My 8 yr old knowingly disobeys rules. Punishments like time-outs aren't working anymore. What else can I do?

Question

My 8 yr old knowingly disobeys rules. Punishments like time-outs aren't working anymore. What else can I do?

Answer 1

You can try having them create the consequences and punishment for bad behavior.  Use reverse psycology on them and when they misbehave then you can give them their punishment.  If they get upset say.. you helped set the rules and punishment.  Also, remember to reinforce good behavior.  Make sure the child knows when you are pleased with them.  This way it is not just a focus on the negative and you can show the difference.

Answer 2

Take away his favorite toys and or activities.  But really try to focus and praise the good things even tooth brushing...and tell him you are proud that he is being responsible.  SOmetimes we as parents really do forget to praise the good things and kids start to get our attention even if it is negative.  Also, you can reward him with taking him to the park or a movie.

Well, good luck.

Visit the Parenting.com and Parent Hacks for more tips.

Good luck and hang in there.

Answer 3

You should know his buttons by now. If he's pushing yours, push his!

  My sons LOVE DragonBallZ these days....when they are very bad, I take all tv priviledges away, and put a boring "Mommy movie" on.   And, because they are boys, and have some very naughty influences in the house (cousins...yikes!), instead of a normal timeout for big blowouts, I will make them lay down. The whole, sit-down/lay down thing for anger works wonders.

  Oh, and the fun stuff doesn't come back till Mommy gets what she wants!

Answer 4

Child discipline is a complicated problem, and there's no direct answer-all that works for everyone. For really informed help, I would recommend checking if there's a parenting hotline you can call in the area to ask for advice, or any support groups near where you live that you can contact.

From what you've told me, I can't give you a specific answer. But have you tried encouragement and rewards in exchange for good behaviour? Positive reinforcement works much better than negative reinforcement- that is to say, a smile goes farther than a frown. Another thing: have you tried explaining why it is wrong? Just because they know they're not allowed to do something doesn't mean they know why. Depending on the child, I've found it often helps to explain why they shouldn't do it, as opposed to just saying no.

Answer 5

READ ME.treat them the same way they treat u.this will get their attention.it will really agervate the kid...and dont really give them attention.

Answer 6

You could sign up for an obedience program. It will help and like teach you techniques and phychology and stuff.

Answer 7

My son is 9 and we just went through a whole big thing with him. We took everything away (tv, video games, going out to play with friends, toys, etc.) the only thing he was allowed to do was read and write. Every day he behaved and did what he was supposed to do he earned something back. We also put some rewards in place as well. If he behaved for a whole week him and Daddy would go see a movie together or him and I would bake a cake together. It seems to be working, but what works now will not always work in 6 months from now. They are getting so much older so fast at this age and I can't even keep up it seems like. Just keep trying different things.

Answer 8

At 8 years old, reason and logic are minimal. I'm sorry to say but pain creates a more lasting memory. I'm not saying a beating. But one has to ask themselves, who's the boss? A pop on the butt registers a better memory than a scolding which a child only hears as useless words. And you must be a person of your word. A child gets one warning. Next is guaranteed punishment. Who's the boss?

Answer 9

House arrest.  There is nothing like parental supervision to straighten a kid out.   If they won't follow the rules, then you can't let them out of your sight.  That means, they can't run next door and play with their friends.  They can't go outside unless you are watching them.   They can't go out somewhere fun with their friends' family.  

Since they are in the house, and they need something to do, so you will have to assign them something to keep them busy.  They could to do some reading, or they can help you with some chores.    

If they get tired of being on house arrest, they'll have to demonstrate to you that they can follow rules and be trustworthy.   Otherwise, you can't let them out of your sight.

Answer 10

I would try actual punishments.  Take away something she really wants the next time she breaks a rule.  No going to the carnival tonight because you won't pick up your room kind of deal.  If she starts losing out, she'll straighten up.  An 8 year old is too old for time outs.  Those are for 3&4 year olds.  You need to step up the penalty as the child gets older.

Answer 11

Get professional help now,   before he gets any older.  Otherwise, you will never get a handle on the situation.

Answer 12

Make the punishment hit him where it hurts. Is he obsessed with video games? Baseball? Whatever he truly enjoys, take that away when he disobeys.

Make sure you follow through with your warnings. It bugs me when I see parents say "If you do that again, we're going home!" 10 minutes later and 5 more times of the child disobeying, they'll issue another warning "Don't do that again or we'll leave!!" Kids aren't stupid. It only takes a few times for them to learn "Yeah, mom will scream and yell, but she won't ever do anything to me." If you tell him that if he does __ again, you'll take away a privilege, follow through! Kids will learn they can't trust you to keep your word in anything.

Answer 13

Spank him or her. That has worked well with my daughters.

Answer 14

I have an 8 yr old too and time outs don'twork anymore either.  I have found that taking way something he likes(tv, video games, favorite toy or even a dessert or candy he eats regularly) for a day or two and sometimes longer has really worked.

Answer 15

Sounds like a typical kid to me. What kind of punishments are you doing? Spankings lose their effect as children age and so do time-outs. When I was 8, nothing made me shape up better than being grounded from going outside and being grounded from electronics.