My Dad is having an affair, my mother doesn't know and my brother is ignoring it.?

Question

I've suspected my Dad of having an affair for a while but always thought that I was being to paranoid. Recently he went on holiday with his mates for a week. He wouldn't tell anyone who he was going on holiday with apart from that they were his friends from work and that we didn't need to know.He probably told my Mum more about it than me but she was also not well informed and was quite suspicious. He went anyway, and came back and everything seemed to ok. Recently when he was out I looked at his mobile texts. There are about 90% form the same woman, all saying she loves him and that she wishes sh was with him. From him there are ones saying how much he misses greece (where he went) there are also some about her divorcing and one says "when shall we do our splits?" I showed my brother who said he had known about it for ages and that we should mind our own businesses. My mother doesn't know and I'm not going to tell her unless it makes them split up. I can't stand being in the same room as my dad or even talking to him. I have no idea what I should be doing or thinking! The woman is a family friend with husband and children whom i've babysat for, also i don't regret looking through his phone one bit, i would rather know the truth then let him carry on lying to me my mum and brother.

Answer 1

I would tell your dad you know but if there is a chance he will get physical with you then i would tell your mum first.if there is a place that you and your mum and your brother can stay until your dad sorts his self out. your brother should care more and you should talk to him about it and tell him that ignoring it is just making a foll out of your mum. your mum deserves to know the truth and your dad is being totally out of line.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

maybe confronting dad first..talk with him, he should come clean with you and with your mom

Answer 3

People fall out of love all the time but, the way your father is going about things makes him scum! I'd tell my mother and be there for her through the heartache and divorce that may follow. I doubt your mother deserves this.

Answer 4

Confront your dad or tell your mom.

Answer 5

Wow, tough question. I would leave something incriminating about your dad where your mother "accidently" will find it...she needs to get rid of that loser!

Answer 6

i am so sorry, that's a hard, hard thing to know and go through.

i would say that telling is the best thing to do. it will take a lot of courage, but you'll feel awful thinking, "what if i had told mum, will things be better?" etc.

good luck, please email me (see my profile) when you do.

Answer 7

I agree with the other person you need to talk to your dad tell him what you know and well see what he tells you. Depending on that then tell your mom. But first talk with your dad.

Answer 8

Well, if i were me I would tell my mom because she has the right to know.

Answer 9

wow, that is really messed up...i didn't see a question in that but im here if you need somebody to talk to ...

Answer 10

to be honest if i were you i would confront the woman! Or leave hints saying like how tight your family is it means the world to you. Hopefully making her feel guility

Answer 11

I would say something to the other woman's family. Then sit back and watch the sparks fly .... >;-)

Answer 12

Try to get your mom to "accidentally" get a hold of the phone, like somewhere nearby or something. Make it seem as if your mother read the messages by mere coincidence so that it would seem as though you did not do anything and that you would not get into trouble. Who knows what might happen if you tell your mother and your father found out? He would be really angry and I don't think that would make things better for your family.

I hope whatever you're going to do is the right thing, because if it were me, I would be confused as well.

Good luck, and I hope for the best.