My 9 year old is being bullied by her "friends".?

Question

My daughter goes to a very small school that consists of 1 class for each grade and her particular class (3rd grade) only has 3 other girls besides herself.

One day a few months ago, one of the girls was teasing one of the other girls. My daughter decided to stand up for her friend and told her she wasn't being nice. Well, as you can imagine, the attention has turned on my daughter now. No one has stood up for her and she is often left standing alone.

They have all participated in a friendship group with the councelor, twice, but that hasn't helped. She comes home and cries often. Hysterical sometimes. Although it has never been physical, I am afraid that she will lose control one of these times and hurt someone. (she is a red belt in tae kwon do) I think it is such a shame that you teach your children to respect others and they then are the ones who are not respected!! How do I help her understand that it is still worth it to stand up for what you believe is right?

Answer 1

I agree with the answer from Ryan's Mom... definitely touch base with the parents and see if they are willing to talk to their kids. I would also connect with the teacher and make sure he/she is aware of the situation and knows to keep an eye out for it. If she sees anything she should be able to intervene. That is such a hard age... what happened to the one she stood up for? It is a shame if she too has decided not be friends with your daughter. Does she have friends at her karate class? If so I would try to set up some play dates with them, so she knows that those girls aren't her only friends or ex-friends. Remind her how awesome she is for standing up to them, and that it shows that she is a true leader, not to mention brave. If the girls are saying rude things to her, I would practice with her how to react and what to say when this happens... she'll be less likely to reach out and smack someone :) Good luck!!

Edit: I think it is great for her to hang out with the guys instead. When my son was in the second grade I noticed that the girls seemed to be meaner... I know that isn't all girls!! But that is a great idea for her. My son's best friend is a girl... they are 9 :)

Answer 2

Have the other parents been told about what is going on? Since your daughter is "Friends" with these girls you should have contact numbers for them. I would call them up and try to brainstorm with the other parents to come up with a solution since the school seems to not know how to deal with it.

Answer 3

aw=[

i hate when people get bullied.. it sickens me...

contact their parents,

or talk to the principal

Answer 4

let her kick some a*s i bet they will respect her then

Answer 5

http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.as...

Answer 6

how sad. Just tell the "friends" to treat people how they want to be treated. If they want 2 tease her then she shouldn't get in trouble for teasing them 2 let then no how it feels.

Answer 7

my son lance who is now in grade 1 , was always been bullied coz he is shorter than most of his classmates. If taught him not engage in fights even he knows basics of taewondo . He grew up to be very patient with bullies. But sometimes i also get hurt when he will go home telling that he is being elbowed, teased, terrorised by a classmate. I will tell him to just inform his teacher about the kid, but he's response will be the teacher will only say to the kid to stop, but of course bullies are bullies.

So i told him you just have to choose friends in school that will treat right. whether girls or boys just as long as they have good manners it is okey,

Answer 8

this is one of the worst ages for girls. It is always the nice ones that end up hurt. Encourage her to play with girls the year below or year above for a while. the 3 girls will fight soon enough and then one will come to her. Just encourage her to remind them what they did to her