My Dad has been having an affair for 5 years.?

Question

This time last week i found out my dad has been having an affair for FIVE years, since i was 16.

Is it wrong to not want anything else do to with him?

I just feel so angry at him for all the lies and most importantly the pain and humiliation he has caused my Mum.

Answer 1

Its not wrong that you don't want to see him because at the moment your hurting and because of the pain and suffering your mother is going through isn't easy as he has just up'd and left you both to deal with what he has done. You'll eventually get over the anger and start wanting answers for yourself not just on behalf of your mum and no matter what he has done and how much pain he has caused you will eventually want to see him and talk to him. At the end of the day everyone makes mistakes and maybe his bit on the side won't find it as fun as it was when he was living with your mum and kick him out then who'll be lol as you and your mum will have a great bond together  

Answer 2

Men you should definitely emotionally blackmail him. You can forgive him later but right now I would nothing to do with him. What a coward.

Answer 3

I believe that honesty is the best policy . You should do one of two things : confront him yourself in praivate and tell him all you have told us . The second thing is to set down with your mother and tell her and give her reasons that you know this and let her do the confronting . I kind of like the second choice better , but I honestly believe that one of the two solutions will work , just choose the one that suits you .

Answer 4

I know how you feel. It's like I want to scream at him but some part of me is holding me back because I still have to respect him (it's crazy, I know). I just feel so deflated. I guess I want to be honest with him about how much I'm really hurting because of what he's done

Answer 5

you have an understandable resentment towards him. I wouldnt necessarily cut him off until you are satisfied that he had no excuses or mitigating factors, but its your life now and you can do what you want.

Answer 6

i think you should let him go off on his own to think things through and while he is away you should support your mother and tell your dad how you feel about what he did to you and your mother.

Answer 7

i know what your going through. it hasn't happened to me but people close too me. lets just start off saying i'm sorry. this must be a suckish time right now. though it really is your choice if you ever want to go near him again. but if i were you, I WOULD LEAVE HIS SORRY A.SS BEHIND. but also remember, he still loves you and cares about you. just whatever you think is the right decision FOR YOU

Answer 8

it's your choice whether to keep in contact with him, but I think that you are right not to.

Answer 9

In your position i would be so angry and probably not want to talk to him... over the years i think it will get a bit easier  

Answer 10

I think it's your dad's mistake. It's wrong to have an affair, but I can't tell you whether to hate your dad it not

It depends...do you want to hate your dad for the rest of your life, or do you want to forgive him?

The question is, do you still love your dad?

If so, why not just forgive him?

If not, you can have nothing to do with him.

*Just always be there for your mom...she needs you. Your mom's upset, if you're an only child, you're all she has

Answer 11

He's still your Dad. Life is so very short babe, imagine how you'd feel if something happened to your Dad while you were at logger heads? This is really for him and your Mum to sort out to be honest please do not let this ruin your relationship with your Dad.

Answer 12

Sweetie, I have been exactly where you are now. It stinks. I never forgave my Dad. We don't have any contact now at all (for many more reasons than just that though).

You have to follow your heart. If you feel that you want nothing to do with him, then follow that. In time, you may forgive him. You may never be able to get over his betrayal.

Only you know how you feel. All anyone here can do is offer their opinion.

If you never want to see him again, that is totally understandable.

You follow your heart, stay true to yourself and be happy. (((hugs)))

Answer 13

Whether you want to maintain a relationship with your father is, of course, your decision. At the very least, if it were me, I'd make it very clear how I felt about the situation, and then I would step back from him for a while. As far as the woman, I would choose not to have anything to do with her. Let him know that, if he continues this relationship, it will make a real difference in the one he has with you. That's all you can do. You can't control him.

Answer 14

Of course it isn't wrong for you to be angry! Your Mom should have thrown his c**p out on the front lawn 5 years ago. She puts up with it! You should be mad at her! She suffers from low self-esteem, that is why she has stayed.

Answer 15

Remember that your Dad is also upset at causing all this trouble, but he is still your father.

Answer 16

your mum and dad must have been very unhappy life so short no one should stay togather if they dont love each over its not fair on every one would you stay with some one you did not love any more dont think so so why should your dad