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My Husband has cheated...What should I do? Looooong story?

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My husband and I have been married for almost 2years and been together for 3. Exactly one month ago we lost our daughter, she was still born. We have no kids together. We both are 22, so we are kind young to be married in this generation. Lately he has been sleeping with his phone in his pocket and he also has a security lock on it, he doesn't admit he sleeps with his phone is his pocket but he does, and he says he has a lock on it because he's tired of me going through his phone. So one day while he was at work i got online and checked his call logs. There were repeated numbers in there from 1,2,3,5,6 o'clock in the morning and text messages allllllllllll DAY!! Back and forth to each other. So I called the numbers and a female picked up the phone saying that her brother uses her phone to talk to my husband about music, my husband makes music and that my husband makes music for her brother, I did not believe her. I could tell she was lying. If my husband and her brother were talking like that too each other then they really have a secret life together. She immediately called my husband and he says he's not coming home because he's tired of me acting like the fbi. He denied talking to the female. I immediately called customer care and had all his calls fowarded over to my cell phone. The girl kept callin him and I would answer and tell her to stop calling my husband. She would just hang up. I cussed my husband out really bad. He got off work and moved ALL of his things out of the house and was staying at a friends house. By the next night the call fowarding feature was turned off and I checked the call log again and the same number was on there 2 o'clock in the morning for 141 mins, and the following day a repeated number but from a different state, so I called that number and I asked the girl did she know my husband and I told her I was his wife and she didnt belive me when I told her we were married but she said she knew about me and she told me that she know where I live and and she know about me losing the baby and that they have been having s*x and everything, she just knew too much info. So we were arguing back and forth. My husband calls me telling me that I'm making a big mistake and that I messed up and taking everything all wrong and that he admits talking to her on the phone as friends only tellin her all his problems. He tries to work it out with me but i wasnt having it and then he decides he wants to visit his dad for a week because he's sick and I invited myself to go and he tells me no we both need to clear our head and everything will be ok when he gets back, i told him if he leaves he will never hear from me again. He doesnt believe me... But i'm serious and he keeps calling me telling me he's sorry and that he loves me and everything will be ok and to trust him. He has hurt me soooooooooo bad i cant explain. I just lost our baby and i really needed him and he has done this BullSh*t to me. Now I feel embarresed because sooner or later I have to explain to friends and family we are seperated and some people dont know that we lost our daughter yet, i just feel so embarresed. What should I do??? Things are different when your married than from a bf/gf relationship, is this something that all marriages go through??? Should I give it all up? Please help

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  1. Good Day,,, Mr name is Mrs Nancy Alfred, Am from Florida, I had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never liked him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man of voodoo online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell that will make my parent love him and allow me to marry him without any quarrel thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him most than before we are now happy married family,please help me in thanking him for his help, here is the email esangopriest@gmail.com


  2. oh hunnie i feel for you...as i type this im going through the same with my fiance..hes downstairs in a fit and im online..and i hateee the net but i feel so alone..HE DOESNT LISTEN TO ME!
    he was in usa and me uk...we met back in march ..just as my mum died..was a hard time but we got though n im glad he was around ..h then asked me to marry him...not one to truly believe in marriage but i did say yes cos i  love him and knew it was th eonly way we could be together him being american me english.
    Just before he flew back home to get his finace visa we found out i was pregnant..was a huge shock!! i hadnt been pregnant in 19 years!!..so he flew home and i went to  my hospital scan the next day ..they decided to scan me..i didnt want to because he wasnt there..( he was due back in 15 days)..but long story short i was told my lil one had died...and his 15 day trip home took 7 weeks!
    To say it was hard is an understatement...and because i screamed n yelled at him over the phone he cheated with women online...so he says...had o talked rationally to him he wouldnt of he said...I HAD JUST BEEN TOLD ID LOST OUR CHILD!! RATIONAL????? I THINK NOT!!.
    i dunno why i ran his name but i did n fund him on tons of sites...leaving women comments telling them their hot and s**y on the days i was in hospital losing our baby.i felt sick reading them ..told him to go die etc etc..remarkably i got on as best i could.and long story short hes back in uk now n the weddings planned for 2 weeks time...but..
    hes tol dme he only did it because he felt alone and didnt have anyone to tlak to and all that rubbish but i dunno..when i met him he had a string off online women and did the whole s*x online b/s..oh and the best part..he was still living with his ex as he talked to me..I SHOULD OF KNOWN THEN SHUDNT I!
    so what do i do ? weddings 2 weeks away ..he says he was unahppi with ex of 8 years..only stayed cos nowhere else to go n worried what both familys would say..his family has accepted me right away weirdly n never mentioned her ever.oh i dunno i could go on ...when i really wanted to say i so so fee your pain n anger..i feel like im losing it most days..i lost my mum and my lil one within 5 months and now im supposed to go stand up in front of people n marry the man whos making me wonder if he really does love me and eva did ..or am i ...just the ...next inline....online.

  3. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. I have gone through it twice, and am done.

  4. aw hunni, i am goin thru almost the exact same thing n we have decided to try n make it work.

    to give you some background. my husband is a US marine, based in camp lejeune. I am from scotland, uk and we planned on him moving to UK when he gets out, early next year. in order for him to come here, i need to sponser him so i am here taking care of business so that there are no problems with his visa. it has been hard being apart but we got thru 4 months before so i knew we could do it. i was also pregnant with our first and super excited!

    we then lost the baby. it was absolutely gutting for us. he just switched off and went awol for 4 days. i was left alone to cope, without my husbands support but i understood that he just needed time to deal with this in his own way.

    anyhow... that was then.

    i found out yesterday that my husband had actually slept with another girl while i was pregnant and he was also gettin intimate with another girl while i had the miscarriage. i am so hurt because this is supposed to be the happiest times for us but he has chosen to wipe all that away with stupid mistakes.

    i knew something was going on because he started acting different, he started accusing me out of nowhere of being unfaithful, he told me he said he didnt like me goin on myspace or facebook because thats how people cheat and then obv the fact he ignored me for a week while i was miscarrying. i originally started to think i was at fault n that i must have been doin something wrong. but it all got too much and after seeing a comment from this girl on his page i decided to check out his myspace account (something i would never normally do as im quite a secure person and i have no problems with jealousy)

    there was a message from him to our mutual friend askin her to get the girl he slept with contact him. i knew right then something was up as he has never mentioned this girl before and he just isnt the type to hang out with girls. he is a man's man, he likes bbq's, buildin stuff, trucks n fire lol. anyways, i asked him who she was n he just went quiet. i knew right then. my gut told me everything i needed to know. so i hung up n called him back the next day.

    i am lucky in that he admitted it after i confronted him and has told me all the details i wanted to know. its important to get all the facts so u can make a decision based on the whole picture. like when an insurance company inspects your car after a smash to see if it is fixable or a write off n how much it will take to get you back on the road.

    right now, my feelings are swinging between just callin it a day and fighting for my marriage. one minute, i hate his guts for all the pain i am feeling right now and the next i am too pig headed to let some lil s***k ruin my marriage and steal my husband from me. it also makes me sick how someone i cared about, our mutual friend, would also betray me. i feel humiliated by him completely and he knows it.

    so even tho it is still raw, i am a strong woman, always have been and i realise that it is a lot harder to work at a marriage than to throw it away.

    so we are working on finding out why this happened so that we can prevent it from ever happening again. he has admitted he has low self esteem and that she made him feel special, paid him compliments and he had been drinking which lowered his inhibitions. altho this isnt an excuse, it has given both of us some insight. he now knows that he has to work on himself and his own self esteem so that he doesnt ever need a girl givin him compliments to make him feel good. i know that i need to appreciate him more and look after myself rather than lean on him so much.

    i have also asked him to make a list of things he is willing to do to regain my trust and to work out how he plans on fixing his problems. i am also looking at our marriage and tryin to figure out what was so wrong and how i can help and making a list of things i need from him to help me feel secure with him again.

    it is guna be a longgg process and there will be times when ill want to pack it ll in n he knows that an accepts that the rsponsibility lies with him to make sure he does all he can to make amends for this. he is also writing a no contact letter to both girls tellin them he chooses me, he made a mistake, he loves his wife and is commited to his marriage and never to contact him again. he is also changing his phone number so that they cannot reach him. his idea. n im glad cos i know he is doin these things because he wants to, not because i am telling him to.

    i dont know if this will help, but i find just reading other peoples experiences help me to feel a little less alone and give me some ideas...

    i really hope he works his a*s off for you. you seem like a lovely girl who has been hurt by a stupid boy who was too scared to admit tth truth. but you have to get to the bottom of all of this and get all the details when u are ready and you'll both need to commit 100% to fixing this.

    my email is dreen_dreeny@hotmail.co.uk if you want to chat or anything n share how ur feelin with someone who is goin thru kind of the same things

    take care hun

    andrea

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