My 9 yr. old gouged my moms hand what would you do? she 74 yrs. old?

Question

My mom is 74 babysitting while my son has 1/2 days etc. cuz I am in a bind. My son has ADHD, ODD and Impulsivity. Mom was getting him to the bus, he wanted to take toys to school ( which he knows better) Mom was checking his pockets, son was being resistant, fighting w/ her. I explained to him last night before bed to be careful w/ grandma cuz she is fragile. While she was checking his pockets she somehow gouged the top of her hand. She is diabetic and must be careful when she hurts herself. How do I get through to my son to BEHAVE???????????? grownding him or disapling him doesnt phase him. I am so angry my son did this and my mom is here for the rest of the week and then for Easter break cuz I can't afford daycare or have no where else to put him. Can't afford therapy, dad doesn't help w/ insurance til May & I am ready to send him to his dads (out of state!)

Answer 1

yes i agree with others your mother at her age although she probably enjoys it should not babysit your son with his condition.but in saying that whether he is adhd or not he is still held accountable for his actions.his punishment should be making his grandma a card and apologizing.My son has adhd also and i found that simple things work effectively.all he wants is his own way and he will not get so he will rebel have you ever though of reverse psychology it works for me my son thinks he is defying me when in fact he is doing the opposite. there is no right way for you everyone is different...i hope you figure this out

Answer 2

Sorry to say this (actually, I'm not), but having ADHD is no excuse for poor behavior like this.

You need to discipline him BETTER. If you say that disciplining doesn't work you're obviously not trying hard at all. Take away ALL his toys for at least 2 weeks and make him apologize to Gran.

Answer 3

I really don`t have an answer to the big problem.  

I would tell grand ma not to check his pockets anymore.  Let him take his toys to school and let the school take them away.  Do not go get them later.  Do not buy him anymore.  Please make him apologize to his grand ma.  Maybe make him do some work around her house to make up for his mistakes.  I know you want to beat his butt, I don`t think that would work for him.  Pray a special prayer for him and grand ma.  Pray hard!!

Answer 4

If you can't afford daycare or insurance, maybe you could get on Medicaid.  Check it out. My son has similar issues. Be firm, you are in control. Don't be reactive, be proactive when you see him start to throw a fit. Tell him "NO WE ARE NOT GOING TO HURT PEOPLE. IT'S NOT HAPPENING, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FIND A DIFFERENT WAY TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION." Set clear rules and boundaries. If he doesn't follow find what he enjoys the most and take it away.  If you already gave him the consenquence follow through and don't change it..  I agree with the post that said you might need to take everything away from him. Wait until the next incident though.

Answer 5

Beat his ***!

Answer 6

no i would not ground your son. you should have never ever asked your mom to baby set for you. she 74 in not so good health and your son is a hand full. there is no bind big enough to put your mom under this kind of stress. im sure she loves her grandson and he can not help have adhd and odd but he needs some one that knows how to deal with his problems. not your poor mom. i dont mean to be rude or mean in in way. i just do not  think you are doing the best for you son and for sure not for your mother.

Answer 7

why the h**l would you leave your son to be babysat by a 74 year old!!! He has problems that a younger person would find hard and you leave him with a fragile old lady. You need to find other options for him.

Answer 8

Continue disciplining him and following through. ADHD or not, he still knows right from wrong and he needs to know and experience the consequences of doing things like that. You can't always wait on dad, do what you have to do to get your son in order. Continue taking things away, and try not to get too frustrated (easier said than done). At the same time balance it with rewards for good and acceptable behavior, like going to the movies, etc. BTW, don't let your 74 yo. mom watch him anymore.

Answer 9

With all of these diagnoses that your son has has he seen a psychyatrist or a therapist? Because it sounds like he has an anger issue i think therapy would help and its not your fault and it was not wrong of you to ask your mom for help

Answer 10

ADHD? That's another term for bad parents. Kicking his *** is still free.

And maybe the amphetamine you're giving him for his ADHD has something to do with erratic behavior?