My Family Can't Accept My Sexuality. What Can I Do?

Question

I'm a 27 year old g*y guy that lives at home with my parents because I don't have the money to move out of home at the moment, My parents know that I am g*y and when they are drunk they taunt me about it and calls me names like "Poof", "******", q***r" and all the rest. This leads to arguements and now none of us are talking. They say that I will never be as good as my brother because he is married and I'm still single and like men. On Saturday night it all blew up and there was a huge dramatic confrontation and I slapped them because I just had enough. Now they say they are getting a barring order for me and throwing me out onto the streets. I feel so low and suicidal right now and really don't know what to do. I'm full of regret and shame and wish I wasn't g*y. Will they ever come to terms with this?

Sorry for the long post. I just had to share it with someone.

Answer 1

I'm sorry you're going through these hard times. Well, it's really unfair that your parents are treating you this way. They are your parents, and they're supposed to love you even if you're g*y. I think that you should just move out as soon as possible. I know times are hard right now and its really hard to make the right money and even find a place of your own, but if you don't move out soon, things will probably get worse and you may hurt yourself. I know you must feel bad for slapping them because they are your parents but i want you to know that it's not your fault you are g*y. You never chose to be that way. Nobody chooses to be g*y or L*****n, that's just the way they are. Don't be ashamed for being g*y. Let me tell you something else. My best friend is g*y. He has been g*y for as long as I can remember and I know he never chose to be g*y. It just happened. But I don't care if he is g*y or straight. I still love him just the way he is and he is not ashamed of being g*y. You shouldn't be ashamed either. Even though your parents don't accept the fact that you are g*y, there must be other people in your life that do. Talk to someone about it. One final thing: if you feel that nobody loves you the way you are, just remember that someone does. That someone is Jesus. You were made perfect in every way and that is why you shouldn't be ashamed. Well, that is my advice and I really hope things get better between you and your parents. :)

Answer 2

At 27 you should be having your own life away from your parents, try looking for a house share, this will give you more Independence, more confidence and will help you socialise with a wide variety of people, you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are but assault is very serious. You need to have time and space away from your parents, this will also let them have time to understand how you feel, hopefully you will get on much better when you just pop round to see them, you dont need to discuss what you are doing in your private life

Answer 3

How can you honestly expect them to come to terms with your being g*y just as much as you are g*y. Do you follow me? It was hard for me to deal with when I found out my sister was a L*****n because someone else told me and not her. She is my sister and I still love her. But now that you have excepted this lifestyle, you have to live in your own place because it is clear that they are upset and you want them to be accepting. You should have never slapped anyone! You are 27 years old and still wanting to live in your parents house? Come on now, what did you expect to happen? You have got to pick your self up and be the responsible person that you need to be. You must have known that this was going to create an issue from the get go and you needed to take responsibility of that from the get go.

Answer 4

i feel so sorry for you, but one thing that you should be ashamed of yourself because of who you are i think in any case they will learn to accept it but you just got to give them time and space, life aint fair everyone knows that  think they are in the wrong for what they are doing to you it aint fair, js look for a job even if its two jobs what ever it takes for you to get out of there

good luck!!  

Answer 5

I feel for you.  My brother told my family he was g*y when he was 21, and we all love him for it.  When it comes right down to it, you are the same person you were before they found out.  My brother lived with his partner with my parents for a while while he was saving money to get his own place. Some people are very accepting of it, others are just downright nasty.  Please don't be ashamed, be proud of who you are.  Your sexuality doesn't define who you are as a person, it is just a small part of it.

I think you need to get that second job, or pick up extra overtime, whatever you can, to get out of home.  Your parents don't sound very accepting at all.  As you obviously don't have family support, do you have support of friends in relation to this issue.  From everything I have seen from my brother, family support has been a big contributor to his ability to accept his own sexuality, but close friends will be the next best thing if you can't have that.

Answer 6

I have been in a relationship now for over 5 years and told my parents about us within the 1st year. Some parents can deal with it, some need time to deal with it, some (in my case) seem to never accept you for who you are. In my case, denial is supposedly the best policy. "Let's just act like you never told me and let's continue our relationship in that way." Recently I have confronted my Mom about unfair treatment and lack of respect as an individual as well as a couple and it is clear that she is still in the denial phase - it's been going on since I have told her. She can be proud of many things about me, but prefers that my sexuality and my partner be swept under the rug - her actions really make this clear. This really sucks as we have been together for a long time and are "normal." You just have to find strength and pride within yourself despite what ANYONE says, including your parents. I don't know your parents or how they will respond to you, but for your own sanity, I would also recommend trying to find your own space because living in such an unsupportive environment is not in your best interest.