, that when he feels himself getting revved up in a situation, to take deep breaths and give himself a "time out " to just calm down before he acts impulsively.  He is old enough now to probably catch himself getting hyper.    Finally, really watch what he eats.  Cut out all processed sugars and artivicial colors/flavorings.  Have him eat more protein, less junk.  These "bad" foods can alter a child with his behaviors issues alot.  

I speak from personal experience - he'll get through this, just be patient and loving.  Youre a great grandfather for helping out so much!!!  he is lucky to have you!

Answer 2

tell him you are going to deal with it if it doesn't stop

Answer 3

Yes this is his way of dealing with his fear. His mother is rejecting him, his father ..... Is it possible that the medication is making him act up? Can you get a second opinion? Kids - and adults - are being over-medicated these days. One third of kids who get psych meds, don't need it.  I mean he is 8 years old. Boys will be boys.

Answer 4

cut off his hands.

Answer 5

I would talk to his doctor because it doesn't seem that the medicine is working. Most kids that have medicine that works can concentrate on things and keep their hands to their selves.

Answer 6

Perhaps he's not ready for day camp.  Perhaps he needs more one-on-one time with you and/or Grandpa.  He may have abandonment issues, between his mom and his dad...and that may explain his agression toward other kids.