My Husband Just got back from Iraq 5 weeks ago and he says he wants a divorce. How do I stop this? ?

Question

Neither one of us has cheated. He just says he don't Love me anymore. Our councilor says he is Projecting on to me cause he can't get out of the Army yet.But he can get ride of me and his family. What do I do to Stop this Mess. We have been married for 11 years.

Answer 1

Just try to keep calm and go through the counselor. Let him eventually come out with the real reasons why he thinks he wants to divorce. His situation is dangerous in Iraq and he is probably ultra stressed. I would be supportive as much as possible and let him see that he doesn't have to give up or lose everything. :)

Answer 2

Okay calm down. My husband said the say thing on his first deployment on his R&R. Give his space and let him realize your going to be there by his side no matter what. Your with him because you love him. And, nothing will change the love you have for him. Sounds like he doesn't want you to get hurt. Make him realize your there for the ups and downs.

Answer 3

YOU COULD TRY MARRIAGE COUNSELING. REMEMBER  HE JUST BACK FROM IRAQ, HE MAY NEED THERAPY

YOU CAN NOT FORCE SOMEONE TO BE MARRY TO YOU. ANYONE COULD GET A DIVORCE. IN MATTER OF FACT HE COULD JUST GET UP AND LEAVE, DON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOU. WHAT HE HAS TO DO IS PAID CHILD SUPPORT, AND WHAT EVER ELSE THE LAW REQUIRES.  

Answer 4

Well, you can't stop him. You should also not make excuses for him and his behavior. A deployment is stressful but soldiers (and spouses) use it too often as an excuse for disrespectful and crazy behaviors.

Do you really want to go through the same thing every time he deploys?

I can see that he is upset with the military but a logical and reasonable person would be able to make the distinction between hating one's job and hating one's spouse. We all may take out our anger on loved ones but your husband may, in fact, just be an irresponsible person.

Critically evaluate your marriage and if it's been rocky for the most part I think there may be underlying issues that might be coming to the surface now.  I am not trying to be negative or cruel but I have met several wives in the same situation and it turned out that the deployment just brought to light what was going on for a while.  

Answer 5

My husband got back from Afghanistan in April he told me that he was not sure if he is in love with me. We have been together for 16 years.  It broke my heart and I did not know what to do.  I gave him some space and wrote him notes about when I fell in love with him. We also  talk a lot more now then before. Its been a few months now and we are still together.  Hang in there.

Answer 6

I cannot comment on how being in the army may effect things in a divorce situation but i fundamentally believe that it is hard to fall "out of love" so easily. It is easy to get confused about what we want in a relationship and life though and doubly so i would imagine. Here is a little article about that, it is geared more to couples who fight but i like the underlying message.

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How to Stop Your Divorce With Love

Love has been considered the greatest source of inspiration in the world and also the greatest source of despair and problems making it a polarized word in a language that references it constantly. If you are heading towards separation and are trying to work out how to stop your divorce these opposite ends of the spectrum of love play a terrible conflicting role in the decisions you make as love applies to your relationship as well as to all of those around you including yourself.

Confusing? Well so is love! When it comes down to it no tricks or complex strategies can even give you a long lasting, successful and happy marriage. The only way to achieve this is by making sure the commitment you both have to your relationship and marriage is fueled by love and nothing else.

Click here for the rest:

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Stop-Yo...