My 9 yr old daughter does not wipe after bm. She hides or tosses out underwear. How can I help her stop?

Question

I have shown her how to wipe. I leave flushable wipes.

Answer 1

just wipe your daughter with a baby wipe and put her in a diaper.

Answer 2

I went through the same thing with my three year old. She was embarassed by her bm, and didn't want to have anything to do with that. I told her it was a natural thing, and that everyone does it. I started out with a doll, which worked for a time. But having my other daughter also helped. Whenever I changed my daughter's diaper, she'd watch and I'd exlplain to her that it was necessary to wipe back there because that's how we clean ourselves. After a while, she got the drift. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I know that sometimes with my 8 year old he calls me for help because textures make him gag and alot of times throw up.and if it is "yucky" that may be why. Too much there or something.

Answer 4

I agree completely with the strategy of having her clean up her own mess.  Do not say it spitefully or with anger in your voice, though.  Say it as if you always planned on doing that but just forgot until now (no big deal) and now want to help her learn how to do it. Tell her each step of the way what you want her to do the next time you find her undies in the trash or on the floor and make sure she knows that you are not mad about the soiled clothes but that they just need to be cleaned.  If they are full of solid waste, she must lift up the toliet seat and empty the solid waste into the toilet.  If they are emptied of solid waste but still stained and left on the floor, she must hand wash them in the sink and hang them to dry in the laundry room.  Believe it or not, I did this with kids as young as potty training age and it always worked.  Nobody wants to touch that sort of thing if they do not have to.  When it becomes a standard chore whenever the deed happens, unless there is a medical issue, the deed quickly stops.

Answer 5

After she knows what to do (if you've allowed her to choose her preferred cleaning method, wipes, tp, etc., and you are sure that there is not a medical or serious emotional problem involved, this sounds gross, but having her clean up her own mess will work.  

(That involves rubber gloves and washing her underwear out in the toilet - if it is huge mess, if not, teach her to do her own laundry, perhaps cleaning the floor with anti-bacterial wipes if there was a mess there, etc.)

And if she throws her underwear out, then she can pay for replacements from her own money.  

This sounds harsh I am sure, but kids today do have it pretty easy.  Just be matter of fact and let her know the new plans and follow through.  It won't take twice.

Answer 6

I have an 8 yr old nephew who doesn't wipe. Try asking her why she won't do it. I'm guessing that she doesn't want to wipe because it's "yucky". My nephew doesn't like yucky things and I think your daughter is going through the same thing. Teach her why it's important to wipe and what the consequences can be if she doesn't wipe. That might help. Good luck!

Answer 7

Have you asked her why she is doing this?

Try taking her to the store and letting her pick out what she would want to use to clean her self off. It may encourage and actually make her feel exited about cleaning.

When she dose hide or tosses out her underwear have her sit in a time out and let her think about what she did.

Answer 8

Well, since you tried flushable wipes then you can try this :

http://www.dukandar.com/chromeclassic.ht...

If you don't want to try that just make her take full showers after doing number #2. For some reason my oldest son has always taken a shower afterwards. It is not a big deal because a kid should only do that no more than twice a day. I actually thought it was great that he was that uptight about being clean.

If nothing works then I would suggest taking her to a doctor and a psychologist to make sure there is no physical , medical , or psychological reason she is doing this.

Answer 9

My daughter was doing this for a long time.

I made her wash her undies when they were pooey, but that didn't help with the hiding problem, so now I get her to wash her undies when she is in the shower each evening, whether they are pooey or not.  It's a good habit to get into.

By doing that I can make sure that she isn't hiding them anymore (because there will be 1 pair of undies per day in the wash), and it also makes her realise how gross it is to have to wash a pooey pair of undies.

She's pretty much stopped now.  There is the occasional skid mark still, but it is nowhere as bad as it was.

Pooing and hiding can also be a sign of something emotional going on with your child.  As a counsellor I spoke to about it said - it is like "emotional dumping".  OK, so it sounds a bit gross but it's fairly accurate.

In my daughter's case, she was very stressed about her mum and dad not being together.  Although we seperated when she was 18 months old, she was still feeling affected by it when she was 5 and 6.

Maybe have a chat with her and see if anything is bothering her?

Good luck!