My Friends kid is a BRAT!?

Question

My child is 15 months old and her little girl is 2 1/2, every time they play together something happens! She threw a phone at my girls face, pushes her, takes her toys, pulls her hair, hits her, steals her snacks, and although her mother punishes her (spanking) it dosen't get any better. Its gotten to the point I just don't want her little "princess" around. I don't want to lose my friendship with this woman but I can't STAND her bullying kid!

Answer 1

It's all about how your friend is parenting the "princess". This is a touchy subject to talk about with a friend without hurting her feeling or losing her as a friend. It depends on how close you are. Is your friend open-minded? Does she take constructive criticism well? Maybe miss "princess"  needs a timeout!!

Answer 2

She's TWO!  That's what two year olds do.  She is demanding her own way.  All two year olds do that.  Your girl is going to be doing  the very same thing very soon.  So, be prepared.  Your friend's little girl is going to calm down, and yours will be exhibiting the bratty behavior.  That's the way it is.

Answer 3

you just wait until your precious 15 month old is two

thats what toddlers do.

and SPANKING MAKES IT WORSE

just so your aware.

Answer 4

You need to talk to your friend. Say "hey look, my kid is getting the S****y end of the stick here. She's constantly getting hurt by your little girl....blah,blah,blah..." You are her mother, you need to take care of her, even if that means offending a friend. AND also as a mother, your friend should be embarrassed by her little girls actions, she needs to do something to get her to stop acting this badly...yes the terrible two's, every kid has them, but not that bad!!! She needs to step it up and expect her kid to act decent!

Answer 5

dont let them be together and if she wont stop tell ur friend to use other methods besides spanking it may help hope this helps =]

Answer 6

I disagree with the spanking bit, but you need to lighten up a bit, and perhaps pay closer attention so one of you can intervene BEFORE the actual deed is done. The kid is 2.5 years old- all kids that age demonstrate some pretty heinous behavior from time to time and need constant reminding on how to act- they're learning how to behave socially, and bound to mess it up big time, that's what 2 year olds do,. Lighten up, and be more pro-active to intervene before your child is smacked or a snack is stolen.

Answer 7

maybe you need to talk to this woman and tell her to seek pro help i mean their has got to be somthing wrong that she sees at home or thats bothering her untill then her"princess" and your QUEEN just shouldnt asscoiate o0r get yours some friends of her own and u can keep your friend its easy

Answer 8

Tell your friend you really appreciate her friendship and you don't want to ruin it, but you are afraid for your childs safety.  If she doesn't always punish her for her actions, let her know you'd rather not have a play date until her little girl can control her actions.  Make sure she knows you don't expect perfection.  You would just like to be able to allow your kids to play together without incident.

Answer 9

Your daughter will most likely be doing the same things in a few months, that's what 2 year olds do.  I don't agree that a 2 year old needs to be spanked but if her mother is punishing and redirecting her, she will catch on.  Most (if not all) kids go through the pulling hair, hitting, taking snacks, toys, etc at that age; it's perfectly normal.  2 year olds don't understand sharing, the world revolves around them.

ETA:  Whether her child is a little devil or a little angel, all moms will be defensive if you say anything negative about their child or their parenting skills.  It seems to me if you can't stand to be around her child, you risk loosing a friendship if you confront her about this.  Most moms I know (especially w/ very young children) would get defensive whether their kids are right, wrong, good, bad, whatever.

Answer 10

Try not to expect too much from a 2 1/2 year old. She seems "grown" to you since you only have a 15 months old, but in all reality, she's very young as well. It also depends if your friend's girl is a single child and therefore not used to sharing or interacting with other children. The 2 1/2 year old may be jealous of the attention she now has to share with your baby. Since children two years of age don't know how to verbalize themselves yet (besides a few words or two-word- sentences) the interaction with your child may be difficult for her. When you and your friend get together again keep a very close eye on your child and ask your friend to do the same to her daughter so your child won't get hurt. Also, spanking may not be the solution. Time out can work well. Suggest to your friend to take away the phone from her daughter for a while if she just hit your child with it etc. How about offering your friend's child a piece of candy or a healthy little snack that she will get once she behaved well around your child? However, keep in mind that mothers are very protective of their children and may not take it too well when other moms tell them how do discipline their children. If nothing seems to work, try and get together with your friend without the children if that's possible. Good luck.

Answer 11

Is spanking the only discipline your friend is using?  That could be the problem.  If she never teaches her child what is wrong with the behavior and has her apologize for it the child will never learn.  What she is teaching her child is you respond to behavior you don't like with violence so the child is doing what she is being taught.

You might want to ask your friend if she watches SuperNanny on ABC.  She might get some good ideas for ways to deal with her child from that show.  You could invite them over while the show is airing and watch it with her and then discuss using her discipline strategies together with your children.

Answer 12

Of course hitting the child isn't going to do any good, it is only teaching the child to hit more!  The child is simply not DISCIPLINED and hitting doesn't constitute discipline.  Discipline requires patients, consistency, teching, redirecting.  It isn't this child's fault that her mother has no parenting skills, SHE is only a toddler.  I suggest you tell your friend that until she can learn how to discipline her child rather than teach her child hitting is okay you don't want either one of them in your home.  A child's first and most important teachers of their entire lifetime are their parents...Look at what your friend has taught her child.

Answer 13

Besides the "spanking" does her mother redirect her daughters actions and model the good behavior?

Answer 14

Your friend needs to find other ways of punishment if spanking isn't working. Also, her daughter is going through "the terrible two's", which is a common phase in toddlers. Your daughter will do the same thing.