My BF's dad just died as a result of alcoholism. What can I say to comfort her?

Question

My best friend's dad just died as a result of long term drug and alcohol abuse. She doesn't want to talk- she told me through a text message. I am just wondering what I can do for her?

Answer 1

Tell you you are sorry. Don't tell her anything that you think will make her feel better or anything that may minimize the situation.  Ask her what you can do for her, tell her no matter how big or small.  She may need someone to run an errand, return a movie, pick up groceries, call about a bill, do some laundry.  Grief is overwhelming, it is hard to go on with the day to day of even bathing and doing make up and household things.  It's hard to get your mind to think of anything without coming back to your grief at first.  Just be there for her, offer to do specific things if she is the type of person that doesn't ask for help easily. Don't be pushy, just put the offer there and say you are sorry.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is be there for her and listen. Your being her friend and when she is ready to talk, just listen.

Answer 3

Don' make a big whoop of doing something for her. just text her back and say "I'm sorry for you and I'm here if you need me"     short,sweet,simple.

Answer 4

Give her space. She'll talk when she's ready, but until then don't force her. You can try to arrange to do some activities (the things you girls normally do) with her to get her mind off of the situation and give her opportunities to talk to you.  

Answer 5

Don't be pushy. She may not want to talk about it... But don't act like you don't care, either, then it may seem like you don't like her or care what happens.  Ask if she wants to talk about it... if she doesn't, well then drop the subject, but if she does, let her, don't interrupt her when she's talking, offer word of consoling, and listen to everything she says.  

Answer 6

Be there for your friend when they are ready to talk they may do so. Accidentally leave some pamphlets referring to counseling around. Maybe see if there is a professional in the community that could call her. She may be a little out of sorts for a while. Don't take it personally. If you care for this person, do what you normally do best as her friend. You know, within reason.

Answer 7

Just be there. Just listen. She probably wont want to talk, thats a horrible thing to go through in life. So dont try and force it out of her, Just let her know that when she does want to talk, or if she needs anything... you'll be there.

Answer 8

When she is better,everything you can help

by the way, I'm sorry for her

Answer 9

Let her know that you are there.

Remember the good and learn from the bad.

My father died at 68 after being a chronic alcoholic all his life, he died in an diabetic coma (while drunk).

Later you might want to say that. She can take this experience a help herself and others. She has  a life to live. The dead are gone. We cannot bring them back. We have to go on  about living life.