My 8 yr old will not wipe correctly....?

Question

I've taken her to the doc who explained the health risk of it. I've taken her to mental heath who say nothing but help her. I have. i've showed her for weeks at a time every time she's used the restroom how to wipe correctly. At first I thought she thought she'd miss something. We've tod her that nothing will happen until she's done. I think it's just a lazy thing. taking her things away, corner, spanking nothing has worked. This has been going on for a yr. my 3 yr old wipes better than her. I need help. I'm to the point of sending her to family to help. She just doesn't care. We've bribed her, given her things, withheld things. I'm at my wits end. I've thrown out at so many pairs of panties I can't count. I've put her int he bigger kid diapers to no avail. I've even made her wash them out int he sink before I put them in the washing machine. She really just does not care. I need help. Any advice. Her step father has been around since she was 3. There is no abuse in the family and when she went visit her biological father and family it still happens. HELP!!!

Answer 1

tell her that if she doesnt wipe properly then u will tell all her friends shes a baby not a big girl and doesnt kno how to wipe (dont actually tell her friends thats just mean)  

Answer 2

i was like that when i was her age. for a long time actually until i realized i was tired of going to the doctor fors infections down there.  i was lazy i will admit.  i think its normal just people dont talk about it too much.  all u can do is keep doing what ur doing.  tell her she can get infections if she keeps doing that.  also ask her do u want to go to the doctor today?  that way she'll think twice.  i hope that helps. im hoping as she gets older like i did she'll learn good luck!

Answer 3

If she won't clean herself properly then make her take a shower. Even if you have to make her shower 20 times a day ( she will get really tired of showering).  

Answer 4

Have you asked her why she doesnt care? If she has a blatant disregard for  personal hygiene thats a red flag. Is she acting out because you hate it so much?

If you think that she's the type of child that does things to punish you then try not caring (or pretending you dont care) for a while and see what happens. Chances are if you act like you dont care and it gets worse then she's definitly trying to get your attention. Do you spend enough time with her? Is there new babies or kids around who get more attention?

It could be shes looking for attention or it could be that it just doesnt bother her. You could be embarrassing her by making a big deal about it all the time. This one is a toughie, good luck. Maybe she has an infection and it hurts but shes too shy to say something.

Answer 5

tell her: wipe till nothing brown (p**p/f***s) is on the paper...

Answer 6

So you want to send her to family because she is not wiping well  

Answer 7

She is eight. Hygiene and germs are not her priority. They won't be for some years to come. At that age, if she can't see germs, they just are not real to her. The fact that her pediatrician tried to explain this one really seems ridiculous to me. Try not to ever compare your girls. I wouldn't want to be the one compared and be the one to come up short. I have seven children and they are as different as can be- and the first five were girls! You don't want her feel bad about herself  no matter what. This is going on for a year. Does that mean she never really got the hang of it or she had been doing well and stopped doing well?  If it just started out of nowhere, are you sure she does not have any leakage before or after the BM? Any chance she has gluten or lactose allergies? If you haven't see a GI doctor now that its been a year, I think that would be a good move.  Is it possible she is just going to be a little more laid back than you were expecting or are currently willing to tolerate? I think the fist thing is to rule out physical causes. If it turns out there is no physical reason, she is certainly old enough to do a small load of her panties herself. This will help her to understand the cause and effect realtionship between BM, wiping, underpants and those same underpants making it back to her CLEAN. Kids are who they are and it may be that this child is going to be the one that drives you insane with her messes. You have to decide if you want that to be the constant basis of your relationship with her- because right now it sounds like her BMs are the bain of your relationship with her.  In the grand scheme of things, either a docotor will help or she'll outgrow it. I guarantee you she will at no point have her picture flashed on your local news as the woman charged with multiple counts of skid marks (alledgedly). LOL Enjoy her. She'll be so gowbn before you know it!