My 9 year old has decided that he doesn't answer to anyone anymore. ?

Question

I understand that it is common for children to not listen, but this is different. He has made a decision in his mind and it's apparent. This is a child who is extremely affectionate and sweet most of the time. Needy for time and attention as well. His dad and I divorced four years ago and the situation is very difficult. I need help. I don't want to lose him. His brother is coping much the same way that I did when I was married to his dad, disconnecting to the point that reconnecting is difficult.

Answer 1

if he doesn't answer to you then don't give him anything don't answer to him another words ignore him don't give him any fun until he starts talking Im sorry but a nine year old should not made these decisions.  

Answer 2

You, your nine year old and his brother need counseling to cope with the divorce and with the nine year old's behavior problems.  The nine year old has decided that he knows better than you and can make better decisions than you.  The only one who could have taught him this is you.  The counselor can help you re-establish a proper parent/child dynamic.

In the meantime, try watching some episodes of Nanny911.  The common theme is behavior problems in the children are rooted in ineffective parenting.  You will learn how to deal with your children in a healthy way.

Answer 3

beat there a$$

Answer 4

Tough love.  That's what worked on me through my teenage years when my parents fought all the time and I was asserting my authority.

I found my parents would take away stuff from me...and even go to the extreme to sell my stuff if I didn't cooperate.  I've been kicked out of the house for a night a few times and had to sleep outdoors or at a nearby friend's house.  And when I had my car, my keys were taken from me or I was followed by my mother when I was grounded.  They never gave up on me until I gave up on my awful ways.

Answer 5

If you ask him a question and he doesn't answer.  Spank his a**!  You need to show him that not speaking to you is FAR worse than speaking to you!

Answer 6

If a child doesn't listen to you then there must be consequences.  The worse the situation the more extreme those consequences must be.  I know that isn't easy in your situation but ultimately it is for his good and for your relationship with him as he gets older.  He needs to realize that he is part of a family and as such there are responsibilities and rules.

Answer 7

Know why our prisons are so full? Because all of these nambie pambie @ssholes 30 years ago started spreading the philosophical garbage that @ss-whippings were 'mean' and instead of the belt you should give your child a 'timeout'. Now, many of those children are adults on a permanent 'timeout' in prison.

Take him behind the woodshed, so to speak, and remind him who's boss.