My Friends: I need all your opinions about this issue ...coz i somehow feel estranged in nowadays society ..?

Question

I need your opinions regarding this issue .. coz many times I feel estranged in our society :

I see that many girls seek attention from guys by a way or another

They like it when they tell them sweet words & try to flirt a little …

no need to mention that some girls like certain looks from guys which show them how beautiful & special they are …bla bla bla

Wallahy, I know many girls who are apparently well-mannered & religious who love THAT … they like to be nice with guys in particular to start telling them sweet things …… some of them would even lose a close friend, a girl, and not lose one of her guy fans.

For me, it’s totally different … honestly, I really HATE that … really …. I don’t like to hear sweet words or see guys’ looks … that never attracts me or make me happy even secretly …. EXCEPT if he’s someone I really love & we have mutual feelings for each other.

Answer 1

Those girls are too superficial .

thank god ! there are still "weirdo" girls like you!........

How wonderful to be reminded that there are still some 'real' girls out there!

Answer 2

Ok Noha (the answer is edited again, so please read it agian)

the way you feel about this is totally normal. and i think what bothers you that your decent well-mannered attitude is not appreciated well from other guys.

you can say it is a human nature to like to feel as point of interest from the opposite gender. it gives more feelings of self-reward. Feeling that someone likes you makes flatters you as a girl (and as a guy too). you know a girl is like a flower :O) and honestly there is nothing wrong about that feeling (to feel good because someone expresses his likeness to you in some way). specially if both are single and just trying to explore each other. So I view it as being kind and welcoming.

and i have to tell you every girl concept of flirting is different from one another, some find it in direct gazing, and some find it decent treatment, some find it even in rational discussion about different topics. her femininity is expressed in multi-levels. and depends on what aspects of her self she define herself with. And according to this she will attract guys who are searching for her kind.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

what is RIGHT and WRONG in all of this:

it is wrong when she seeks these kind of company as source for her self-esteem. a source for happiness when she is down. this makes her expose herself to a number of varied men who are different in their social backgrounds and their intellectuality and eventully in their concept of a girl (is it a figure, or a lady)...

it is wrong when she (and them) do this to impose an image of “cool guys” and want others to feel it. They are doing more harm to themselves as what they do is to ask others false appreciation, not their own wants and needs

it is wrong when she deals with it as a competition with her female peers to prove she is “the most wanted”

it is wrong when the flirting is mixed with lust, it can be felt from his way of smiling and looking… and after awhile she (and he) miss conceive the meaning of love as a life commitment

it is wrong when the girl put her self inside a circle of clowns who are trying to make fun of each other just to make her laugh, they dis-respect themselves, and such a girl is not in the domain of choice of any decent man watching, and also those clowns are not going to propose either, so she is the real loser

it is NOT wrong when you show your respect with kindness to others. Respecting their inner beauty and their effort they exert for their future.

It is not wrong when you know your self goals in life, and what makes you happy in it. This will attract the friendship of girls and guys who are on the same page of your maturity

And as a result it is not wrong when you laugh on something he said and was really funny, because you are real friends and colleagues with similar interests and similar view of the future and similar set values, so it is no shame to find him funny, because he is not faking it.

And i dont think it is wrong when it happens normally with someone you trust, and feel he might be a good choice as husband. this doesn’t meant to expose your self, but it means to keep the door loose (mawareb)

if you see what makes it is wrong when we view happiness as something external to us.

while it is right when it stems from your inner happiness - inner beauty

there some kinds of flirting when happen spontaneously you don’t feel shame about (like blushing with smiley eyes -refer to moonrise question)

like when he care to assure you something you need. Or want.

Like when respect your need of privacy.

Like when he handles you a seat in a busy room.

Like opening the door for you first.

Like when he deal with you as a lady.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Frankly speaking, if you feel as a stranger remember that these attitudes change so much after graduation, and those girls who were seeking those guys, will change their view dramatically after words. And the same for guys. So you are better because you didn’t waste your emotions or your time and gained your self-respect. Which is something important any groom search for, as it will make him trust your ability to hold on your responsibility as a wife as a mother as a lover.

If you still feel stranger, just seek another circle of girls honestly

Define your inner-happiness, Live free of worries and regrets

May Allah bless you and gift you happiness and secured love you dream of.

Answer 3

Ok ya Noha, first Happy Ramadan for you and Nada and all ur family , God bless u all,

Abt your question, I have alot to say abt it, but i will just say my opinion in brief,

Its normal for a guy to look at a girl, and vice versa,and if he likes ger, he will look more to her than the others , that's normal, its like when someone u like and u want to see how he laugh or talk or eat lol

But sometimes there are bad looks, which have bad intentions, Many guys have this looks this days.

Abt flirting, I think its normal and good when a guy flirt with a nice good respectful way, or show his love or respect to any girl,

But 95% of the flirting this days is stupid and has no meaning except showing how empty minded people have this days.

@Beautiful mind, Good answer.

Answer 4

you arent weir at all.

this is the effect of the movies and the serials that enter our homes and spread their dirty tricks in the minds of innocent girls .

in the near past , there was censorship on everything we see on TV or in the cinemas .

nowadays , i go to the cinema , and find young girls/ boys  watching things that they shouldnt be allowed to see .

their minds are invaded by things that do not suit them.

my father used to see a movie before taking us to see it .

perhaps this is allowed to alleviate the problems of the population , but we will pay a heavy price for it , and we are already doing that .

May God help us .