My 9 year old son wants to meet his biological father?

Question

My 9 year old son has just recently found out about his biological father. He left us when he was 3 months old and hasn't seen my son since he was 9 months old. I've since married and been with my husband since my son was 18 months and he is his dad, but my son is curious. His biological father has shown no interest in seeing my son apart from a letter which sent to me straight after he was ordered by the courts to pay £21,000 child maintenance arrears, but we haven't heard anything since.

I don't want to stand in my sons way, but don't trust his biological father not to hurt him.

Help!!

Answer 1

let them meet..but dont force it on the father

Answer 2

Well, what you should do is let the father talk tot he child but not "See" the child, because he may be plotting at something to take him away, that kind of stuff happens all the time!

Answer 3

Ok you may wanna say u r using a guys acc, I was kinda confused at first.

This sounds alot like that sitcom, Geroge Lopez. Well, you never know wht will happen, but dont you think your son have every right to meet his dad for better or for worse? Maybe not now at his age, but when he is older, I will definately let him meet him. Just DONT invite him to your home, or let him know where you live, if you dont trust him. Just ask to meet up like for lunch. I would call and see if he would like to see his son, if he does not give a d**n, I think its best to keep your son away.

Good Luck. =)

Answer 4

I would honestly tell your son the situation his father is in, and warn him that the situation could potentially be dangerous... then I would respect my son's decision, since I do believe he should have the right to make up his own decision in this instance.

Answer 5

If you respect your sons wishes then let them have a police supervised meeting. Good luck! :)

Answer 6

tell him that he should wait till he's a little bit older..

Answer 7

let the boy stay for a weekend each montth then see wat happens

Answer 8

You might try contacting his father yourself and asking how he feels about it.  There should be no strings attached to visitation.  If he father agrees to see him or want to see him ask the father if he is capable of keeping any  bad feelings between you two out of the visits.  The child has the right to know who his biological father is and it doesn't have to come between him and his "step" dad.  

You should also sit down with your son and talk to him a bit about the relationship you had with his biological father.  After all you did at one time love him.  From there he doesn't need to know all the nasty details but simply that things did not work out and you stopped loving each other.  If there are really bad feelings between you two then maybe a sharper statement such as  we do not get along and tend to argue a lot so we try not to talk to each other but it is OK for you to want to see him.   Just try to talk to his father first and see how he feels and if he too can keep your own feelings out of it.  

Answer 9

I think you should be honest to your son.  Don't over-do it, but tell him how you feel and get him to ask you questions about it that might help him understand.  In the end, offer to help him, but encourage him to wait until he is older.  Show your son the letter(can you?).  

Answer 10

I saw my biological father for about 20 minutes when I was 10.

It went really bad. As a child I didn't realize that this man just wanted to get laid and was pretty bummed that I popped out.

No easy answers here.

Edit: Someone mentioned having the police present. This is how it was when I met my dad.

It was a very wise idea to have the police there. My dad behaved mostly because there was a cop present.

Answer 11

have a cop there when he visits. then there shouldn't be a problem.