My Ex makes me feel worthless- how to stop feeling this way before I do something stupid?

Question

I really don't care if he even finds a way to see this either.

I dunno if this will get deleted but I desperately need some advice. If you want the full throttle go onto my page and look up my other questions - its been a c**p, horrible two days.

To top it all off I just saw a question, went out side, and my car was smashed. I haven't enough money to buy a new one and fixing everything that's broken on it will cost more than I can probably afford to spend right now. To top it all off our song just came onto the radio.

I'm hitting rock bottom and I just don't know what to do. He isn't the guy I fell for and I just want things to go back to the way they were a year ago. Does anyone have any advice? And please don't tell me to 'turn straight', believe me, I tried SO many times when I was a kid.

Try telling your mum you find the princes in Disney more attractive than the girls.

Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

You received 9 answers in 20 minutes, and all but one read what you wrote.  (There's no girlfriend, Matthew.)  There's more than a bit of the drama queen in you (wording of the question - it's a real "save me, save me" notice "....before I do something stupid")

First of all, did you ever tell mum and dad?  Are mum and dad on your side in this break up?  Would they be, if you let them?  Since you're already in the ditch, so to speak, it might be worth finding out - then you could "kill two melodramas with one stone" as Mrs. Malaprop might have been drawn to say.  Or not.

Car.  Did you have insurance?  Is it legal to drive as is?

He is the same guy you fell for, that's fact.  But there may be a real issue with how you choose to see others, and with how you allow them to see you.  Playing the drama queen may be campy on occasion, but the role is difficult to live with, and the survival rate isn't good. While you got 9 responses in 20 minutes - those brief contacts are the whole, you won't be seeing those folks again.  While most folks are attracted to drama briefly, briefly is about all that most of them can take.   If you want a long-term relationship, being real and seeing clearly are definite prerequisites.

Answer 2

Report him for the vandalism.   He ought to pay for the repairs.

You are as valuable as you choose to be.

Do not let his behaviour control your view of yourself.

Answer 3

If he's not the guy you fell for a year ago, maybe you are just now seeing the real him. Cut your loses and move on. No one is worth making you feel like doing something stupid. I just went thru a break up 10 days ago and while I feel sick over missing him, I just couldn't keep on with someone who was so self centered. If you do all you can to make them happy and all they care about is themselves, then sometimes you have to move on. maybe he'll realize what he is missing and get his act together, maybe he won't. Some people just aren't capable of loving someone else.

Answer 4

Jason,



Is it possible that you can move in with a friend that is not a mutual friend of your ex and you? You should report him to the police. You  stated before that the police didn't take you seriously, but guess what enough calls and they have to do something. I don't know your entire situation (if you have a job, or savings) but if you continue to feel like this maybe you need to uproot yourself and start over. If you are feeling suicidal, you will never find the complete answers you need here. You need to seek professional help. I know it can be scary to think you need a psychiatrist, though we are giving you great advice you need someone who can be more reliable. As one poster stated we are temporary help for your situation. I notice you have many concurrent supporters (and I am one of them). From all the pain you have been through contemplating suicide is the biggest issue.

Answer 5

JUST MAKE HER FEEL WORTHLESS

Answer 6

The truth is if you didn't already believe in your being worthless, you probably would not have gotten into that relationship in the first place & you'd be dealing with this in an entirely different way.

You want your own self love ultimately. Not anyone else's. And you shld not want his.

If you can go to a mirror & say to yourself "I love you (your name here) " with feeling & believe it without being drowned in feelings of despicable self loathing .... well that won't happen if you arew like 99.9% of people on planet earth .... but until you love & acdept yourself completely your next relationship will be the same ...  

Answer 7

Be kind to yourself Jason.  You have only succeeded in punishing yourself needlessly.  Do not think about times gone because the situation and circumstances have changed and we as people change as a result.  You are no longer  the guy you was a year ago what type of guy would you like to be in the future?  No one will want to go out with you if you sulk and whine about.  A happy confident person attracts a lot more suiters than a negative guy.  Begin by changing your out look.  the car is not as important as you think.  I do not drive and as a result I meet more people.  You need to move forward not stagnate.  Go out meet other people make friends.  I know you will have a great life if you start thinking n a more positive way and not build yourself up into a state of hysteria.  Be good to you week starts now.  do something nice for yourself everyday until you work through your situation.  Change the ball game take back the power.  Good luck and I wish you happy times ahead.  

Answer 8

Listen hun i read all of your questions but i didn't know what to write but i do for this one. Smashing your car is another step you can take to the authorities. You must, get up right now and call 911  you can kick this guys **** through the legal system if not physically.

All im saying is this jacka.s.s dosen't deserve you nor do you deserve the desperation and depression your feeling.

Your Gal, Destiny. and if you need help to kick the m**o's **** hit me up.  

Answer 9

You and I may 'play for different teams' sir but you are still a man. The way you are feeling right now is why we have beer, drugs, rock & roll and cheap nasty drunken s*x with people you've just met and whose name you don't even know and who may or may not ask for money up front. These things won't make you feel any better but like I said we are men and are not designed to do sensible things like talking about the pain to someone who we trust or getting in touch with our feminine side although I suppose you maybe have a head start  on me on that last one. As regards the car it's probably best that it's not working considering how drunk/intoxicated you should be and the walk will burn calories so that you are more attractive when you meet the aforementioned person/s with whom you are going to have the sordid soulless tryst/s with. As for being straight it's ok but over rated at times. Have you ever watched football (soccer)? It's ****. Anyway best of luck to you and I might tell my mum that just for a laugh...

Answer 10

Hi Jason,

I'm sorry to hear about that.  However, you don't have to feel worthless.  You have to be strong and stay away from that horrible ex.

Regarding to your smashed car you should report it to the police immediately.

I understand how you feel but believe me time is a healer.

I wish your life is back to normal soon and your family is able to understand and support you during this time.

I am sure you'll come out of this stronger than before.

Please contact "The Samaritans".

All the best and God bless.

Answer 11

Ok i see you have low self confidence about the "moving on"

The first thing you have to realize is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!Here are many people who will try help you.And for sure you have at least one friend who will support through this hard time!

And i know that is very hard to move on but it's not impossible!You just don't know from where to start!Why don't you try with small things,  something which you do the best?That will help you realize that you are special in your own way and that you are ready to move on.

for ex.If you paint good make your own gallery with pictures...

I really hope and believe that you will get over this

best wishes

Answer 12

go open a bottle of champagne and celebrate. its amazing how a bottle of champagne can turn around the shittiest experiences and feelings. if you really need something fast make a french 75 cocktail with champagne, gin, lemon, and sugar. that will sort you out in no time.  

Answer 13

I think you need to unblock him on MSN Messenger.

Also, I told him to go to Toronto and sell toy robots. You should also go to Toronto, but sell fake Rolex watches.

Together, you will win a contract from Simpsons, build the robots and foil a jewel theft. Remember, your body is your key here.. you will meet a shady guy in a pool hall who will lend you money to build the droids.

"Rolex! You know the name, now own the watch"

Answer 14

You're just in a bad luck run - things will get better.