My 9 year old doesn't listen what do i do?

Question

my 9 year old doesn't listen to me. she does whatever she wants. if i say no, she will either bug and bug, or just go ahead and do it. she is CONSTANTLY mouthing back, and arguing. we do everything for her. she never goes without. she is not nice to her younger sister (2yrs) she doesn't hurt her, but constantly bugs her, teases her, and my 9 year old will NEVER clean her room. ive tried grounding, taking tv, game systems away, time-outs, just wondering if theres some "trick" lmao, OTHER THAN HITTING. I DO NOT HIT MY CHILDREN.

Answer 1

Okay, give her a big big consequence. Like NO TV for 5 weeks at the most. No computer for 3 weeks. Keep on going till she stops behaving like that.

If she doesn't behave, call Nanny 911. It's the way to go, if she doesn't listen.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

You are the mother.  start acting like one.

Answer 3

Give a spot where if she is bad, they will go to for a certain amount of time. If she is bad, sit her there for a certain amount of time and have it get longer each time (I know you have already tried time-outs, but try it this way). Also try to do more things with her so she gets to know/respect you more and will eventually listen to what you say. Take her to the park, see if you can get her into playing a sport, and try to make play-dates with other people.

Answer 4

you say she doesn't listen to you...how does she have that option? My kids are not given the option to not listen. They either do what they are told or there will be consequences right away. They don't get second chances. You have to be consistent and firm. I have 4 boys 13, 13, 11, and 8 and I have never spanked. They are all well behaved and respectful because that is what I expect from them and nothing less. How can she be constantly mouthing back? You have to act the second she starts. You have to have SET rules and set consequences for breaking each rule and then follow through with the same consequence each and every time with no warnings or second chances. You can't ever give in. A kid doesn't get like this if you have been consistent with set rules and consequences but only you know for sure if you give in or maybe don't act every time.

Sit down with her and have talks about appropriate behavior and why it's important. Does she act this way at school? If not that should tell you something...that she is capable of good behavior when she knows she doesn't have a choice. and if she does then you have failed to teach her respect.

Answer 5

Ground her, take her privilages away

Answer 6

Chalie boy said if you don't spank that *** he will so don't worry.

Answer 7

Well, spanking on the butt is not abuse.  Sounds like your child needed it a long time ago.

There is nothing else besides spanking that could work for you.

Start acting like a parent and discipline your child.

Answer 8

Sounds like this young lady is long overdue for a spanking.

From what you have describe nothing else has worked.

Answer 9

Everytime she mouths off take away an item, until she no longer is mouthing off. Sounds like she is spoiled rotten no offense, think about it if she is like this now how will she be in 4 years as a teenager. She needs to know that you are the boss. You also need to look how you treat her compared to the two year old make sure it is equal 9 year olds know favortism when they see it. You should make a day for just the two of you but DON"T buy her love. Post the rules if you do this you lose this. etc. All she is required to have is somewhere to sleep that is warm, take toys, electronics friends everything from her room if you have to then make her earn it back one by one.

Answer 10

As a counselor, I have experience in working on parenting and behavior issues.  You have to keep setting and sticking to limits.  If it means that you take everything away from her, then that's what you do.  And give her a chance to earn things back and earn rewards by good behavior.  She needs to learn that there are consequences for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior, but this means that you have to define clearly and stick to the limits no matter how much she argues or whines.  And never argue with her.  You are an adult and she is a child.  You don't argue with a child.  If she keeps talking, keep taking things away until she stops.  She will.  Stick to this.  I wish you well.