My Husband is an A** at work?

Question

Seriously. As normal, he talks a lot about work. He is in a small supervisory position (super vises 4 people, reports to a team manager). And when he talks about his interactions with his co workers, he is an a**. Maybe he is talking it up to make him look all big and bad, I dont know. He is friends out side of work with a co-supervisor, and their manager, and one of the people he is over. Not overly so, but they will have dinner, or help each other on personal projects outside of work, things like that. So obviously, they dont all hate him.

I had a supervisor that acted exactly the way he portrays that he acts, and quite frankly, it was the most miserable job I have ever had. I have mentioned this to him a couple times in a sort of half serious way, and he just looks at me like Im nuts.

He never acts like this towards me, at home, or in front of me when interacting with our friends. But the way he tells it, he is just an a** at work.

Is he just talking it up, or does he really act like this? Should I keep trying to talk to him about this, or just accept his fish tales and move on?

Answer 1

Let the man do his job. It doesnt effect your home life.  If being a prick to people puts food on your table then let it be.

As long as he's not taking that kind of attitude with you, then it shouldnt be your concern.

Answer 2

As long as he has a job and is not in danger of being fired why would you be concerned. It is not up to you to control how he acts at work, it is his job and I an sure he knows how to conduct himself properly or he would not be in a supervisory position.

Answer 3

Sounds like a little bit of power has gone to his head and he is talking it up. Sounds like a wan*er.  

Answer 4

Sadly, the work place is brutal... survival sometimes requires ruthlessness. Its a pity. We all wish it were not so. However, it is a jungle and that's just the way it is. But remember WHO he is doing it for. Most guys with no family have nothing much to fight for. You may not like his tactics... you may not like the hunter-killer attitude... but you should admire him for what he is doing for the sake of you and the family.

Answer 5

You may find that he likes to inflate his own ego, or that maybe he can be a bit of a bully, just to try and prove himself.  My bet is that he's fairly new to management.  Let him find his own comfort level and managerial style, but you can still subtly remind him that nobody likes a micromanaging butthead (or whatever his particular overly done style may be).  

You may find that his ego turns into confidence and that his supervisory skills are actually pretty good after all once he gets his bearings.  I used to think (from the stories my hubby told me) that he was an *** at work, but after years of being together and continuing to gently remind him that the people he stomps all over on the way up, will be the same people whose butt he may have to kiss on the way down, he also developed a sense of self-worth as well as fairness, and I like to think that I may have had a bit of influence there.

Don't nag him... this is his work after all.  However, there is nothing wrong with being the softening influence that reminds him that his staff are people too and that each person responds differently to different managerial styles.  

If you can afford it, you also may want to suggest taking a few continuing education management classes at your local community college.  Don't put it in such a way that he actually needs the classes, but that this type of class can help him further his career and look very good on a resume.  

Answer 6

I wouldn't worry about it. Your husband is who he is and you will not change him. The way I manage situations is totally different than my husband. Any suggestion I would have would never exit his mouth. If it get bad then either he will get talked to at work or he wont. It will come back to bite him in the *** later when he needs a job and they all black ball him. Happened to my old boss. He was such a toolbox and treated everyone like dirt and a micromanager. I finally left and so did several others. When he got laid off he asked all of us for a job. Fat chance. I just threw his resume in the trash.

You might let him know that the way he is now will come back to haunt him later. He may not always in in power so he should not take advantage of it. People are human and deserve respect.  

Answer 7

He may be that way at work, but as long as he doesn't do you that way, what does it matter???

Answer 8

Best thing, stay out of his job. It's his job and he's still there so obviously he's doing something right. It may sound terrible when he tells it, but it's not easy being a supervisor of any number of people, it's alot of stress and pressure.

So just leave his job at work, let him tell you how his day was, and let it go.

Answer 9

I think you should really move on, I don't see the problem, his work doesn't effect your relationship and he is friends with his co-workers and even a person under his supervision. You project your experience on the situation and have you ever really seen him at work and the way he acts? You don't know the situation. What are you trying to talk to him about? Let him do his job.

Answer 10

Sadly CEOs and business owners by in large, don't care how supervision treats their employees.  All they care about is the bottom line, profit.  They don't' care how many jobs they ship overseas or illegally import cheap labor.  They don't care how many employees get steam rolled over by their supervisors.  It is a greed driven business from the top down.  Stockholder are ignorant of this fact nor do they want to find out.  All they care about is their stock prices and their dividends.  

Sadly your husband may just be out of a job if he starts treating people like people instead of like animals.  Greed, in the end, destroys all.