My Daughter is 5 and she often has wet pants and am worried...?

Question

When my DD was is in private school, she has no accidents, but when she is home, she didn't have much accidents and did well when we were living at my mom's. When we got our place almost 2 months ago, she did okay, and then hit rock bottom. I came up with a chart and said that if she would use the potty, she would earn a star each time she uses it. But if she has a total of 3 accidents, she needs to be in diapers/good nights (what ever is called). She did so well for about 1 week and hit rock bottom again. Is she doing this for attention? She was recently checked and has no bladder problems, no distress. But when she has an accident, my hubby gets really mad and is loud. ** he is deaf, so his voice sounds louder then a hearing person ** could that be scaring her? I have tried to calmly talk to her about the problems she have. She gets grouchy and she would not listen. Why isn't she taking us seriously. I want to reward her with goodies, but if she has accidents in public, at home, at my mom's (nana's) and other places, I feel severely embarrassed. It's like I don't want to take her with me anywhere. I am so worried that I want to pull the roots out of my head! We hardly ever fight. But I am thinking it could be because my DH is loud and somewhat careless?

I am worried in a way that, when she goes to public schooling for the first time, in 3 yrs (year round private schooling - upon the request of my dad's.) She is going to school on Aug 25th, and I dont want to be embarrassed to have her wet her pants in her first public schooling - kindergarden...

Help!

Answer 1

I have a 4 yr old with the same problem. She refuses to take time out of her day to go to the bathroom, I think she doesn't want to pause her day. We set up a schedule and every 2 hours we would go to the bathroom together. After about 3 weeks, she started going on her own. It could also be the changes are stressing her out, being yelled at can do that too. I give my 4 yr old the option to wear a pull-up to bed or not, some nights she wants to, others she doesn't, but it's been 2 months now and no accidents. We've also used the "if you don't go in the potty, you can't go to school next year"... it didn't work, but it might since your school days are much closer.

Answer 2

This is a tough issue. Control of her own body functions is the one thing in her life she can control, and she is making the most of it. You can urge her to go to the bathroom, and she can defy you by saying, "I don't need to go now." The accidents do happen because her bladder gets so full it's going to empty no matter what. I went through this with grand-daughters, who would not go to the bathroom before we left the house, and then, of course, had to go under the most inconvenient of circumstances. Try giving her chances to make decisions, like food choices, and other little choices, i.e., "Do you think your bedtime should be 8 o'clock or 8:15?" (which isn't a big difference, but will make her feel like she has some measure of control).