My Girlfriend from a 2 year relationship cheated on me. What should I do? What would you do?

Question

I have been in a wonderful relationship with this amazing girl in just a couple of days it would be our 2 yr anniversary. I love this girl to pieces she is the love of my life, we had an argument but we made up however I tried calling after we made up just to tell her I love her, I never her back from her until 2 am, just when I was about to loose my mind thinking something might of happened to her. It turns out that all the time I was calling her she was in someone else bed. I was traveling and was coming home to see her in 3 days. We had leased an apt together and we where going to move in. Everything was going so well and I had no idea she was capable of doing something like that. The thing is, I still love her and it was her who told me she cheated the very same day it happened, she could have not said a Sthing and I would of never found out.she cried and told me she wanted to die, that she felt miserable and dirty and that she did not know why she did it. She said she has no self confidence and since she hadn't seen me in 2 months and we had and argument she needed to fell good and special, but she does not know why she did it. My heart feels really heavy and it hurts. I am very close to my mom and would love to talk to her but I don't want an "I told you so" answer. I really don't know what to do. She apologized and everything, she hates herself for doing it but that does not make it better, it hurts, it hurts real bad and I don't know if to follow my heart or my brain. The worst thing is we now have this apartment and I don't know if I want to live with her but I have no where else to go. PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I AM DESPERATE

Answer 1

She made a mistake in cheating on you, but the real question is why? Was she scared because you two are moving in together? Was she doing it to get back at you for the fight? There could be a million excuses for what she did, but what was her motivation? I wouldn't accept that she didn't' know why. Everyone who cheats has a reason. I understand that you love this girl, and her cheating just came out of the blue, but the fact remains, she cheated. Granted, she told you about it, but it doesn't make it any better. Will you ever trust her again? That's key. If you don't have trust, you really don't have a relationship. Another thing is, because she got away with it before, whats to stop her from doing it again. Crazy as this sounds, to you right now, she doesn't have any respect for you. If she did, it never would have happened. Also, if you forgive her, she wont ever see you the same again, she will see you as weak. Follow your brain on this one.. I think you know the answer. Also, talk to your mom, even if you do get an "I told you so", Moms are still supportive.

If it were me, I would have booted her butt to the curb before she was done telling me her story.

Answer 2

if you think she's worth it, or she's the one- stick it out. move in and see how it goes, everybody deserves a second chance right?

if it happens again then you should pull the plug and get out before you are completley heart broken. she's very lucky that you are considering what to do, not ending it straight away. her excuses are bit lame though, but if she's the one for you give her a second chance, bite the bullet and see how it goes, you never know she might end up being your wife, so dont write her off to quickly

Answer 3

Hey you.

Sorry this happened to you.

Why do you think your mom would say "I told you so?" Did the girl give off weird vibes before? Please explain.

I suggest you talk to her and really tell her how you feel. She violated your trust and betrayed your relationship. It hurts, stings, and is heartbreaking. :( Again, I am sorry.

Figure out if you want to continue a relationship with her but ultimately, you must sit down and talk to her. It's not good to keep what you feel bottleld up inside.

GOod luck.

Answer 4

That's completely up to you...but your always going to have that question floating around your head....will she do it again...i really cant put myself in that position because i think its never happened to me. follow your heart, and if you think you can work around it, keep a good thing going, i hope everything works out for the best............

Answer 5

D, my friend she was going to cheat on you no matter what.  She came over to you and caused an argument so she can over to someone bed that same night.  She is not worth the effort.  You deserve better than that.

Now for the apartment, go over to the manager and tell them your situation has changed and see if they will let you out of the lease.  V Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

LOOK FROM THE SOUND OF THINGS YOU R TO MUCH IN LOVE TO WANT TO BE WITH OUT HER,AND SOUNDS LIKE SHE REALLY LOVES YOU,WHEN SOMETHING HAPPPENS LIKE THIS IT IS VERY HARD TO GET BACK TO NORMAL..BUT IF U REALLY LOVE HER LIKE U SAY U NEED TO TRY TO WORK THIS OUT,WHY ISNT SHE GO WITH YOU,,,DOSE SHE HAVE A JOB...IF NOT GET HER TO GET ONE TO KEEP HER BIZZY WHILE U R AWAY,,AND TRY TO SEND HER FLOEWERS FOR NO REASON AT ALL EXCEPT THAT U LOVE HER,,PEACE

Answer 7

you were going to see her in 3 days, yet she slept with some else to feel special..she couldnt wait 3 days for you?? especially after waiting 2 months? I dont want to sound negative hun, but if shes going to cheat on you after 2 months, how can you trust her any time you need to leave her for a period of time? Im guessing she truly is sorry, but its hard to get over being cheated on. Once trust is boken, its very hard to rebuild.

Answer 8

well everyone has had some good advice. my suggestion, which doesnt make it any easier is reread the answers left by heather and chick278. only you can work out what to do. Do try to talk to your mum, you might find that she wont even say those words.  

Answer 9

I've been in a situation similar to yours. It's really up to you. If it was me in that situation I'd probably give the guy (for you girl) a second chance because I'm way too nice. Just remember you'll always be thinking about what she did. Eventually you'll probably start questioning if she loves you enough and if she doesn't show up one night you'll think she's cheating on you... It'll take a lot for you to trust her again. It's up to you.

Answer 10

does she love you? or id it just that she knows she did something wrong and feels bad about it?

do u love her enough to trust her blindly once again? or are u planning to say u forgive her and then briong this up whenever she makes a mistake or remember this and look for her to make mistakes again?

there is something you can do...move into the apartment .. but before you do that...sit down and speak to her tell her that u feel betrayed and hurt and that you need some time to come to terms with your feelings and till then while you'll will share an aartment , you'll will live seperate lives.

and if afteer a while you still feel confused about your feelings for her and hers for you...split up and go your seperate ways.

every relationship has its ups and downs what you have to decide is whether the ups are worth going through the downs. running away at the first sign of trouble AND THIS CERTAINLY IS TROUBLE is wrong and if you still love her and its true love maybe someday u'll be able to forgive her.

all said...its easy to give advice from the sidelines so think about your situation and listen to both your head and your heart after all its your life.

ps: mothers do say , i said so but they also are great at advice and comfort

Answer 11

can you try to get out of the lease? Get a subletter, move in with your parents. do something? break up with her would be my advice.

she didn't value your 2 year relationship to stay faithful so why should you continue with that relationship

Answer 12

i think ur gf is being sincere and genuine when she admitted to u that she cheated. it means that she couldn't bear keeping it to herself cuz the guilt is too strong. to be honest, i myself have been there and done that a couple of times. and i've never admitted any of them to the bf that i was with at the time cuz i didn't take him seriously. therefore i didn't feel bad cheating on him. but i've also been cheated on and the person who did it to me was also genuinely sorry. i forgave him but it was never the same anymore. whenever i was with him, i go back to the time when i found out that he cheated on me and feel hurt all over again. even after i forgave him and he was a better person to me, i still ask myself how could he find it in his heart to hurt me. and everytime i ponder i feel the same pain i felt when i first found out he cheated on me. that was how much hurt i was. i was probably like this for a year. so maybe forgive her and see if it changes how u feel afterwards.

pls let me know if u'r the same as me... if u still feel the pain even after u forgave her.

Answer 13

yeah i agree with the chick above me she didnt value your guys relationship so why bother with her

if she cheated once she'll prolly do it again

Answer 14

As much as it hurts and will hurt for a little while leave her and don't take her back once a cheater always a cheater. Also the reason she feels dirty is because she is. Sorry but you can't turn a hoe into a house wife.

Answer 15

Leave her and the appartment tell her it's her fault the relationship is over and also that she can deal with the appartment. Leave it up to her to find someone else to move in, do not sleep with her do not give in to her tears, she is so selfish she even told you she cheated and expected you to forgive her! Leave get out and away from her you will find a girl who will respect you love you and NEVER cheaton you!